suicydking (2291) 49 SFW Posts | 1,185 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. Registered 2008-02-13 17:34:16 Comment Karma: 64 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from suicydking

Comment on What do they hate us for? (2009-04-07 07:54:22)
@Puulaahi: Ahem. Not only am I an East Coast hockey fan, but I live in Buffalo. That hurt, dude.
Comment on Use of a Bayonette (2009-04-06 14:39:43)
@Paul_Is_Drunk: Not a chance. The gear is EXACTLY what orks are modeled with. The spikes, fur, choppa, etc. The only difference is the size, because the Imperium's view of humanity doesn't allow for anything to be tougher or scarier than the Emperor's soldiers. I'm always amused when I read a 40k story and some poor guardsman gets a reality check the first time he actually sees a xenos. "This shit aint nothing like training!" Que the Commissar to step in at about this point in time...
Comment on Use of a Bayonette (2009-04-06 11:45:22)
@LukeV1-5: We tried that a few times. Fundamental fact of CoD4: If I have a gun in my hand, I will shoot you. The bare minimum we work with now is pistols & knives. It's almost as much fun as knives only, and no one yells when they get shot. Also great for improving your accuracy.
Comment on Use of a Bayonette (2009-04-06 09:06:19)
I love how the ork is tiny.
Comment on Minge! (2009-04-04 12:53:29)
@ColombianMonkey: Maybe I need a FACEPUNCH?
Comment on Minge! (2009-04-04 11:26:42)
You're a mingebag.
Comment on Spider Eats Lizard (2009-04-03 16:02:23)
@dieAntagonista: Terrifying? That's just nature. How about humans, who do things like rip organisms in half while they are still growing, throw them into the back of a truck, and transport them off to be wrapped. Some of them are still alive when they get to the packaging facility. These unfortunate souls are then taken to market, where their sundered forms are put on display for everyone to inspect. Eventually, someone like you will come along, give them a squeeze to check for freshness, and bring them home. There, they are put in cold storage until such time as you deem fit to grab a handful of flesh, rip it off and toss it into a salad bow. From there, it get's stuffed into your omnivorous maw, where it is mercilessly masticated, pulped into shreds. It descends into a bladder full of acid where it is broken down into nutrients. And that's just what happens when you eat lettuce.
Comment on Sham What! (2009-04-03 13:10:57)
All I know is the make-up guy from the Sham-Wow commercial deserves an Academy Award.
Comment on Spider Eats Lizard (2009-04-03 13:09:29)
@Stolid: Spiders don't really 'eat'. What that spider is going to do is inject the lizard with venom & digestive juices. The insides of the lizard will turn into a milkshake. The spider will drink up as much as it needs and then wrap the lizard for later use.
Comment on PBR Girl (2009-04-01 14:29:25)
Bitch looks like Supernanny.
Comment on Really Popular Blacks (2009-04-01 10:07:16)
Thanks for not disappointing me today, nate.
Comment on Red Patch Boys (2009-04-01 07:38:45)
AKA Natural Ginger Squad
Comment on Robert Paulson's Boob (2009-04-01 07:37:44)
Fucking win.
Comment on Long Eared Widget Thing (2009-03-31 09:26:01)
Get back in the pokeball, fucker.
Comment on RPB - Ron Paul Blimp (2009-03-30 16:50:30)
@Sticky: I'm from Buffalo, NY. Please don't mention T.O.. Ever.