AgZed (2298) 78 SFW Posts | 470 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Registered 2008-02-14 01:27:48 Comment Karma: 142 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from AgZed

Comment on 6 things (2011-05-22 01:55:43)
Star Trek, Star Wars, coffee, phones/math/gadgets, boobs and shit. This picture has been presented with woefully inadequate context.
Comment on Accurate linux representation. (2011-05-22 01:52:49)
As much as I love me my Linux, I think a better analogy would be half a dozen different blocks of the same color that all look like they fit in the slot, but only one actually will, and you're expected to "just know" which one goes where. That might sound like a bad thing, but given that Mac OS involves putting the blocks where nice Mr. Jobs tells you to AND NOWHERE ELSE and all the Windows blocks are broken and on fire, it's actually pretty good. I've got a Linux file server in my closet that keeps all my precious data nice and safe, another Linux box in the den that I use for screwing around and for testing out changes I want to make to the file server, and a Windows box sitting next to it that I use for all my internetting and gaming. Between the two, I can do whatever I want, and love them both albeit in different ways. I'm not opposed to getting a Mac if I needed to do something it could do that the others couldn't, I just don't know what that would be.
Comment on Which ones? (2011-05-18 07:55:46)
"A" I'm in agreement with. She looks like she may be legitimately retarded, and while there's nothing wrong with that in a strict "Would I stick my dick in it?" sense, not being able to prove consent is a turn-off, so "A" is out. "B" looks like a screamer, which is always good providing you can prove the aforementioned consent, so she's in. CDE look like the girls everyone figured where fucking everyone left right & center, but in truth don't lose their virginity until they're 24. While not renowned for being terribly skilled, or even lively, in the sack, if anything goes awkwardly and seriously embarrassingly wrong (which is often does), they're the only ones who will believe "No, it's totally normal" as an excuse. So they are so very in. "F" was the one who was fucking everyone in high school, and likely gargles semen instead of Listerine in the morning. Nothing special in the sack, but expects you to act like she's the freakiest sex kitten you've ever been with, and when you can't pretend that her lying there like a wet towel is something out of the Karma Sutra: Unrated Edition, the inevitable drama just isn't worth it. So "F" is out. "G" will give you the dirtiest, most depraved sex you could ever imagine, and you will wind up crying in the shower afterwards, desperately trying to get clean, while both abjectly terrified and insanely aroused over the thought that she might call again. So "G" is in. "H" will bite. And scratch. And make you bleed. While "G" will crush your soul and shatter your manhood, "H" won't be satisfied until she breaks your body. While that whole "pleasure=pain" think is mostly for freaks and weirdos, the agony "H" will inflict upon you will also drive you to the highest reaches of ecstasy, so she's in. I have found, after extensive and exhaustive research, that chicks who are wearing baggy plaid shirts tend to wicked bodies, low self-esteem, and are the most vicious kind of demon in the sack. So "I" is in. I'm not sure what to think about "J". If she's standing normally, something is fucked up right there. If she's semi-squatting like she's trying to take a shit, she might be pretty decent, when she's standing normally. That does beg the question of why she's posing for a picture like she needs to shit. If she has some latent "shit = sexy" thing going on, that can go fucking wrong, fucking fast, and risking that sort of thing isn't worth it for a chick who can't even look sexy while taking a shit. "J" is out. TL;DR: AF & J are out. I think up crazy shit while high.
Comment on christ vs atheism (2011-05-15 02:52:17)
Atheist has long-ish hair as an homage to monkey ancestors. Christians depict Jesus with long-ish hair. Coincidence, or secret message?
Comment on wedding fridge (2011-05-06 09:58:58)
I recently pictured myself stumbling over to this fridge at 3am for a drink, my hair and beard all mashed to one side, my cock half hanging out and... Well I say "recently" but I mean about three hours ago. I've only just stopped the screaming long enough to write this.
Comment on kelly chambers is a fucking hottie (2011-05-06 02:36:30)
Kelly Chambers also has one of the most horrific deaths I've ever seen in a video game. Still haven't figured out if it's possible to both save her and have Legion not die, because the two seem mutually exclusive. Christ, I'm going to end up playing through the whole goddamn game again, aren't I?
Comment on Osama bin Laden is dead (2011-05-02 08:08:27)
That was kinda interesting. Although when I clicked on the link I was expecting something more along the lines of: "Oh shit." "Oh shit oh shit." "Ohhhhhhhh, shit." "Oh shiiiiiiiiit." "Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!" "Oh shit?" "Oh. Shit." "Oh shit!"
Comment on Chloe Moretz in black (2011-04-26 07:10:50)
My thought process was a little more disjointed. Something along the lines of, "She looks familiar... Chloe who? Wait... Hit Girl? But she's got... Oh, I'm going to the special hell."
Comment on God Bless America (2011-03-21 05:57:52)
Don't worry. Most of us non-Americans know the majority of you guys are good folks. We're just a little confused as to why you let your fuckwads have so much airtime.
Comment on Physiological find a word (2011-03-21 05:50:34)
Crush fool eat. It is important to keep ones strength up while crushing fools.
Comment on lands of human sexuality (2011-03-18 20:13:07)
Until now, I was unaware that there was such things as a shoe shining fetish (Blackbooting). Pretty much everything on there I knew about (which means a frightening amount of my brain is dedicated to storing information about types of sex I don't have), but shoe shining? That came outta nowhere.
Comment on machette (2011-03-18 19:45:13)
I liked it more than I thought I would, mainly because I've never been a huge fan of the "grindhouse" genre, but I've always thought Danny Trejo is awesome and should be starring in action movies instead of being a minion in movies like Spy Kids.
Comment on I am Free (2011-03-18 04:28:39)
"Go to work." The assumption is that you have a job, and most people who have jobs need them, but if you don't go, you won't have a job, and might not be able to afford food & shelter. So that's good advice. "Send your kids to school." The way this is phrased, the suggestion seems to be sending the kids off to school is all the responsibility you should take for your children's education. Which would make you a shitty parent. Help them with their schoolwork, teach them to be analytical and critical, and help instill them with a burning desire to always learn more, lest you suffer the shame of finding out your child is a Youtube commenter. "Follow fashion." Rather vague, no? Everything is one kind of fashion or another, and if you find something that suits you, where's the harm in running with it? Or do I need to dress like a goon simply because it's not the "popular" fashion? That seems like a rather poor reason to do anything. "Act normal." Define normal. "Walk on the pavement." I'm assuming they meant to say "Walk on the sidewalk", since sidewalks are made with concrete, but roads are made with pavement, and walking in the middle of the road is dangerous. Or are we meant to frolic through the unpaved grass instead? Nay, my naive friend, nay; for that is the realm of dogshit. "Watch TV." If you enjoy it, why not? I don't, personally, but Bertrand Russell (a man way smarter than whoever wrote this tripe) once said, "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time". "Save for old age." That's just good advice. I've seen the what happens to those who don't, and it's heartbreaking. "Obey the law." Also good advice. Although also rather vague. An occasional misdemeanor is good for the soul, but steer clear of felonies, because jail is a very sad place. This is like, highschool level pseudo-philosophy. And it's dumb. Mainly for missing out on the crucial concept that freedom means not having any responsibilities, when in fact it means the opposite. People in prison have no responsibilities to speak of, but they aren't free. Children are less free than adults, but also have less responsibilities. As they get older, they gain more freedom, but also take on more responsibilities. Not because life sucks, or society is trying to bring them down, but because you can't have one without the other. That's just how it fucking works.
Comment on Engines of Armageddon (2011-03-05 21:08:46)
The one thing that hipsters and metalheads seem to have in common is a strange obsession with creating ridiculously long and hopelessly meaningless genre names. It's an easy trap to fall into, but by following this simple script, it may be possible for you to keep your douchebaggery at a manageable level. You: "So I saw this metal band the other day. They were pretty good." Tard: "Cool! What kind of metal?" You: "Metal." Tard: "Yeah, but what kind?" You: "Fucking. Metal." The use of a pimp slap at this point is entirely optional, and up to your personal discretion.
Comment on Giant Robot (2011-02-17 20:08:16)
Me? Trolling? Nevar! I hadn't a clue what this was when I posted it, so I just slapped a lame-ass Transformers quote in there with scarcely a thought given to actually being right. A few days later I saw the box cover for Evangelion and went, "Huh. So that's where it's from."