suicydking (2291) 49 SFW Posts | 1,185 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. Registered 2008-02-13 17:34:16 Comment Karma: 64 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from suicydking

Comment on A cop chasing a chicken (2010-06-19 18:40:33)
State Troopers will taze someone at the drop of a hat on the side of a highway, to prevent a dangerous situation which may cause the suspect or officer to be struck by a vehicle. However, they will apparently chase a damn chicken across several lanes of traffic.
Comment on Fuck Pronger (2010-06-19 11:01:35)
Oh, I get it. It's clever because if you switch the first letters, it makes a swear. Anyway, my answer is Buck, and my wager is Fudder.
Comment on weird family - face sitting (2010-06-14 17:42:28)
So does Frankie.
Comment on weird family - face sitting (2010-06-14 14:47:03)
Noticed it right away, just trying to decide if that's Frankie Muniz or not.
Comment on penis decoration (2010-06-14 12:52:28)
That's because the baby filling fell out. They used low quality taco shells. Does anyone else remember that old commercial for taco shells? The leader of the gringo gang bites his taco and it spills out all over his bandoleers on his chest. He says "Aw man! All over my booooolets and everything!" That's what happened here, except without ground beef, bullets or gringos.
Comment on baby with pipe (2010-06-10 18:37:03)
Baby Winston Churchill? Hell, that photo was taken a week before he died.
Comment on george orwell on the nationalists (2010-06-10 10:15:24)
Nah, it's not required reading anymore. Now, they just use it as an employee manual when you get a civil service job.
Comment on christina ricci (2010-06-08 12:43:22)
I live around the corner from the titty-bar and expressway shown in that film.
Comment on christina ricci (2010-06-08 11:42:20)
Christ, there is no part of this woman that is in proportion to the rest. It honestly looks like someone took three or four pics of her and pasted them together.
Comment on not just a brick in the wall (2010-06-08 10:28:41)
Fuck being part of the wall in the first place. I am the stone that the builder refused.
Comment on Ricky Gervais on being an atheist (2010-06-08 09:49:09)
I find plenty of reasons to act civil without fear of spending eternity in Hell. I've always thought that Religion was a silly way to get people to be moral and behave. Everything is fear based in that regard. I act out of love and kindness, and find it to be genuinely fulfilling, without any baggage attached to it.
Comment on not just a brick in the wall (2010-06-08 08:44:47)
Indistinguishable from the bricks, aside from it's assertion. Apparently it takes more than just talk.
Comment on 80s love (2010-06-07 14:39:14)
Not even once did I pause and say to myself, "Oh, what was that from again?".
Comment on archaeological method vs indiana jones (2010-06-07 12:19:33)
They didn't waste my time. Seeing as how my only interaction with that film was watching people make fun of it on the internet, I think I actually came out on top.
Comment on 3rd place 2010 army national guard combative award (2010-06-07 10:20:09)
No eye contact, no kissing, no balls touching. Not gay.