suicydking (2291) 49 SFW Posts | 1,185 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. Registered 2008-02-13 17:34:16 Comment Karma: 64 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from suicydking

Comment on American Freedom (made in China) (2009-01-06 17:33:11)
Sometime shortly after 911, I was working at a retail store. we began stocking these bumper stickers of American flags that said "These colors don't run." that were made in China. Guess what? People put them on their cars, and when it rained, the colors ran.
Comment on Push here for Bacon (2009-01-06 13:45:56)
This shit never fucking works!
Comment on Playstation 3 quotes (2009-01-06 08:44:39)
@vutterfly: Don't stand the 360 on end. I don't know if you all were or not, but it's a guaranteed scratch on the disc if you do. I haven't actually seen anyone play Little Big Planet, but I'm intrigued. it looks genuinely fun. But I have to ask, is it really that much better than Garry's Mod? I mean, I built some sweet stuff in Garry's Mod. Helicopters, tanks, forts, catapults, and my melon dispenser of doom... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teP1jq5JmG8
Comment on Mirror's Edge - Faith (2009-01-03 21:02:15)
There are exactly two people with guns in the demo that you actually have to interact with. Two. The rest you are supposed to run away from. There is even a pop-up tip that tells you to run away from them, and another tip that tells you that you need to disarm/disable the other two. I had a few friends who got really confused by the demo, and I pointed out to them that you have all the clues you need given to you to know what to do. They played through again and paid attention, and did fine. Holding B to look at your next objective, for instance. I'll admit, the helicopter is kind of tricky, and I didn't figure it out on my first try. After I got shot on the rooftop, I tried again and realized that when the guy was screaming into my ear "I don't care how you get off that roof, just do it!" as the copter came into view right in front of me that I was supposed to jump for it.
Comment on Heather Graham (2009-01-01 11:20:49)
@Gary Scenario: Zing! She was great on Scrubs, too. Kielbasa!
Comment on Lohan Doesn't Change Expressions (2009-01-01 00:19:40)
Not the same without the music. By the way, it officially takes about 2 years for a meme to get here from ytmnd.
Comment on River Street Savannah (2008-12-31 16:36:40)
@thelotuseater725: You know what? Scratch what I just said. I'm just going to watch.
Comment on River Street Savannah (2008-12-31 16:21:32)
@thelotuseater725: How about if I come there instead, and instead of a 3some I just shag your wife?
Comment on Mimic Octopus (2008-12-31 16:11:35)
The mimic octopus has been my favorite critter for years now. Simply amazing to watch them morph into their various disguises.
Comment on River Street Savannah (2008-12-31 15:39:13)
@Hazard: When I visited there, I was staying with a friend who was attending that school. I remember eating at some hot dog joint with a nice view of a park... Forsythe park maybe? Donno, but it was good eats.
Comment on Hypocrisy IS the greatest luxury (2008-12-31 15:34:44)
My wife works for a law firm. I have nothing good to say about lawyers. @dieAntagonista: That doesn't in Texas. Some old lady shot an intruder a year or two ago there, it made national news. She was like 82 or something. I'm going to digress quickly before this turns into a gun control thread, though.
Comment on 14 bound volumes of GI Joe comics (2008-12-31 15:31:22)
Worth it just to have a copy of #21 - Silent Interlude that isn't about to disintegrate the next time I read it. Also, I'm missing an issue from the Snake Eyes Trilogy, and I miss it dearly. In short, where the hell did you find that???????
Comment on Hypocrisy IS the greatest luxury (2008-12-31 14:42:56)
@sylvanish: Smoke a joint & turn on your sarcasm detector, please. I think he was being facetious. :P
Comment on Hypocrisy IS the greatest luxury (2008-12-31 14:36:06)
@Annarchy: Probably correct, but we all know the old joke about the shop teacher who has to use both hands to hold up enough fingers to name off the 4 rules of safety in the woodshop.
Comment on Hypocrisy IS the greatest luxury (2008-12-31 14:34:30)
@dieAntagonista: The paramedics had to convince the manager that he needed to go to the ER first, instead of straight to the lab. Some old bullshit, right there. I don't know for sure, but I think that if he would have opted out of the test he would have been canned on the spot. His insurance is going to cover the ER, I think the test is for workman's comp reasons, and is mandatory with any injury on their property.