suicydking (2291) 49 SFW Posts | 1,185 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. Registered 2008-02-13 17:34:16 Comment Karma: 64 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from suicydking

Comment on Damned Dam (2009-04-27 09:44:12)
"Where's the damn dam tour!??"
Comment on yo dawg I herd you like dolls (2009-04-27 09:37:53)
Judging by the look on his face, I can see that even he knows how epic this is. That look says "Checkmate, bitches."
Comment on 9-11 was an inside job - demand the truth (2009-04-27 09:34:55)
Everyone is busy arguing about controlled demolition & remote control planes. It's crazy enough to keep us busy for at least 8 years, let's see how much longer. Meanwhile, we forget that the people who did this come from one of our allied nations, and were led by someone who was on our payroll. Saudi Arabia then went and put ads on US television reminding us that we are allies. We counter-attack a whole other nation, and fight another war on behalf of Israel. Does anyone know how many people in the upper tiers of our government are citizens of Israel? Or that Israel is ranked number one in domestic espionage among US allies? Things didn't go down like the official story says, but that doesn't mean that it happened the way Alex Jones says either. No one has gotten it right so far, and you will never see the real story. But I would wager it's a lot more mundane than holographic airplanes flown by robots, and a lot more interesting than guys with boxcutters from a cave.
Comment on Superman on the couch (2009-04-27 08:58:48)
@frogurtx: Watched it on Sundance on Demand with the wife on Friday. It was fantastic. Don't let your kids near Batman! Was not expecting the above pictured Superman to begin a conversation with "There was this one time, when I was doing way to much crystal meth..."
Comment on Icy Duck Slip (2009-04-24 08:19:18)
@Teutonic Logic: I agree. You have to picture it in slow-mo with some sweet techno music.
Comment on Bad Parking (2009-04-23 11:08:31)
The REAL story behind this note is that there was no actual damage done to the parked car. The point of the note was to make the driver paranoid, causing him to spend god knows how long looking for the scratches, and to make him think twice about parking like that again.
Comment on Forget it, Hobbes... (2009-04-22 10:08:56)
@ohmybob: No offense, but you need to reassess your motherfucking priorities.
Comment on Specrus USB Hub (2009-04-21 08:33:06)
Roy G. Biv is gonna kick yer ass, nate. Also, Steven Colbert says that rainbows are gods way of frowning at gay people.
Comment on Ben 10 (2009-04-17 09:38:52)
@jimmieq: Chowder is my guilty pleasure. Also, gotta give props to Ben10 because Grandpa is voiced by the guy who narrated the first Diablo game for the PC. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR-ufpPE4Rg Here's a remix of his narration of the Sin War.
Comment on Firebreathing jesters (2009-04-17 09:31:50)
I'm guessing that's shopped. The big fireball on top looks pasted on. The flame on the bottom looks like the real one.
Comment on Mr. Wizard (2009-04-17 09:23:18)
Don Herbert FTMFW
Comment on Alotta Bucks Coffee (2009-04-16 13:26:21)
@CathyLong: First, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kitty-corner no mention of caddy-corner. I think you meant catty or cater. Second, it's not always about demand. Sometimes it's about saturating the market until you have no competition left, and then shutting down half your stores. The only place that Starbucks puts up a shop in my town is across the street from a local coffee house. When they can afford to drown you out, it's impossible to compete. That's capitalism, I know. It just sucks for the guy trying to run a small business. I dislike the cult of commercialism that's developed in this country.
Comment on Alotta Bucks Coffee (2009-04-16 11:06:32)
@Tyger42: Lol I've actually walked down that block myself.
Comment on Alotta Bucks Coffee (2009-04-16 10:53:09)
Last time I was on Yongue St. in Toronto, I saw two Starbucks kitty-corner from each other. How fucking full of yourself do you have to be to build two of the same store at one intersection?
Comment on Guinness (2009-04-16 09:44:48)
I love the Dropkick Murphys almost as much as I love Guinness, so... The rats were in a tizzy addicted to the bone the hairy lugs were giddy they were never going home like a bunch of drunken pirates prepared to walk the plank they drank, they sang, they took a plunge and in the beer they sank! One, two, one-two-three-four! Come on all you good rats we'll send you to heaven you'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam 'cause in these vats you've made quite a creation a potion that turned the Guinness to gold!