suicydking (2291) 49 SFW Posts | 1,185 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. Registered 2008-02-13 17:34:16 Comment Karma: 64 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from suicydking

Comment on What If? (2010-02-01 21:07:47)
Stop being a pussy and smoke the damn joint. No, not like that. It's going to boat on you. See? Now you did it. Gimmie that. Let me fix it...
Comment on Sanguinius (2010-02-01 21:03:43)
By the way, I got Horus Rising on PDF. If you want it, tell me where it's going. I suggest buying it though. I only got it on PDF because I gave away 2 copies of the book already. :)
Comment on Sanguinius (2010-02-01 21:00:31)
sngyze, you should really start with Horus Rising from the Horus Heresy series. It's fucking amazing fiction even if you got no love for 40k. Aside from being amazing fiction, it's the first of a long, as yet unfinished series by a stable of great authors, which details the time period 10,000 years before the current Warhammer 40k timeline. It's a good place to start, anyway. After that, you can go to any bookstore and find lots of novels. You could read all the wikis and such on line for free, but that's sort of like reading the Cliff Notes to The Matrix. By the way, Horus Rising was penned by Dan Abnett, who is a fiction GOD. Anything written by him in the 40k universe is bound to be good, and full of character development. I personally enjoyed the Gaunt's Ghosts series, which is about normal soldiers, his Eisenhorn & Ravenor books, which are about Inquisitors (the secret police type folks in 40k) and all of his works in the Horus Heresy series (which tend to focus on Space Marines). I try not to be much of a fanboy for anything, but Abnett's 40k fiction is a cut above and deserves lots of praise. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_works_by_Dan_Abnett
Comment on Aleister Crowley (2010-02-01 20:49:50)
Dude was born with a tail. A FUCKING TAIL. He had a few extra vertebrae. They used to swell up & get all painful, so he had it amputated when he was young. There was a war going on, so he had it done on a rubber mattress in a hospital hallway with no anesthetic. Kinda explains a lot, huh? But if there were no Mr. Crowley, then Ozzy's best solo piece would never have been written. Fuck Crazy Train.
Comment on The Rapture (2010-02-01 20:33:25)
Good thing dude was outside when the Rapture happened.
Comment on Capslock Problem (2010-02-01 11:01:54)
yOU fOOLS oBVIOUSLY hAVE nO cLUE wHAT yOU aRE dOING.
Comment on Sanguinius (2010-02-01 10:05:54)
Don't worry about the wings in narrow corridors. The Emperor's Palace on Terra is roughly the size of Europe. I don't think it has any 'narrow' corridors. When Rogal Dorn was tasked with fortifying the palace against a siege, he began by removing the top half of Mt. Everest for building materials. These Primarch & Emperor guys kind of fail to fuck around. If I remember correctly, there was a passage in one of the novels from pre-heresy where The Emperor was to land on a planet and give a speech to the legions of Space Marines. The Mechanicum bulldozed a continent to create an parade ground for his speech. When your Empire spans the galaxy, you do things BIG.
Comment on The Complete Guide To Proper Rocking (2010-01-30 15:01:31)
Hey Lamb, which band was he from? Did he fuck your girlfriend, or your mom?
Comment on NHL's Golden Boy - Alex Ovechkin (2010-01-30 14:54:17)
I know how you feel. It's like the day that I realized that the only reason I have for hating Crosby is that he doesn't play for Buffalo.
Comment on Lion and Tiger and Bears, Oh My (2010-01-30 14:50:44)
I was going to comment that someone put a lot of effort into making a Wizard of Oz joke. Then, I read the description. It turns out truth is stranger than fiction!
Comment on Apple iPad (2010-01-28 10:03:50)
Although I'm not too excited about the iPad, I am very excited to see how Google is going to decimate it with their own version.
Comment on tree is eating the sky! (2010-01-28 09:51:52)
Not real? What makes you say that? Reality is nothing but perception. There have been times when my wife & I have perceived the exact same thing in a situation like that, and I think that says something...
Comment on I drive a clean car (2010-01-27 21:29:29)
Donno, nyoks. It was more of a Florida thing.
Comment on Spring Acupuncture Massage Slipper (2010-01-27 17:12:55)
Rectnm? He killed 'em!
Comment on I drive a clean car (2010-01-27 14:11:03)
Clean coal is great. But I'm talking about Niagara Falls. You could hang a cup on a stick attached to a Radio Shack electromagnet into the water there and power a neighborhood with it. It's as ridiculous as the fact that most of the oranges tiki eats are probably from Chile.