Brevity Truta (948) 7 SFW Posts | 835 Space Comments | Favorites | RSS Feed Registered 2007-08-09 06:55:32 Comment Karma: 280 Featured Comments: 0 Member of :

Recent Comments from Brevity Truta

Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-28 07:18:12)
It might surprise you to know I am an idealist who believes in love; fathomless, raw love that never ends. I do tend to writing all kinds of sharp, blustery stuff, striding in like a cocky bitch and listen to this longass thing won't you on a site which tends to actual brevity, which is all very well but for this, imagine reading this in the most soothing, fond tone you can and then take off the dollop of what the fuckery and flick it at whoever's in range that you don't like. Hard. This is all about the story of my true love, [classified roles], and supplier of rare herbs (parsely, sage, rosemary and thyme). The tall, energy-exuding ex-soviet agent appears throughout these, because you know that thing that happens when everything reminds you of that person? Yeah. I got that, bad. I've tried to stick to the facts of this and that gallery but fuck telling you all about Burt Reynolds' days as a ... yeah. Burt who? Let's call him Yuri. Clockwise from top left: a) Here he is doing a Cab Calloway inspired spin on the streets of Kiev, being a fishpicker (kiss kicker?), a grinner, a lover, and a sinner, playing his music in the sun (his smile is the sun); joking, smoking, and midnight toking, though alright maybe he did hurt a few someones - life was tough back in the USSR. You see three dudes there? I see one, who looks nothing like any of them. b) Here he is on the left, and the right, and when I'm stuck in the middle, there's no clowns to the left of me, but a joker to the right, all the same. c) When I cry and get completely irrational, he makes me think and then laugh, every time. I don't know how he does it. It's like he thinks I can do all three, but prefers me not to cry because it reminds him of all the shitty black market soap operas he resourcefully used to learn English from, back in the I know I said that, but can you imagine? d) These are bitches he took down with me. Fucking white sisters. Triplets. He wrote his and my names inside a love heart in the wet concrete boots we used to sink 'em with, and made jokes about some weird book he read about cows and code breaking, while the concrete set. e) So, ah, I kinda know he's the real deal because he loves country music, the most sincere genre, surely. He loves big lapels, too. Man of taste and culture. and f) He's fierce, stubborn Mr Badger, and he's not. Because Russia doesn't have furries, only bigass fur hats and coats and muffs for real winters. Before I start saying that's me rolling in the grass ... I'll excuse myself to go and see him in my dreams. aka "Tolstoy snaps a quill".
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-28 06:03:22)
The States might have sophisticated and slick Mad Men to design packaging for common household products, some so beautiful and iconic that people collect them for their timeless value and meaning, such as coke bottles, beer cans, and twinkie wrappers. Quebec goes one better, and has actual Madmen designing the packaging. These are all best-selling drugstore products that were filched for album covers by a US record label, and no-one the wiser. How? no idea, but that's what happened. Clockwise from top left: a) Cat Pooper Worming Tablets for Humans (strawberry pasta flavoured chewable) b) Giant Loincloth Man varicose Vein Compression Stockings (knee high 2 pack) c) Clog Head Ear Drops to soften wax d) Free of Dangling Planet Shimmy hemerrhoid cream d) Picasso Homme Portable Mirror with built in lip gloss pots e) Fist Pump Jam Condoms, rough rat pack rider, 28 pack. It all sounds way cooler and actually funny in French-Canadian, really.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-28 05:34:35)
An early storyboard for Jurassic Park. It was originally a script written by, and starring Woody Allan, with comedic riffing supplied by Jerry Lewis. The Script was written when Woody was in an especially Continental mood. Jerry, who was by this stage familiar with what French people loved in a great comedian, worked with Woody on the script, which was originally set in Central Park. Clockwise from top left: a) The original Alan Grant was to be played by Woody. Grant was a food critic, seen here digging into a menu in a harsh New Jersey cultural desert, for research. This scene featured Grant pulling a large mud crab claw from his pocket and using it to sexually harass a waitress. Jerry Lewis really knew how to bring Allen's hilarious side out. 2) John Hammond, entrepreneur, had built a theme park featuring resurrected dinosaurs. To be played by the guy from QOTSA's dad, Benny. 3) The lawyer. Allen's nemesis, threatening to flush his food critic career down the toilet. 4) & 5) the kids, played by ingenues of a legal age that Woody had known for a few years. 6) Ian Malcolm, chaos mathematician, brought in by Hammond to assess how well his theme park was doing before it opened to the public. Malcolm was to be played by Jerry Lewis. Here he is seen with some Velociraptor eggs, that were going to be hatched by ostriches that had been injected with iguana pheromones. In the script bones, Jerry got injected too, which was to result in hijinks. But with no computers to sabotage, no solid science for how the dinosaurs came to be back, no smart and lovely paleobotanist Ellie Sattler, a lecherous and useless food critic with a crab claw and a bunch of self-referential lines, Jerry eating all the melons, and far too much thinking involved about all those things, the project was shelved in favour of something better suited to the two stars' mammoth talents: Star Wars. Fortunately Nic Cage bought the rights to the script, even though he was two years old, and the rest is history. the working title - a classic Jerry level New York topical pun - was beyond awful, too. Thank goodness Saint Nic spared the world that.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-27 17:20:18)
khakhakhakha da
Comment on JELLYFISH (2019-11-26 10:46:59)
That's what the Vietnam venoms said
Comment on Koalas Functionally Extinct After Australia Bushfires Destroy 80 Of Their Habitat (2019-11-26 10:43:23)
Much like your humour there
Comment on Koalas Functionally Extinct After Australia Bushfires Destroy 80 Of Their Habitat (2019-11-26 10:41:05)
No... but I'd be almost OK with it the other way around.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-26 10:37:20)
Usually we start at the top left, and work our way around. This time, we're starting at the logical place, and the place where logic departed that day for our young hero, Murray Nibs. We start at the bottom left. Yes, Mrs Miller and her Soylent Green Mushroom Hash and Cockle Brownies. Mrs Miller lived in cottage on the Cornish coast, just outside a little village called Stepney Cowpattesdyke--on-Boot. She was not your typical fox-hunting, cockle-drabbing local. Mrs Miller was not regarded as being local, at all, having moved to the village locals for three miles around simply called "On-Boot" thirty years prior, from the East End of London. She retained her cockney accent and habits she'd picked up in her work as a cosmetic salesperson abroad during the 1390s. Not a typo, though she did spend some time in Berlin in the 1930s, as well. The On-Boot locals didn't care that Mrs Miller was a witch; they had no stake in that. They just didn't think she was Local. Which suited Mrs Miller just fine. More time to knit, commune with demonic forces, and bake in peace. One day though, Murray Nibs, drawn by whispered tales of the first year Mrs Miller had lived in On-Boot. Murray, being of a scientific bent, wanted to know if it was true she'd donated such infernal brownies to the church fete the vicar had disrobed under their influence, climbed onto the roof of St Swithians and pissed on the villagers gaping up at him. Being of a scientific bent, this meant eating at least one hengehog, as the whispers called them. Murray found Mrs Miller to be a friendly, knowing type, even if she wasn't Local, with a left eye like it belonged behind an eyepatch. She was more than happy to offer him the choice first brownie of a batch she'd just made for herself, her black goat, black cat, and seven white hens. Murray ate five. Brownies, that is. The following five images are what happened next. Clockwise from Mrs Murray: a) The first effects came on, euphoria and the urge to drift across the sands to join a harem. Murray wrapped a sheet off Mrs Miller's line and wandered off to the nearby beach, following the faint scent of camels. He enjoyed the way his heavy, free breasts rolled in rhythm with the waves. So far, nothing too disturbing. b) Murray wandered up a path and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror of a public toilet, where he'd stopped in to check how he looked. He'd thought he had luscious beach tresses and instead - a French Poodle had been scalped and stuck on top of his head. Nowadays we have "what I think I look like/ what I look like" memes to relate to and prepare us for such shocks. Back then, Murray ran screaming right into c) 'Nuff said. Even if it was not a hallucination, but a local lass doing some gardening. d) Murray crashed into the woods and collapsed sobbing on the ground. A ... cameltoe butt snout dog thing came up and asked "Will anyone marry me?" e) seventeen hours later this is Murray, still seeing the cameltoe butt snout dog thing, who Murray now called "Tex" and had a variable-sided relationship with, depending on whether Tex had one snout, or seven, and ... other things. Murray was tough. His ancestors had survived wars and plagues and wet tweed underpants. He made it out alive. He used his experience, rich and meaningful as it was, to fuel his career as a Svengali in the music business. All these albums were recorded with Murray masterminding, from 1968-1973. All are the actual artists, recreating the profound time Murray had on the Soylent Green Mushroom Hash and Cockle Brownies. That is the real Mrs Miller, who became quite the darling of swinging London, and likes to claim she was the one who turned Margaret Thatcher on. Who knows, that wink might merely be a perma-squint from when the vicar pissed in her eye.
Comment on JELLYFISH (2019-11-25 18:49:20)
Kind of like the deadliest creature venom-wise - cone snails - might have super insulin link useful for diabetes treatment, scientists are working on how to put these little guys (slightly modified) into watercoolers at Amazon Fulfillment centres to boost morale. So far, the fresh water environment has been a bit of a hurdle. Marine venoms are so interesting, for real.
Comment on ROOSTER (2019-11-25 18:38:59)
It's a Magic Eye image (no surprise cock)
Comment on Koalas Functionally Extinct After Australia Bushfires Destroy 80 Of Their Habitat (2019-11-25 18:30:13)
The fires are dreadful up there (I say up because it is, relatively). Nightmarish stuff. Koalas ... ah, they might not be cuddly (those claws) and are the ass end of evolution, and ... a lot of them are infected with devastating chlamydia, so rampant some say they ought to be culled back. The fires are one more thing link to chlamydia piece (I know right, lovely reading over a cup of coffee or a beer). Oh and this is how they sound... so cute :u lol link Still, I think most of us want them to make it. If the fires and people rescuing them helps raise awareness and from that stuff changes, then that's something. Lighter piece, still sciencefact: "If you gather a bunch of Eucalyptus leaves, which the koalas eat, and put them on a plate in front of the koala, the koala won’t know what to do with them; they just sit there and gawk at it. They lack the ability to discern that it’s still food given that the leaves have moved off the tree and onto a new source that they’re unfamiliar with. Another fun byproduct of their smooth brain is that koalas don’t really seem to understand what rain is. They will just sit in that rain wondering why they get wet until the rain passes." few more funfacts here link
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-25 13:14:48)
I know these are well-liked, these galleries. You know I enjoy the hell out of them. You're spoiling me Storms :3 Thank you. Back later for this one, properly. It's stupid late here and all I'm seeing is Kurt Cobain in the bottom two, which is fine, and a nice banana, but where's Nic Cage when bloody not quite Woody Allen and not quite bloody Jerry Lewis crop up?
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-25 13:03:57)
Clowns, all the same, pretty much, right? Not if you're the Head of Facebook. Yes, that very same beacon of success that has content moderators at his company on minimum wage watching everything from beheadings, murders, and rapes to Trump cosplay. The same prick who makes sure these workers don't receive mental health support, or health care benefits to treat the PTSD these jobs can saddle them with, but hey they do get nine minutes of supervised wellness time each day to cry in the stairwell while someone watches them. That very same. What a jerk, right? Spare a thought for the child self of Mr I'm not sure I would do that job myself, and it might not be the best use of my time. From top left clockwise: 1989. Mark's fifth birthday. Bozo went next door to the kid who had friends' party, to which Mark was not invited. Mark watched from his window every kid leave with a balloon animal, a bag of candy, and a fixed grin from ear to ear, of pure FUN. That Mark was not part of. 1990: Mark's sixth birthday. A repeat of the previous year, except it was raining. Bozo had perfected dolphin balloon animals and this year the kids' grins were even wider. 1993: Mark's cousin's third birthday. The clown yelled at Mark to get the fuck away from the Helium, you mongoloid (it was the time when that was OK to say, just asK Devo), and then yelled at him to stop staring at my dick, and then yelled some more. 1998: Mark third-wheeled a date between a guy who had no money to get into the fair, and a girl who was into the guy. The couple ditched Mark after he paid for them all with lemonade stand money within five minutes, and even the duck toting clown, who clearly saw which way they went, laughed and said "Beats me, creep". 1999: This is Mark, at a karaoke night in Boston. 2000: This is Mark attempting to break into Toastmasters with a clever idea. Entrepreneurial... uh. All these are HILARIOUS EDGY MOTIVATIONAL posters in the Content Moderation department at FB. Someone's altered them for propaganda purposes, probably around those court hearings, to look like albums. As if clowns sell albums. Real slogans, top left clockwise: 1."IT'S JUST TOMATO SAUCE KIDS" 2."YOUR TEARS ARE NOTHING TO THE OCEAN. SMILE" 3."THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU STARTLE ON THE STAIRS. PS. BOO! HA HA JUST KIDDING GET BACK TO WORK - THUMBS UP TO THE SKY RAISE THE ROOF" 4."YOU WON'T EVER SEE BLUE SKY AGAIN BUT THAT'S OK YOU ARE SAFE HERE" 5."THIS IS WHAT BURNOUT LOOKS LIKE. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED FIRED" 6."A DUMMY COULD DO YOUR JOB, SUCK IT UP IT'S DIPPED IN CRACK, NICE!" Ah, Zuck. He gets PTSD, really he does. I dunno. Clowns. brrr.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-25 12:22:19)
It's from a series that included Ripsnorter, Link enlarge for full effect. I think, or is related. Aussie release, dim memories of them both. And yes, I can see the aesthetic appeal.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-11-25 12:18:40)
A tall, incredibly attractive X-Russian agent who talks his way around a toothpick like he's got Astaire slow dancing on his bottom lip. Ah, I've said too much, Gropegrope. Far too much. Cheers, I mean.