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Recent Comments from Brevity Truta

Comment on Caption Contest – 943 (2020-01-08 18:08:09)
When the smoke on the water wears off, but you're in the hell yeah zone all the same.
Comment on 2019 Year In Review (2020-01-01 06:33:41)
Happy New Year all XD I'm kinda bummed I didn't come in at 420. Tiki you asked: Anyone want to suggest how to make people post more? Facebook's not a patch on this place, Tiki. Thanks for what you do. Thanks for the Album galleries especially, Storms. I'm behind on them but not because I've lost interest, not even close. I've just been tied up. Happily, still, I reckon I can do a couple tonight. Jedi, you're a good egg, and funny, too. All of you, in some way or another, even that guy who doesn't read anything. Even Thrawn, who is clearly a Caio multi. I haven't contributed a single image. I tend to think that mine wouldn't be interesting, that I say a lot, so it's kind of a lot for me to start sharing images. Too much Brevity arrghh. I'll share some, knowing you want more. Some. So you can say Geez, that was shared last month, boring. How to get people to come by? Well, you have boobs and vaginas galore, and funny stuff, and some satire and opinions, and are chill so I dunno, maybe it's not a problem? Still, I guess if I knew anyone cool to come by I'd lock them up and make them post until it became a bad habit, y'know? A bad, bad habit. So, duct tape, a bunch of snacks, and drugs. I reckon Storms could be a crack trooper on that front. Kidnapping for the greater good. Steal Zuck's thralls. RIP all those peeps, and especially Grumpy Cat. Cheers guys <3
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-15 07:08:28)
The good old days when ethics committees could be bribed with a bag of weed and a couple of tickets to see The Grateful Dead gave rise to some wacky soft science experiments, several of which are still famous today, and know by the psychologist behind them: Zimbardo, Milgram, Rosenhan. Cerrone should be up there too, for his Social Psychology experiment which asked "Would an otherwise sexy man who completely lacked a lower abdomen, in a basement designed to replicate an all-female cannibal village, be regarded as tasty?" Clockwise from top left: a) Cerrone had to get veterinary doctors to perform the fourteen hour surgery that removed his lower abdomen and spine, and stitched his torso onto his pelvis. Even then the surgical team feared for their licenses, and only agreed to pose in masks for the experimental record (Cerrone hoped to publish in The Journal of Psychiatry, The MCGTTD Journal, and Mad Magazine). That's not a number 3, that's some stray guts, and the dummy - looking thing on the table is Cerrone's Honours student Vicki, taking a nap. It was a long surgery. Cerrone and the veterinary team then recruited six women. There were also seventeen actor stand-ins (not pictured), seven chickens, a goat, and three dogs. The village quickly settled into their assigned roles, with the help of a seventy-two hour isolation session prior to entering the basement, during which they watched Spanish sitcoms non-stop while eating bon bons laced with cocaine and amphetamines. b) "Raya" offered several torso-lengthening garments from the communal wardrobe which she was put in charge of due to her experience in amateur theatre productions. She said Cerrone would look "good enough to eat in this apple-green number" c) "Magdala"'s data was trashed due to the confounding variable of Cerrone's plunging neckline. Magdala was Romanian, and found this too much like an old flame of hers, Vladismov the Inhaler. d) "Mai" and "Su Lin", in charge of the Soup Kitchen, found Cerrone tasty indeed. They swam with him in the inflatable paddling pool-cum-soup tureen for hours, because he reminded them of a tiny water buffalo. Ever heard of Stone Soup? This was their Stoned Soup version, and everybody loved it, even if it did taste a bit like someone had poured a few litres of mountain dew into it. e) "Mrs Jones" thought Cerrone was so tasty she covered him in garnishes (pictured) at every turn. f) "Johere" had a nibble of Cerrone. Here she is ten minutes later, an outlier in the data because she couldn't walk for the entire rest of the experiment. This sounds like a stupid experiment, doesn't it? Cannibal Village? What kind of half-baked hypothesis is that? Where are the ostriches? This is why psychology is called a soft science. Prior to the Cerrone Experiment, psychology was known alongside Physics as a Hard Science. Cerrone's prune fingers and toes after the soup bath meant that he made several errors in his notes, and the whole experiment was rendered void. The scandal, including several participants who got eaten, meant that the whole discipline lost its gold standard unassailable credibility. If not for those soft digits and a few pies, psychology would be sending us to Mars instead of going after gamers for exercising their rights to party. Chaos, baby.
Comment on BAD GIFT IDEA (2019-12-08 17:53:24)
It's all because the traditional housewife tools do not go in a cool shed. If you could solve that problem, including the washing machine and dryer, and the dishwasher and ironing board, and still have it be a cool shed where she could crack a cold one and hide out for whole afternoons, tinkering happily, it'd all be fine and dandy.
Comment on sloth on a goth (2019-12-08 17:47:11)
This is good wholesome humour, made me giggle.
Comment on GROW A GIRLFRIEND (2019-12-08 17:45:39)
Nah, she's just moved her arms to rub her hands all over that juicy body.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-08 17:28:54)
Oho. C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! for tolstoy? I could say - Hang on, chaps, obviously every one of these can be summed up as "Someone Can't Count", including the Faith Singers as that is a spoken word record. and just leave it there. Thing is, I'm not at all a mathematical type. I leave the counting to the maths brain of the outfit. These all read to me as a physics set. True, there's not an elaborate story this time, just as well, go write a book already, but, clockwise from top left: a) The 1974 Lab - 105 team at MIT after successfully applying to a higher power for a grant to continue their research into Boswellian Concurrency, a theory set to revolutionise state-church entanglements. They had exhausted their initial grant identifying them. b) The Basel Amateur Science Laboratories Computer-Aided Enrichment Center Five, pictured here in a zero-G terraforming environment desinged to be used on a Mars mission. Tantric discipline combined with earnestness and beige telluridic plates produced a magnetic meditation field powerful enough to allow astronauts to walk light, upright, and for the water, rocks, trees, and potato plants to all function naturally and not float around making some unholy salad. c) Uniwaka Laboratories - Section F. Ray Guns powered by a pale blue, volatile substance only known as "Ethypropofikkenawesome". The guns could shoot around corners and were designed to fit in an office cubicle drawer, because the quartet were aware that there would be plenty of beaurocracy anywhere humans colonised. d) Patent Claims nyah nyah. Arizona "Cowboys" Area 69 Crew making a bold statement about their 34 Patents, none of which, to date, have made it past the Adult Entertainment Industry. Broader applications may happen, on some distant planet where things are defined in different ways and women don't have boobs. e) Fab Four, Cambridge. Won the Coxed fours sculls 1975 against the blighters from Oxford in record time. Physics? Well, they did construct the boat from duct tape and Dr Who props found in a dumpster out the back of the BBC, and yes, that year Oxford were all sick with a mysterious virus ... look at how innocent they all are, now come on. f) 1976 Argentina Polytechnic Division J-11. Spoken word linguistics combined with these radical outfits allowed them to fly short distances, about ten feet off the ground. The problem was landing, as anyone who's engaged in a conversation with an excited physicist at a faculty wine and cheese do knows - how to shut them up? It's not good expecting an encounter with a solid object to halt the flight. Severe concussions ruined their ability to think, so the problem was never solved. The suits were snapped up on ebay recently by Jeremy Renner. Perhaps there's hope there still for them to be used for good.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-08 10:10:25)
Interesting, shows how little Swedish pop gets out into other markets, doesn't it?
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-08 10:01:31)
The twin Voyager 1 and 2 spacecraft are exploring where nothing from Earth has flown before. Continuing on their more-than-40-year journey since their 1977 launches, they each are much farther away from Earth and the sun than Pluto. In August 2012, Voyager 1 made the historic entry into interstellar space, the region between stars, filled with material ejected by the death of nearby stars millions of years ago. Voyager 2 entered interstellar space on November 5, 2018 and scientists hope to learn more about this region. Both spacecraft are still sending scientific information about their surroundings through the Deep Space Network, or DSN. The primary mission was the exploration of Jupiter and Saturn. After making a string of discoveries there — such as active volcanoes on Jupiter's moon Io and intricacies of Saturn's rings — the mission was extended. Voyager 2 went on to explore Uranus and Neptune, and is still the only spacecraft to have visited those outer planets. The adventurers' current mission, the Voyager Interstellar Mission (VIM), will explore the outermost edge of the Sun's domain. And beyond. [source] Many of us will know that two identical Golden Records (playable phonograph records) were included on the spacecraft. Elon Musk really is a uniquely original thinker with his Tesla Car playing Space Oddity on an endless loop, yes. Then again, sending messages in bottles is as old as people stoppering up an empty coconut with something inside and sending it out onto the tides. Anyway, the Golden records are intended for aliens to listen to and get a sampler of what Earth has to offer. Carl Sagan, visionary scientist, had great hope for what aliens might make of the best we have to offer, from whale songs to recorded brainwaves. There is music on the Golden discs, too, from Bach to Beethoven and Johnny B Goode, a controversial choice at the time. Jeb Mc Connedall, true genius janitor at Cornell where the committee chaired by Sagan was making its selection, overheard a lot of the debates and had serious misgivings about advertising Earth this way. Jeb was so brilliant, resourceful, baked, and concerned, he was able to get to the disks and record six secret tracks the night after they were completed, complete with holographic album covers put together on his souped-up Apple II. This is what he added, clockwise from top left: a) Puss & Kram is a disintegrating Fibonnaci sequential jam about glory holes. Fendox is a word from Vogon poetry that means "sweat-damp satin handkerchiefs" b) Jeb was able to extrapolate the trickle-up effect and here are the world's five richest men with 99% of the world's money, all clones of the one man, pictured singing a song about freedom and sensible workwear, in 2088. Du villa lilla duva is a shifted palindrome meaning "hype" in old Finnish. c) The real German disco act was a co-incidence that Jeb had predicated, and invested in the German music business just before so as to capitalise on what was a banger of a tune, Moscow, Moscow. The version Jeb secret-coded on the Golden Disks was "Moscau - the Wrath of Khan", which he was also a little ahead of his time on, and was all about how flamboyant status display fashion is universal, and we quite like a bit of the camp, too, in a very manly kind of hard science fiction and serious plot development way, of course. d) Jeb invented MS Paint. Oh yes, B52s really should have been on the Golden Disks, Planet Claire anyone? So Jeb included them, singing Planet Claire, except it was him doing all the parts, singing into a hairbrush. he sounded a lot like Kate Pearson, if you squinted and imagined hard. e) The Golden Disks had no country music. What was that all about? Jeb included this one too, a real cry into your beer tune if ever there was one, about wanting to get truckin' on back to Boone Creek. Was Jeb trying to put any aliens off, or encourage them here? He still doesn't know, but he says, from his secret roaming submarine via dolphin sonar and a complex set of cloud patterns that his medium, Ohooroo X reads and shares on her Twitter account @ObscuredbyClouds, that we might as well be a little bit down to earth about what the earth has to offer. Jeb also says that he's happy not to upgrade to a new set of material to send out. Why that is, the dolphins refuse to share.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-08 09:10:55)
Biathalon, pentathalon, triathalon, we're familiar with these. Traditionally, the hexathlon consists of 75m hurdles, long jump, javelin, high jump, shot put and the 800m. This six album set came out in 1984 to commemorate Denmark's unsuccessful Summer Olympics bid for the Games that ran that year. Some might recall that year Los Angeles hosted. Carl Lewis won four golds in track & Field, Brazil set a world record for the 800m, and Carlos Lopes, from Portugal, won the Marathon at the age of 37, with a time of 2:09:21, an Olympic record that stood for 24 years. It was the first gold medal ever for Portugal. Gold medal favorite, World Record holder and the then World Champion, Robert de Castella from Australia, finished in 5th place, 1:48 behind Lopes. I didn't remember all that, it's neat though. Denmark had bid in 1972 along with the USA, the UK, and Argentina, and had been laughed out by the voting committee, having never hosted even a Winter Games. Yes the Winters are full of great sports, better than the Summer in some ways. Still, finding a mountain, putting a few flags up and making icy death chutes by slapping together some planks and watering them with an old hose then saying let's schuss! isn't exactly that hard. And yet, Denmark hadn't even done that. Summer was pretty damn ambitious. Denmark sent 60 athletes to Los Angeles, and returned home with 0 gold, 3 silver and three bronze, coming in a remarkable 27th, which shows how much certain countries naturally dominate in amateur sporting events. This set of six albums was the squad's training regime soundtrack, to hex the competition, to stand in unison against the world that thought they couldn't organize anything since the Viking invasions. Possibly, memory of the Viking invasions was part of the worry about giving it to them. The music also came with the squad on Sony Walkman to the Games. Norgen Huffelstoop wore a Walkman in the Marathon, and can be seen briefly in archival footage ploughing along the streets to these "Fuck You, De Coubertin" patriotic hexathalon works of art. All are real Danish bands that submitted these for the Bid, in 1972, and who hoped to use them as Opening Ceremony acts. Clockwise from top left, the Danish '84 Fuck You de Coubertin Hexathalon, which featured on all the televised and radio coverage in Denmark in 1984: a) Lady Banana was to be the climax of the Opening Ceremony, where the Streaplers would all be shot out of cannons greased with landyfinger bananas, an important detail, as their landing, in the middle of the (as yet unbuilt) stadium, would be slippery, so their cap-gun rivet costumes would spark and flare in random patterns as they danced to right themselves, belting out their great hit, Lady Banana. The scale model the Committee saw really didn't do this justic, and it was a shame the member from France was so weird about it using gerbils in white, riveted jumpsuits. b) Dyke was a slam on the Netherlands and their aggressive dairy industry, considered "Too Political" by the Committee, who didn't even listen to the demo, or look more than a moment at the plans which involved 1,000 schoolkids dressed as cows with windmills up their asses. c) Pajala-Hasses a charming segment for just before the countries all marched out. Germany objected hard to the plan to divert the Danube for the performance. d) Full Pakke - an edgy segment in the opening ceremony where Scandix planned to lay on the stadium track (here seen as a road because that's how pissed the Danes were about all of this) and possibly be run over by Mr Whippy vans while singing about acid rain and aliens. They were not playing with the full pakke. Ah, the danish sense of humour, eh? e) Equestrian element here, with los caracoles opening ceremony act singing while navigating a mock Showjumping course. Los caracoles is Danish for "No we are not South American, and how do you like our Lone Deranger masks?" The Committe kind of loved this, until they realised the water hazard was to be full of electric eels. Issues with customs, you see. f) That's how mad they were. You can get the Danish '84 Fuck You de Coubertin Hexathalon, aka Full Pakke on Spotify, and there's a downloadable PDF of all the Opening Ceremony plans which interesting to look at.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-04 13:50:28)
Might have to come back to this one. That fireplace in bottom right is definitely for something, but what I am not sure I want to know. Could be just a mood, I mean Hello, Joy? Come on.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-04 13:39:04)
Some dudes are just too hot to handle, and one of this was Zap Rowsdower, yes the Zap Rowsdower. Maybe you know him from his middle years, where he was beyond doubt a triple-denim clad badass, putting paid to a cult's evil scheme, saving the world without the world even having to have a moment's awareness about it. If there was any doubt about the trail of wanton destruction he left behind and how much of a badass he was, clockwise from top right, Zap Rowsdower: The South of the Border Years. a) Zap himself, on the road in Arizona, or maybe Michigan, probably there, phew the heat in Michigan. Acid for how he wore his denims, of course. Zap invented acid wash this very day, actually. He spilled battery acid on the jeans pictured here, and rather than taking them off, he ripped the battery out of the campervan and evened up the effect, because he had a date with a cocktail waitress who would not wait. She ended up the night with acid burns all over her butt and hands, and a smile that wouldn't quit, you know the kind with the corners with a mind of their own? despite. b) A young Satoris (before he was a cult leader and tried to make a Final Sacrifice) with one of Zap's broken-hearted ladies who still wanted to show Satoris how special he was by making a sweet record. Zap was ever Satoris' nemesis. c) Zap made Tim Nye, a banker in Wichita, do this, in the hope of getting a brush with the triple denim hunk. The closest Nye had come to cross dressing was decorating the Easter display at the Wichita Third Pentecostal Church, at which he played the organ. One whiff of Zap and Nye was yanking an outfit off the lines in a very seedy part of town. Zap did take Tynne out for a spin on his motorbike, and more besides, but it didn't last. Zap didn't roll that way, no matter how crazed the local organists got, or how good their bacon and flapjacks drowned in syrup were. Tynne's were pretty good, she used fresh maple syrup and a dash of vanilla, just-so. d) Another acid-wash butt happy camper. You couldn't buy acid wash back then and Zap had left his first bespoke pair back with Tynne, lost while making a fast exit in the middle of the night. No Crying Game scene, Tynne had run out of syrup and it no shops were open at that hour. e) These are some of Zap's 783 love children. You thought Bob Marley was the man? Nope, and 563 of Zap's love children became musicians, too, like the ones pictured here. Quantity over quality with the triple denim musical jeans, eh? Frank Zappa made sure none of them used the name, using his Ukrainian mafia connections, which was wise of him. and f) It takes a lot to make a stripper pull this face and pose, but this is exactly what Zap did, on more than one occassion with his strip club tipping style that owed something to sticky maple syrup fingers and a shitton of cash that he got given to leave town, every town, even after being there only a few hours ... the fuck Zap who? Ah, if just one - mhm - of you guys gets it and has a tiny giggle at a tiny part, I'm happy.
Comment on MISFITS (2019-12-04 12:51:27)
"Dig up Her Bones" is one of the greatest fun cobweb-clearer tracks ever recorded.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-04 10:43:35)
Rule 34, folks. Common wisdom has it that "The exact origin of Rule 34 is unknown, though it may have originated from a 2003 webcomic, captioned "Rule #34 There is porn of it. No exceptions.", which was drawn by Peter Morley-Souter to depict his shock at seeing Calvin and Hobbes parody porn." Nope. Rule 34 was a Canadian record label, located in Montreal. They made all their covers porn of something that hitherto wasn't. Clockwise from top left: A) Film Projectionist Society Conference Flyers. Yes, they are a thing and not at all like this. B) Escapology. Think about it, did anyone find Houdini someone to make inneundo about? Nope. Not until Rule 34 made this cover. C) Urban Camouflage and Surveillance, the art of "what the fuck are you looking at, if you get looked at" This is inspired by the chapter in the classic manual "Staying cool around store dummies when they fall on you". D) Trenchtown Cock of the Rock, a popular Jamaican cop-drama TV show. Serious stuff. This cover ruined the guy in the middle's career. The ladies fared better from it. E) Professional Sofa Testing. It's no use just sitting on them, they have to be tested for nonchalance - this one passed with a 3 start rating. See? Ruined by Rule 34. F) Feather Duster Sprint Races (a popular Sunday activity for the house staff on large country estates in England). I'd say Blame Canada, but no, that's a terrible groanworthy old propaganda song isn't it and there's lovely bits in Canada good lord yes, and who doesn't enjoy a bit of Rule 34, in some way shape or form? Hopefully that helps explain, too, Jedi.
Comment on ALBUMS (2019-12-04 10:12:23)
Japan's well-known for many curious and wonderful inventions, among them sampuru ???? (ah it didn't like the characters), the fake food models that you see in restaurant windows, among other places. Sampuru have been around for more than a hundred years. Originally made from wax, they are now of course made from plastic. It is a lesser-known fact that a sampuru master, Keiji Nakamore, emigrated to New York in the 1950s and took up a job designing sleeves for a small label, Jivebug Records. Keiji was in high demand in japan for his exquisite sampuru, but once he had perfected the deceptively simple onigiri rice ball, there was nothing but a kind of zennui for him. Fortunately for the art of album covers, Keiji had enough money to go to New York, and had not seen Breakfast at Tiffany's to put any inaccurate ideas in his head about shopping, cats, and apartment living. He got the job with Jivebug on the strength of his sampuru portfolio, and a great deal of charisma. Speaking of charisma, these were the days before musicians had to look anything like how they did in pictures, not like today. Sometimes, musicians were so unkempt, hungover, high, badly-dressed, drooling, or just plain dead that they made for terrible publicity shots. Keiji solved this issue for Jivebug records (moving to RCA in '78 for five times the money), using his skills. All of these covers are sampuru. It's a bit of a shame this gallery is not chronological, following the development of the art Keiji playfully called "bandpuru". We'll jump around, as a result. 1) I've never been sorry, for the band "Helen" was Keiji's first bandpuru. Helen were rude, if talented, Irish folk playing bastards who had never been in a field before, and had never been sorry for anything. They were not sorry for all getting into a bar fight and ruining their faces for the album shoot. This was well before that would have been acceptable to have on a cover. Jivebug knew this might happen, Helen got in a lot of bar fights, not just over their girly name, which they had on purpose to fight over. Keiji worked in 1:27 scale, in wax. Everything here is wax, down to the tiny sunglasses and the grass. 2 + 3) Fuchs - off (yeah we're all thinking that). The scale of this one's a bit off. A nod to wabi-sabi, a big nod. Likewise with JD Sumner, both made around the same week, both acts that were plain cheaper to sampuru than to co-ordinate into a studio shoot. 4) Heatwave - Happy Rennsday. Yes, Jeremy Renner had extensive plastic surgery to look the way he does, based on how much joy this album brought to him as a lad. He was delighted to discover recently this was a bandpuru and had not been melted down, though it was a little lint-covered and needed some TLD to bring up to original condition. This is in Renner's living room in a glass case. Also yes it's a bit obvious it's not quite perfect to-scale, more wabi-sabi and a little of a coke habit creeping in for Keiji. He used fabric for the costumes, too, just the flares, and the tiny watch is from a christmas cracker, still, Heatwave were happy, no way were they going to get into those outfits, even if that's what the disco boogie crowd of Renner's ilk were screaming for. The Renner guy in the band looked nothing like this, by the way. Keiji modelled him on a pizza delivery guy named Steve who was a regular face at RCA New York. 5) Room to grow. This was right before a long stint for Keiji in rehab. The band liked the cover, seeings they were all really fourteen year old kids and used the proofs to make fake IDs that totally worked. 6) Majesty. Post rehab, reflecting how Keiji felt. This one's made from plastic, not wax. The rocks may have been raw heroin, true, but the was well out of rehab for the unfortunate coke habit. Keiji made dozens of bandpuru over the years, and retired in 2001. He was well-known in the early hip hop scene in New York, and was instrumental in those classic releases being called Dope on Plastic and the common term "scratching wax". None of the artists he hung out with used his bandpuru services, but he had a lot of charisma and a certain way with the rock business.