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  • Doctor Who (2023) Poster

    DEEP SPACE WAIFU

    Discover your perfect WAIFU amidst explosions! This is a simple SUPER CASUAL strip ’em up action game, full of colors and women! Destroy alien colonies and do some CLOTH DAMAGE in giant women! Seek your path to the perfect date! Just remember – Girls will be watching.

    A surprisingly competent bullet hell game with a lurid concept, but it fails to directly deliver on the lurid part of it’s promise, at least until you manually add an empty file to the installation directory to “patch” the nudity back into the game, This of course is obscene in how they hide their obscenity and is offensive that you’d have to go through all those hoops just to actually see what you paid to see.

    I’d recommend it, just as long as you know you have to do some minor hacking to get what you want from the game. I played about 5 hours and was able to get all the achievements, of which there are 69 of them, giggity.

    CAMARO

    “No Hard Feelings” Review

    No Hard Feelings: Directed by Gene Stupnitsky. With Jennifer Lawrence, Andrew Barth Feldman, Laura Benanti, Matthew Broderick. On the brink of losing her home, Maddie finds an intriguing job listing: helicopter parents looking for someone to bring their introverted 19-year-old son out of his shell before college. She has one summer to make him a man or die trying.

    Movies about people having sex with other people under false pretense have largely fallen out of favor with the general public, largely due to the implication that it’s actually a rape and if you lie to someone to have sex with them, there’s a level of evilness in you that’s unforgivable. I think in their sense of nostalgia for a movie formula that worked pretty well back in the 1980’s everyone lost sight of the conclusions of the current zeitgeist. The basic premise of the film is just that, she’s a 32 year old woman that’s being paid by the parents of a 19 year old that’s recently graduated from high school but has failed to have sex with an actual human being. There’s a couple scenes (including the entire first ‘mixer’ scene) that brush up against the honest truth that this type of thing is just fine and that the main character played by Jennifer Lawrence is wrong in nearly every aspect of her social stances. To be clear, I knew plenty of dudes that had limited sexual experience before they made it to college and they did just fine with the ladies (or other fellas) if that was what they wanted to do. A few of them straight up were uninterested in pursuing romantic interests, which is just fine. No one needed to be ‘fixed’ by having sex with a uber driver that’s nearly twice their age.

    There’s some really funny or poignant scenes in the film, it’s a shame they’re encapsulated in such a problematic film.

    Buy On Amazon!

    CRINGE

    NASH

    SHOULD BE IN HELL

    DRAGSTER

    NO

    TRUCK

    MERCURY

    Goofy’s Betrayal

    Elizabeth Olsen


  • PHEW

    RAPTURED

    JOAN JETT

    SEXY

    DODGE

    “Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire” Review

    Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire: Directed by Zack Snyder. With Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Ed Skrein, Michiel Huisman. When a peaceful settlement on the edge of a distant moon finds itself threatened by the armies of a tyrannical ruling force, a mysterious stranger living among its villagers becomes their best hope for survival.

    Zack Snyder is back in another undeniably Zack Snyder film which features all the things that Snyder is well known for: slow motion, plot elements that swing for the fences, over the top action scenes, and enough dangling story threads that would require another 15 films just to wrap them all up. It’s an obvious science fiction take on the well loved and remade Magnificent Seven / Battle of the Planets formula in which our primary hero must put together a ragtag team of unlikely heroes to defend a small village from an evil force. In this case there’s a galactic empire that’s looking to get some food from a tiny little farm, and the tiny little farm has only rifles to defend itself, while the empire has spaceships with planet busting weapons, so there’s a large leap of logic that needs to be taken in order to enjoy the rest of the film. There’s no one point where the film actually fails to visually entertain, just don’t mind the plot or dialogue too much and you’ll likely have a good time.

    Do be warned though, this is half the story. The other half comes out in April of 2024.

    Buy On Amazon!

    ROADSTER

    Jewel Staite

    SNOW

    WALL

    TREE

    Recuse

    THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

    iLoveToBuildIHateToTest

    Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver



    Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver: Directed by Zack Snyder. With Sofia Boutella, Ed Skrein, Jena Malone, Charlie Hunnam. Kora and surviving warriors prepare to defend Veldt, their new home, alongside its people against the Realm. The warriors face their pasts, revealing their motivations before the Realm’s forces arrive to crush the growing rebellion.

    OPEN CARRY

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