Would you put a T-Rex on YOUR ark?

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Say that you though god was going to blow up / flood the world, and he had chosen you to go out and take up a pair of each animal. Would you take a T-Rex? or how about a pair of Raptors? I know everyone thinks they’re all cuddly and shit, but lemme tell you, after the honey moon, life gets rough.

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  • No Means…..whoa!

    “No means
    Eat me out first.”

    Yeah baby!

    What would MacGyver do

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    Just what would MacGyver do? Make some kind of cool shit outta a toilet paper roll and some bailing wire! That’s what!

    Serenity / Firefly Movie Posters

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    I simply cannot belive that I haven’t purchased this movie yet. /sigh being poor does suck sometimes, yeah?

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    Super Puppy!

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    This is somewhat funny, because I have a dog that has the same kind of floppy ears. I think it would be hilarious if I threw him around and his ears did this, but unfortunately, he weighs in at 50 pounds. Not exactly a small sack of potatoes to be tossed about! What a flying puppy!

    Tom was delicious

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    Ok, we’ve all seen the “missing cat/dog/gerbil” contact me if you find him /sob/sob/sob posters on telephone poles and various walls and alleyways. This is rather funny though: over one of these missing posters for a cat named “Tom”, someone’s put a sheet of paper that says “your cat was delicious” and “tom was delicous”. This is rofl funny, yes?

    You do not have permission to access to /girl on this server

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    A parody on 404 error :
    “Forbidden
    You don’t have permission to access /girl on this server.”

    What would Cthulhu Do?

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    In car / In window A/C!

    AC
    Let’s talk about ghetto. Not only is that a window A/C unit in this dude’s car, but that’s a damn generator strapped to the truck.

    Jesus! WTF

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    There are christmas lights on the 5th story of a building (dorm perhaps) that spell out “Jesus”. Might be a religous celebration, or maybe an exclamation of dorm pleasures. Either way, the people on the 2nd floor are somewhat mystified, so they’ve put up their own christmas lights that spell out “WTF”.

    pure comedy genius!

    Free Cat!

    Another oldie but goodie :

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    Free cat!

    Nudist Beach

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    NUDIST BEACH

    Fat chicks prohibited beyond this point

    Steam Punk Claw Glove

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    I have no explanation for this device, but I think it’s cool as fuck.

    Mars panorama

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    From a mars panorama pictures website. Pretty cool stuff, I just made one of them my desktop.

    And on a side note, the author of that site is on crack. He’s boasting about firefox (only the best broswer in the known world) and crackin on IE, while at the same time, displaying one of the worse choices in webpage colors and fonts I’ve seen in a long while. I’m surprised he didn’t use the blink tag anywhere.

    Windows Sex Vs Mac Sex

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    Windows Users like to look at sex on their computers.

    Mac Users Like to have sex with their computers.

    Ha!

    Sure! You can have my mp3s…

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    “Sure! You can have my mp3s…

    …after you pry ’em from
    my cold, dead hands”

    Which is how I feel too! Of course, most ‘legal’ MP3s these days come with some wonderfully craptastic features like DRM (itunes? why would I want something that won’t let me play my music where ever I want to?) Which is why I use www.mp3tunes.com to upload all my stuff, listen to it where ever I want, and not worry about losing 10 grand in music investments. not that I’ve paid for much of my music mind you…commonbits/creative commons is a godsend, yes?

    Buddy Jesus

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    It’s the buddy jesus from the brain farts over at ViewAskew

    iCrap

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    ICrap.

    Looks so good you won’t notice the smell.

    “If it’s colorful,
    We’re trying to sell it to you!”

    Punch to the face…over TCP/IP

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    Dear Lord,
    Please grant me the
    ability to punch
    people in the face
    over standard TCP/IP.


  • Unattended Children

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    “Unattended Children will be given an espresso and a free puppy”

    It took me a bit to figure this one out, then I remembered my grandparents always giving me coffee with 4 scoops of sugar right before my parents picked me up…guess it was revenge!

    Hey Middle America!

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    Yeah!

    Da Evil Monkey!

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    I like the monkey from Family Guy. I really do! He reminds me of a certain political figure, teehee!

    Batman’s Rogue Gallery

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    Dick Cheney as the Penguin
    Donald Rumsfeld as the Riddler
    Conilisa Rice as the Catwoman
    and
    George W. Bush as the Joker

    Tom Cruise Knows All!!

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    This is in reference to the interview that Tom Cruise gave, in which he claimed that he had researched the history of psychiatry, and that it was all evil. Not that he’s wrong, but geez man, you’re too hard core.

    Spider-man is gay! oh wait….

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    Ok, so maybe he isn’t so gay this time, good job spider-dude!

    War Criminal!

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    Is he or isn’t he?

    Sobriety Test

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    If this looks right to you, you’re drunk.

    you damn alcholholic

    Turn off the sarcasm!

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    Sarcasm Off!

    Kool Aid Man kicks ass!

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    God, kool aid is the sheit.

    Big Boom!

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    A rather impressive picture (painted? Real? who knows!) of a nukleur blast. (as GW would say)

    Don’t Worry. I’m From the Internet 2/2

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    Don’t Worry Sir.

    I’m from the internet.

    Don’t Worry. I’m From the Internet 1/2

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    Don’t worry Ma’am.

    I’m from the internet.

    What Would Jesus Do?

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    What would Jesus bomb? (Iraq!)

    Spider-Man Is Gay. No Really. Homosexual

    04

    Hahaha, spider-man is teh ghey

    Gir 404 Error Screen

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    This came from a fark thread about customizing and tweaking firefox (which everyone should have, if you don’t get it now)

    “Server not found
    Firefox can’t find the server at 222.giristheruleroferath.com

    Check the address for typing errors such as ww.example.com instead of worldwideweb dot example dot com instead of www.example.com.

    If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer’s network connection for loose wires, shorts, or potential fire hazards.

    If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure that firefox is premitted to access the Web, you naughty person you.

    Sometimes the computer just doesn’t feel like loading the page. Talk to it gently, and only use the threat of physical force as a last resort.

    Use of actualy force may violate your warranty.

    >>Try, Try Again

    The Super Savior!

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    Did someone say beefy? It’s Christ on the cross all buffed up and meaty. Look at those abs! I could iron a shirt on them! OMG the savior is hawt.

    Pictures from the UK’s explosion

    Ok, on a not so funny note, but incredibly interesting (morbid I guess) here’s some picture’s I’ve found of the petrol storage station in the UK that went nova:

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    hemelhempsteadfirefark27ih

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    Batmobile’s lost it’s wheel!

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    Ok, for those of you who are scratching your heads, this is to the tune of “Jingle Bells”:

    Jingle Bells,
    Batman Smells,
    Robin Laid an egg!
    The Batmobile’s lost it’s wheel,
    And the Joker got away…

    Should be the last from the fine folks at Threadless

    You Sank My Battleship!

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    From the fine folks at Threadless

    Vader’s Shrubs

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    From the fine folks over at Threadless

    Evolution…NO!

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    From the new game “Bad Day LA

    Mmm! Mmm! That’s some good poopin!

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    Mmm Mmm!

    That’s Some GOOD Poopin’!

    From www.questionablecontent.net (one of the world’s greatest webcomics ever!) He’s selling this as a poster for 12 bucks. I just ordered 1 for my own apartment, and so should YOU!

    Real Life Warning Sticker

    Before-You-Go

    WARNING:

    You are about to leave this place of safety, and venture into the world that lies beyond this door. You are going into a world of liars, hypocrites, murderes and thieves; of people who don’t care who you are, what you think or why you’re here. You are going to fight for your life when you open this door; with morons and sycophants, tin dictators, and heels, political vampires and religious fanatics. Beyond this oasis of dignity and strength lies the insanity of the uncaring, the foolish arrogance of youth and the dreadful waste of the aged. Ninety nine percent of the people you meet out there will act like fools and morons in your presence; like mindless, heartless hulks of animated protoplam whose only concern and singular goal is to destroy you. Once Outside, they will wrest your self respect from you, rip out your soul and tear your dreams to shreads. They will laugh at your opinions, gloat over your shortcomings, and delight in your destruction. Out there is misery, sorrow and sickness to awesome and frightening to be understood, too horrible to be imagined.

    Have A Nice Day!

    🙂

    WTF, H4X!!11!

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    WTF H4X

    As seen on fark.

    The original without caption is after the cut.

    (more…)

    The Dry Drunk

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    “The Dry Drunk: Starring George W. Bush and Jim Beam”Some men are more dangerous AFTER they stop Drinking.

    From the good ol’ boys over at www.oldamericancentury.org