G.W. Speach Checklist
My Spech Cheklist
By G.W.
Terrerist
911
Mor Terrer
Mor 911
Fear
Stay The Course
The Tech Support Caller Warning System
| Low Stupidity Condition | Signifies a caller offers little or no risk of causing the tech a cranial aneurysm. This is usually a calller who understand that most technical “secrets” are cleverly concealed in the mysterious things called “manuals.” Recommendation: Cherish these ones. |
| Suspicious Stupiditity Condition | Signifies a caller who is suspected of weapons-grade stupidity, without any real evidence. Recommendation: Send “inspectors.” |
| Elevated Stupidity Condition | Indicates a significant risk of stroke in the tech cause by a caller who insist that “there is no ‘any key’ on the keyboard” and that “there’s no way I can click on ‘you computer’ from over here.”Recommendation: Slow Breating exercisiese and a good punching bag. |
| High Stupidity Condition | Indicates a high risk of an apoplectic fit. callers insist that their operating system is “netscape,” their web browser is by “Logitech” and the specific application that blew up on them is “Microsoft.” (Heh) Recommendation: Join a Zen Monastery |
| Severe Stupidity Condition | Indicates the highest risk possible. Adrenaline overload and renal failure caused by callers who angrily state that they have a degree and are in fact very clever, and that the tech must “hop to it and fix things.” When asked to “open a window” they do in fact get up and open a window. Alas. Recommendation: a large bludgeoning instrument. For you or them, it’s really your choice. |
From our friends over at User Friendly
Satellite Picture of Kennedy Space Center
I believe this is from Google Earth, but I’m not sure…either way, this is the Kennedy Space Center down here in Florida. You can see the crawler (upper left on the roadway) that transports the fully assembled shuttle from the hanger bay to the launch pad. I’ve been to the space center a couple times, and while it’s damn interesting, it can be boring, because the place is simply so damn huge, and much of it is offlimits now. (thank you terrorists!)
Mountain go BOOM.
With recent news of volcano blowing up, I figured a kickass picture one one cooking off was in order.
Iraqi Sandstorm
Found this out in the vast wasteland that is the internet. I remember seeing this picture back when it was new, and there was a whole series of them. This is some serious stormage, but I wonder how it compares to a hurricane? It somewhat reminds me of the opening scenes of “ID4: Independence Day” where the alien spaceships are coming down, and the clouds are billowing towards the earth. On here, it’s mother nature that’s rolling across the desert, and she can be much more of a bitch then any spaceheaded aliens.
[EDIT]:
Look at that, my first double post! Looks like I had this up before.
Redneck Pacifier
So, I’ve heard it all before, kids should not be an extention of their parent’s ill humor towards humanity, but this is simply too good to pass by. If/when I have kids, they will surely have pacifiers much like this one.
Go Break Yo Self Fool!
“If it’s hard to grasp
why disable people
need this space,
WE SUGGEST:
Go and break
your fucking spine.”
Sounds painful, but makes a good point. My office has a window overlooking the parking lot, and the handicapped spot is right by me. You have no idea how many times I see rather spry looking people jumping out of their cars.
Love you long time!
“I will not love
you long time”
A rather disgruntled lookin gal here, eh? The t-shirt is a response to the classic “Full Metal Jacket” line.
Would you put a T-Rex on YOUR ark?
Say that you though god was going to blow up / flood the world, and he had chosen you to go out and take up a pair of each animal. Would you take a T-Rex? or how about a pair of Raptors? I know everyone thinks they’re all cuddly and shit, but lemme tell you, after the honey moon, life gets rough.
What would MacGyver do
Just what would MacGyver do? Make some kind of cool shit outta a toilet paper roll and some bailing wire! That’s what!
Serenity / Firefly Movie Posters
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Movies, Space
I simply cannot belive that I haven’t purchased this movie yet. /sigh being poor does suck sometimes, yeah?
Super Puppy!
This is somewhat funny, because I have a dog that has the same kind of floppy ears. I think it would be hilarious if I threw him around and his ears did this, but unfortunately, he weighs in at 50 pounds. Not exactly a small sack of potatoes to be tossed about! What a flying puppy!
Tom was delicious
Ok, we’ve all seen the “missing cat/dog/gerbil” contact me if you find him /sob/sob/sob posters on telephone poles and various walls and alleyways. This is rather funny though: over one of these missing posters for a cat named “Tom”, someone’s put a sheet of paper that says “your cat was delicious” and “tom was delicous”. This is rofl funny, yes?
You do not have permission to access to /girl on this server
A parody on 404 error :
“Forbidden
You don’t have permission to access /girl on this server.”
In car / In window A/C!
Let’s talk about ghetto. Not only is that a window A/C unit in this dude’s car, but that’s a damn generator strapped to the truck.
Jesus! WTF
There are christmas lights on the 5th story of a building (dorm perhaps) that spell out “Jesus”. Might be a religous celebration, or maybe an exclamation of dorm pleasures. Either way, the people on the 2nd floor are somewhat mystified, so they’ve put up their own christmas lights that spell out “WTF”.
pure comedy genius!
Mars panorama
From a mars panorama pictures website. Pretty cool stuff, I just made one of them my desktop.
And on a side note, the author of that site is on crack. He’s boasting about firefox (only the best broswer in the known world) and crackin on IE, while at the same time, displaying one of the worse choices in webpage colors and fonts I’ve seen in a long while. I’m surprised he didn’t use the blink tag anywhere.
Windows Sex Vs Mac Sex
Windows Users like to look at sex on their computers.
Mac Users Like to have sex with their computers.
Ha!
Sure! You can have my mp3s…
“Sure! You can have my mp3s…
…after you pry ’em from
my cold, dead hands”
Which is how I feel too! Of course, most ‘legal’ MP3s these days come with some wonderfully craptastic features like DRM (itunes? why would I want something that won’t let me play my music where ever I want to?) Which is why I use www.mp3tunes.com to upload all my stuff, listen to it where ever I want, and not worry about losing 10 grand in music investments. not that I’ve paid for much of my music mind you…commonbits/creative commons is a godsend, yes?
iCrap
ICrap.
Looks so good you won’t notice the smell.
“If it’s colorful,
We’re trying to sell it to you!”
Punch to the face…over TCP/IP
Dear Lord,
Please grant me the
ability to punch
people in the face
over standard TCP/IP.
Unattended Children
“Unattended Children will be given an espresso and a free puppy”
It took me a bit to figure this one out, then I remembered my grandparents always giving me coffee with 4 scoops of sugar right before my parents picked me up…guess it was revenge!
Hey Middle America!
Tags:Humor, Middle Finger, Politics
Yeah!
Da Evil Monkey!
I like the monkey from Family Guy. I really do! He reminds me of a certain political figure, teehee!
Batman’s Rogue Gallery
Tags:Comic Books, Humor, Politics
Dick Cheney as the Penguin
Donald Rumsfeld as the Riddler
Conilisa Rice as the Catwoman
and
George W. Bush as the Joker
Tom Cruise Knows All!!
This is in reference to the interview that Tom Cruise gave, in which he claimed that he had researched the history of psychiatry, and that it was all evil. Not that he’s wrong, but geez man, you’re too hard core.
Big Boom!
A rather impressive picture (painted? Real? who knows!) of a nukleur blast. (as GW would say)
Gir 404 Error Screen
Tags:Comic Books, Movies, Television
This came from a fark thread about customizing and tweaking firefox (which everyone should have, if you don’t get it now)
“Server not found
Firefox can’t find the server at 222.giristheruleroferath.com
Check the address for typing errors such as ww.example.com instead of worldwideweb dot example dot com instead of www.example.com.
If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer’s network connection for loose wires, shorts, or potential fire hazards.
If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure that firefox is premitted to access the Web, you naughty person you.
Sometimes the computer just doesn’t feel like loading the page. Talk to it gently, and only use the threat of physical force as a last resort.
Use of actualy force may violate your warranty.
>>Try, Try Again
The Super Savior!
Did someone say beefy? It’s Christ on the cross all buffed up and meaty. Look at those abs! I could iron a shirt on them! OMG the savior is hawt.
Pictures from the UK’s explosion
Ok, on a not so funny note, but incredibly interesting (morbid I guess) here’s some picture’s I’ve found of the petrol storage station in the UK that went nova:
