Employees Are Required To Wash Genitals Before Returning To Work

Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott

Stolen from Ubergeeks:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT :

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses, and run my business What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on “START…”

Cthulhu Groupies

Test Opposites Section

Where do you unload it?

(more…)

Final History On Iraq

Weed Bunny

Kitty Heart

Jack Thompson CCG

Oral T-Shirt

Now Everyone Knows

Condi-Vampi

Day Clock

You’re A Liberal

Rumsfeld is incompetent

Post-It Notes

I’d Tap That Ass

Lawful Chaos

Princess Leia Cosplayers

The Many Sides of Dubya

Straight Out Of Lynwood

Hello Kitty 40k

Harry Potter Class Photo

Emo Bear

Halo 2 High Resolution

Leeroy Jenkins School of Raid Management

Starbucks: Ruler of the Universe

Lego Aircraft Carrier

Holy crap, that’s a lot of legos, and an awesome sight.

Smoking smells like what?

Firefly Goofy Fucks

Determination

Russian Micho

I wonder if all cats in Russia have to wear those little outfits

He actually looks pretty calm about the whole thing!

Appalachia: lily white excitement!

6000 SUX: An American Tradition

John F. Kennedy Was A Liberal

“If by a ‘Liberal’ they mean
someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who
welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who
cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their
housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights,
and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can
break through the stalemate and suspicions
that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean
by a ‘Liberal,’ then I’m proud to say I’m a ‘Liberal.'”John F. Kennedy, Democrat

Cthulhu’s Wellformed

The Internet: On Disk

MooseKnuckle

This is wrong on so many levels, but it’s d#mn funny.

Fox News: Watch it you Commie scum!

Democrats Are Sexy

P-90 : The Stargate Weapon of Choice

Big Glass Bong

Halo 2 High Resolution

Has Anyone Seen My Bike?

Nice Stargate

Warhammer 40k Chaos Marine

Optimus Prime Died for YOUR sins!

Darth Vader’s Sandwich Making Skills Are LEET

Oh Hi, I Upgraded Your RAM

Toilet Mech