Sometimes, a man’s only friend
Tags:Cute As Hell Animals, Sad :(
The Xtacles
Amazing show full of win that never saw more than two episodes. How AS canned this yet kept Tim and Eric for four seasons is beyond me…
Fourth of July
Tags:Fourth Of July, Vertical Wallpaper
Albino Squirrel
This little guy used to live on campus at my school, but then he got eated up by a hawk.
Ray Ban RB3357 – gunmetal frame with brown gradient lense
Found these in lost and found at my work.
Worth about $140!
www.ray-ban.com/usa/products/rb3357/004-51
I am a conservative!
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Coyote
The Alberta Government and the Alberta Forest Service were
presenting an alternative to Alberta ranchers for controlling the
coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a ‘more humane’ solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Alberta Ranching Association and Farming Association by the Alberta
Government and the Alberta Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of
minutes. Finally, one of the old boys in the back of the conference
room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, ‘Son, I don’t think you
understand our problem.
Those coyotes ain’t fuckin’ our sheep…..they’re eatin’ ’em!’
The Man at Burning Man
Tags:Art, Vertical Wallpaper
Wonder Woman Megan Fox
Tags:Comic Books, Megan Fox, Movies, Sexy
I like it!
Poor Doug
Doug sat at the bar drowning his sorrows — he’d had a bad day. First, his wife left him for a phys-ed teacher and he found his car had been keyed in the middle of the night. When he arrived at work, he was told his job had been made redundant and he was no longer needed. To top it all off, his doctor’s office called with his test results; Doug had herpes. Probably from the phys-ed teacher.
And so Doug was pounding shots of tequila between sobs. A man sitting at the other end of the bar watched him intently for a few minutes before weaving his way carefully to Doug’s stool.
“Buddy, you look like you’re having a hell of a day,” he slurred.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Doug replied, sniffling.
“Let me cheer you up,” the man said. “I want to show you something.”
The drunk man led Doug over to a window and pointed to the alley four floors below. He explained that the way the buildings were built allowed a thermal to rush up the alley whenever a subway train went by underground. This thermal, the man insisted, was so powerful that it would hold a man in the air and gently lower him to the ground as it dissipated.
“So basically, you’d feel like you were flying,” the man finished.
Doug expressed his disbelief and the man said he’d prove it. He waited until a train rumbled by and leaped out the window. Unbelievably, the man hovered serenely just outside the window before floating slowly toward the ground. As he regained his footing, he looked up at Doug and yelled, “Now you try it!”
Doug waited a few minutes until he could hear a train. He climbed up onto the window sill, took a deep breath, jumped… and plummeted to his death on the concrete below, screaming all the way.
A waitress happened to be walking by and poked her head out the window only to see the drunk man standing over Doug’s spattered remains, giggling to himself. She grimaced and called down to him, “Superman, you are SUCH a prick when you’re drinking.”
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Reeves & Swayze Skydiving
Tags:Movies, Point Break, Wallpaper
Point Break
blonde handyman
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Other photos I made
and am fairly proud of.
From top to bottom, they’re in the order they’ve been made.
Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active
# Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.
# Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
# Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”
# Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
# Granny found cuffed to her walker.
# Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
# Your “Grandma” is Anna Nicole Smith.
# You’ve just seen the photos in the “Beaver Hunt” section of Hustler.
# Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.
# Kraft-matic Adjustable Bed set for “doggy style.”
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Anti-Venom
Tags:Comic Books, The Punisher, Venom
So for those who arent caught up in the comic world; long story short, Eddie Brock got ditched by the symbiote (or however you spell it) and then it turns out hes able to develop his own venom powers without the symbiote. So now hes good, again, as Anti-Venom. What do my fellow nerds think of this development?
