Republican Christian
A man is walking through the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front of the little girl’s screaming parents.
The man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the man returns her to her terrified parents.
A New York Times reporter has seen the whole scene and says to the rescuer. ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life, he says.
‘Why, it was nothing, the man says. ‘Really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lion’s den long, long ago. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right.â€
‘I noticed a bible in your pocket — are you a republican? asked the journalist.
‘Yes, and I’m a christian on my way to a bible study, the man replies.
‘Well, I’ll make sure this act won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist and tomorrow’s paper will have this on the front page, he says before leaving.
The following morning the man buys a copy of the New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on first page:
‘Right Wing Republican Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His Lunch.â€
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Midget Fucker
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, ‘You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again! Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, ‘Take it easy Dear, Can’t you see I’m trying to taper off ?
– Thur Jan 15 – Lefturn’s Funny Shit
from Tiki Humor.com
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Would you like to dance?
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, ‘Would you like to dance? The girl haughtily says, ‘I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with a fuck like of you. The guy says, ‘I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants. — Fri Dec 26 – Lefturn’s Funny Shit
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Pimp Ass Coffin
Tags:Cars, Dark Humor, Sad :(, WTF
Blind Man Vs Pissing Dog
A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the man’s leg. As the dog finished, the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a nasty deed.
The blind man replied, ‘Oh I’m not rewarding him, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass.
– DeadDog » DeadDog Archive » Blind Man
Krampus, companion of St. Nicholas
A man dressed as a Krampus, traditionally the companion of St. Nicholas who might dole out punishment to bad children. One of Austria\’s unique Advent traditions, this man is seen as a part of a Krampus procession in the city of Unken, Austria on Friday, Dec. 5, 2008.
Khorne
I killed thousands for him and all he gave me was his damning silence. Now his lapdogs weep for every life I take and my Gods promise me the galaxy…
