Rude Conductor
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
from tikiwebgroup.com
Please go rate this post on TikiHumor.
Please add your own jokes.
Anneliese Van Der Pol
Tags:Anneliese Van Der Pol, Sexy
Plus sideboob!
Artist Commissions
Tags:Awesome Things, Comic Books, Humor
hard core drinker
The driver hit the left turn light and sheared off the light post at the base, and then kept driving on about 2 miles to Squires Four Pub in BC, where he stopped for more beer.
The truck was towed about 2.5 miles to the Vernon, BC towing yard, with the light still pinched between the two tow hooks and the bumper bent around it
It took several good hard pulls with a backhoe to get the pole free.
2009 US Spending
Looks like Social Security and Medicare are close behind in 09. In 05 (under the Shrub) they were HIGHER.
Busytown
I\’m in the dark, I\’d like to read his book
But I\’m frightened of the things I might learn
Oh, there must be something he\’s thinking of
to write this way-ay-ay
When I tell him that I\’m Huckle Cat
why does he say-a-ay
Bubbles don\’t pop
Tags:Awesome Things, Science!
Hitler Beer
Tags:Alcohol, Dark Humor, WTF
This guy was sitting in front of my Nazi neighbour’s house and he had these Hitler beer bottles so I asked if I could buy one. He was sceptical at first and asked why. I said I think they’re pretty and that way I’ll have something to punish myself with, for not being Aryan, he laughed and gave me one for free. They’re from Italy and it’s actually illegal to own these here in Austria.
Modern American Gothic
Tags:American Gothic, Gas Masks, WTF
Shinkansen Bullet Trains
Tags:Awesome Things, Technology
Safety
Always remember to um… think safety when participating in water sports…. this guy needs help…
Lifestyle Acronyms
Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.
The first guy says I’m a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.
The second guy says ‘I’m a D.I.N.K, you know Double Income, No Kids.
The third guy says, I’m a R.U.B, you know Rich, Urban, Biker.
They turn to the woman and ask her, What are you?
She replies: I’m a WIFE, you know
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.
fatal contact – bird flu in america
Tags:Movie Posters, Movies, WTF
Let’s do 68
While making love, a husbands says to his wife Honey, let’s do 68!
She asks ’68? What’s that?
He replies ‘You do it to me and I’ll owe you one.
atheist symbol
I’ve yet to find an atheist symbol that I’m happy with, but this is the closest I can get.
I got 99 problems but a breach aint 1
Tags:Forum Fodder, Humor, Star Trek
