charitable lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”
The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Dominos 420 deal.
Tags:Advertisements, Drugs, Food, Humor
Hrm…
grandma is 105!
wow. i am amazed every time i look at this–it was taken last month on her 105th birthday.
Escaped Prisoner’s Choice
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
from tikiwebgroup.com
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Please add your own jokes.
Activated Full Size Gundam Robot Looks Totally, Absofrikinlutely ZOMG!
Source: www.pinktentacle.com/2009/06/gundam-night-pics/
brooks ketchup
its the landmark, telling you that you’ve just entered collinsville, illinois. that’s alotta ketchup!
WTF Carrot
Tags:Food, Vertical Wallpaper, Wallpaper, WTF
I didn’t know they made carrots like this. Apparently this is a carrot flower that you’re not supposed to get in seed packs. Taken from my garden.
Grammatik Macht Frei
Tags:Forum Fodder, Grammar, Humor
Tempest in a Teapot
Explanation: Is this picture worth a thousand words? According to the Holographic Principle, the most information you can get from this image is about 3 x 10^65 bits for a normal sized computer monitor. The Holographic Principle, yet unproven, states that there is a maximum amount of information content held by regions adjacent to any surface. Therefore, counter-intuitively, the information content inside a room depends not on the volume of the room but on the area of the bounding walls. The principle derives from the idea that the Planck length, the length scale where quantum mechanics begins to dominate classical gravity, is one side of an area that can hold only about one bit of information. The limit was first postulated by physicist Gerard ‘t Hooft in 1993. It can arise from generalizations from seemingly distant speculation that the information held by a black hole is determined not by its enclosed volume but by the surface area of its event horizon. The term “holographic” arises from a hologram analogy where three-dimension images are created by projecting light though a flat screen. Beware, other people looking at the above image may not claim to see 3 x 1065 bits — they might claim to see a teapot.
APOD
More tha 20 words? Take that sucka!
Let me feed you pasta!
This jolly fellow stands in front of an Italian restaurant in Madison, CT. Apparently he is supposed to be both inviting and appetite-inducing.
A man who saved over a billion lives died today!!!
Agricultural scientist Norman Borlaug, the father of the “green revolution” who won the Nobel Peace Prize died Saturday in Texas, a Texas A&M University spokeswoman said. He was 95.The Nobel committee honored Borlaug in 1970 for his contributions to high-yield crop varieties and bringing other agricultural innovations to the developing world. Many experts credit the green revolution with averting global famine during the second half of the 20th century and saving perhaps over 1 billion lives.
Tron Black Light Cycle
Tags:Awesome Things, Movies, TRON
A full-sized model of Tron Legacy Black Light Cycle at D23 Expo.
Ladies and Gentlemen! You’re attention please!
Tomorrow is my birthday! If you would like to shower me with your unadulterated praise, please do so at your pleasure.
If you would like to do something for me that is free to you, download and install dropbox.
If you have extra amazon bux, please feel free to take a look at my amazon wishlist. Feel free to make fun of said wishlist below.
If you have extra paypal dollars, please click the left sidebar and send send send! Because I am mere hours away from finalizing an offer on a house that I have found. Once I have the keys in my hand I’ll do a video walk through. It’ll be great.
BTW, I’m turning 29. How old are you?
