absolut hacker

Bloody storm trooper helmet

fat man – little gun

god less america

What Doctors Say and what they’re really thinking

“This should be taken care of right away.”
I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

“Welllllll, what have we here…?”
He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.

“Let me check your medical history.”
I want to see if you paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

“Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week.”
I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time..or..I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.

“I have some good news and some bad news.”
The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.

“Let’s see how it develops.”
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

“Let me schedule you for some tests.”
I have 40% interest in the lab.

“I’d like to have my associate look at you.”
He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

“That’s quite a nasty looking wound.”
I think I’m going to throw up.

“This may smart a little.”
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

“Well, we’re not feeling so well today, are we…?”
I’m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

“This should fix you up.”
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

“Everything seems to be normal.”
Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.

“I’d like to run some more tests.”
I can’t figure out what’s wrong maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

“Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?”
You’re crazier’n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who’ll split fees with me…”

“There is a lot of that going around.”
My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.

“If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment.”
I’ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I’m off next week!

from tikiwebgroup.com

Please go rate this post on TikiHumor.
Please add your own jokes.

RIP Soupy Sales

RIP Soupy Sales. You will be missed. read more about this comedy legend here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupy_Sales

for God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son

gtfo im poopin

I’m a woman and I have rights – LOL

kis with gas eat free

muscular hitler

nazi dog

PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED

roadside dancer

the 100 year-old virgin

the phone – fuck it

united federation of awesomeness

voyager’s icey landing

A Very Flexible Woman

weasels ripped my flesh

danger – do not touch

finger feet

Wheelchair Minute Man

what can you do with a bagel

visually confusing car lines

two headed lizard

The Nautilus

the bible is a mine rich in the ore of cognitive dissonance – delos mckown

soccer escort

Sharpie Car

road semi-permanently deactivated

no vending from state highway

meth bible camp – dead end

light cycle

iron man cosplayer

insert baby for refund

if the twitter community was 100 people

The undivided attention of cows

Lowell Herrero

The obscure intentions of sheep

Armed House

My next door neighbor wants to BAN all GUNS!
Their house is NOT ARMED!
Out of RESPECT for their opinions I promise NOT to use MY GUNS to PROTECT THEM.

Windows7 Whopper!

Yup, you guessed it, 7 patties! grab one today along with your copy of the best OS ever!!

Taken from Marjor Nelson’s Twitter page.

Firefox Wallpaper

Turok

You kill dinosaurs with a knife!

Be ahead of your time

Try our new Brazilian wax

False ATM Prank

Be watchful visiting Russia, especially when you going to use ATM. You can simply lose all your cash at once.

Swindlers install this sophisticated device over the original ATM keyboard and it saves all the necessary information from your card

Electrical Adapter for Suicide

Russian design studio ‘Artlebedev started production of a strange device.

This device can be plugged in any wall outlet as an adapter for your two fingers in order to get new experience with electricity or if to stay plugged longer for some suicide alternatives.

Also adapters for USA and Europe available.

In case you want to get this experience in a group a special outlet-multiplier can be supplied as an option.

Praetorian

by Alexiuss on DA

Check out his gallery here

GUY or GIRL?!?!

See if you can figure it out.

If you want the answer, check out:
dreths.blogspot.com/2009/10/guy-or-girl.html

GMC TopKick / Chevrolet Kodiak

Monroe Truck Equipment, a company based out of my hometown, does the mods to these trucks. The company has also done up trucks for some movies and pro athletes. They also do all sorts of other modifing to many other kinds of trucks.

See other pics, etc. here: www.monroetruck.com or www.monroetruck.com/GM/index.html

Martian Dust Devil Trails

Full size: apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0910/deviltrails_mro_big.jpg