I’ll be Barack

japan then and now

lcac in sand

A Medical Funeral

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.

When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: “Why are you laughing?”

“I was thinking about my own funeral” the man replied.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“I’m a gynecologist.”

from tikiwebgroup.com

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natalie portman is retro

people worried about swine flu

PROCEED.

something bad is happening

termites on the ark

the devils waiting for me

B.A. MS Paint Masterpieces

I want to see some bad ass creations using nothing but MS Paint as your tool. The term “bad ass” is meant to be loose … so I want to see Chuck Norris as the Mona Lisa, I wanna see some explosions, robo-dinosaurs, space ninjas … whatever! Just make it bad ass!

Example of potential MS Paint badassery:

bored-bored.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/jack-sparrow-paint.jpg

from Drawfor.me. Go there and submit an image. If you have an account on MCS, it’ll work there too.

THE JOY OF LUCIFER

this is not windows vista – it instead is ubuntu linux

user was banned for this post – why

vic with corpse

warning – alcohol impairs judgment – fish kisser

braided beard

cool story brah

diy confetti

fire box traps pranksters

haz u seen mai sista

lizard hair

obama meets a pirate

shark under fish cloud

the breasts – my favorite part

the IT Crowd Version 1.0

the only person standing is the main in a wheel chair

Things are still wobbly

Ok, so things are still a bit weird with the MCS tubes, after you leave a comment you’re sent off to another post, which seems random, but you always end up at the same post depending on where you left your comment.

WEIRD.

Also, the comment rating system was complete messed up, no clue what happened there, I took it offline until I can get some breathing space.

In other unrelated news: I find out this thursday if I have a new house. It would be GREAT if I had some extra money by that day to help pay for hookers and beer, moving expenses.

we don’t sell to blondes

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I want to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and perm, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

“I’d like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

from tikiwebgroup.com

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this is a designated smoking area

Tobey Maguire checks out Natelie Portman

venom drools on aunt may

warning – rays travel from this monitor at nearly 299,792,458 metres per second

absolut hacker

Bloody storm trooper helmet

fat man – little gun

god less america

What Doctors Say and what they’re really thinking

“This should be taken care of right away.”
I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

“Welllllll, what have we here…?”
He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.

“Let me check your medical history.”
I want to see if you paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

“Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week.”
I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time..or..I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.

“I have some good news and some bad news.”
The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.

“Let’s see how it develops.”
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

“Let me schedule you for some tests.”
I have 40% interest in the lab.

“I’d like to have my associate look at you.”
He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

“That’s quite a nasty looking wound.”
I think I’m going to throw up.

“This may smart a little.”
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

“Well, we’re not feeling so well today, are we…?”
I’m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

“This should fix you up.”
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

“Everything seems to be normal.”
Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.

“I’d like to run some more tests.”
I can’t figure out what’s wrong maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

“Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?”
You’re crazier’n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who’ll split fees with me…”

“There is a lot of that going around.”
My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.

“If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment.”
I’ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I’m off next week!

from tikiwebgroup.com

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RIP Soupy Sales

RIP Soupy Sales. You will be missed. read more about this comedy legend here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupy_Sales

for God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son

gtfo im poopin

I’m a woman and I have rights – LOL

kis with gas eat free

muscular hitler

nazi dog

PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED

roadside dancer

the 100 year-old virgin

the phone – fuck it

united federation of awesomeness