A man was at a bar….
A man was at a bar one night and saw a beautiful redhead sitting in the booth opposite him. After about 5 minutes, he got up the guts to go talk to her. Just as he sat down, she sneezed and her glass eye flew out from her socket.
On reflex, the guy shot out his arm and caught her eye and gave it back to her. They started talking and the redhead invited the man to go to a movie with her, then go back to her place for a nightcap. In the morning, she cooked him a big breakfast of bacon and eggs and the man said, “Why are you being incredibly nice to me? Is this the way you treat all men who start talking to you?”
The redhead replied, “No, you just happened to catch my eye!”
in the emperor’s name let none survive
Tags:Awesome Things, Quotes, Wallpaper, Warhammer 40k
I cannot imagine a god
Tags:Quotes, Religion, Wallpaper
Superior Blowjob
A man feels lonely one night, so he calls an escort service. When the girl arrives, she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He asks her for a blowjob. She smiles. “All right baby, I give the best blowjobs in the country. There’s just one thing: I can only do it in the dark.” The man gets pretty excited. He sits down on his armchair and turns off the lamp next to him, plunging the room into darkness. He hears some fumbling, and pretty soon shes going at it. She’s right; it’s the best blowjob in the country.
The next day he calls her again and asks her to come over. He sits back in his armchair and turns off the lamp. It’s better than the first time. He can’t believe how good it is. He wonders how the hell she’s doing it. So the next day he calls her again, determined to find out her technique. When she’s blowing him for the third time in darkness, he reaches his hand out to turn on his lamp, but knocks a small round object off the table. He turns on the lamp to find a glass eye on the floor.
baby platypuses
Tags:Cute As Hell Animals, Nature
Declined posts
Those of you that are MCS+ will notice that there’s a new link in the MCS+ section: “Trashed Posts”. That’s where declined posts will show up for 30 days and then shuffle off into the nothingness of the internets.
For those of you that do not have mcs+, if you’re the author, I believe that these posts may show up on the “your submissions” page. I’ve started to comment on why the posts were declined, normally it’s for watermarks, size issues or illegal file name characters.
Anyways, there’s that.
red riding hood on a hog
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Sexy, Wallpaper
Moar Red Dead Redemption
Cannot wait! I plan on walking the path as a law abiding desperado that occasional walks the path of an outlaw.
Pan’s Labyrinth
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Movies, WTF
Well, that creeped the fuck out of me.
Proof that PC gamers are idiots.
It could be doctored, but this pic pretty much sums up my feelings towards the “master race”, they will grasp at anything just to make themselves feel special… then when it comes to actually playing games, they go back to being miserable and bored with nothing but Crysis to show the power of their video cards.
Inb4 a bunch of PC gamers trying desperately to justify why they’re PC gamers.
jesus hates fags?
my science class played this game once.
I don’t know what the original sentence was, but it ended as
‘omish people love to scuba dive’
Mein Kampf
Happy holidays M[c]S!
Pic 1: Die Herausforderung
Pic 2: Feuer frei!
Pic 3: The say me rollin…
Spilt BBs
A woman is cooking a pot of soup for her family when she accidentally bumps into a shelf next to the stove, spilling a large container of BB’s into the soup. Rather than take the time to fish them out, she serves the soup to her family.
Later that night, her husband comes over and says “Honey, guess what? I just pissed BB’s!”
A short time later her daughter comes over and says “Mom, guess what? I just pissed BB’s!”
A short time after that her son comes over and says “Mom, guess what?”
“Let me guess. You pissed BB’s” the mother says.
“No,” the son says, “I was jacking off and I shot the cat.”
pandorum – blue payton
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Movies, Pandorum, Wallpaper
our planet in scale
Tags:Science!, Visual Tricks, WTF
batman snaps babies
Tags:Comic Books, Dark Humor, WTF
the dark crystal promo wallpaper
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Movies, Wallpaper
