back of the future

PORK

SO FULL OF SHIT

SPACE 1999

UNICORN MEAT

MOTORCYCLE

GURNEY GATOR

CHUCK NORRIS

BITCH

CHUCK NORRIS

CANDLES

Young Frankenstein

Joleen Diaz

CHUCK NORRIS

TNG Sketchbook The Movies

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HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

WILL YOU SHUT UP MAN

cyborg superman and friends

TRULY CRAZY AND BIZARRE

CREDENZA

ANY LENGTH

1966

BIKINI

Jamie Marie

What me worry

Halloween 5 The Revenge of Michael Myers

Directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard. With Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Beau Starr. One year after the events of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), the Shape returns to Haddonfield once again in an attempt to kill his now-mute niece.

This is the best of the Halloween films so far, by a long shot. The sense of suspense was there, the story was believable, the setups were entertaining, and the sexual tension could be cut with a knife. I was worried that everything after H2 was going to be downhill, but here’s a good sign that the franchise still has some teeth in it.

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Halloween II 2009

Directed by Rob Zombie. With Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie. Laurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael’s deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.

The opening scenes of this sequel to the reboot by Rob Zombie are exactly what I was expecting from him in the previous film: poorly thought out gore porn with disgusting body horror thrown in for absolutely no reason. There’s zero suspense here, just blood and wasted potential.

The rest of the film was the same shitty film grained torture porn with some weird psychotic alternate reality afterlife bullshit going on that just didn’t interest me at all.

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WEAR HIS MARK ON THEIR FOREHEADS

Towie’s Georgia Harrison shows off her brand new GBP6K boobs

devil girls print 01

DAMASCUS

COSTUME PARADE

ADVERTISING

MECHANIC

TATTOO

WHICH WILL YOU HAVE

STEREO

A boy’s middle finger

GASOLINE

GUITAR

DAMASCUS

GARTERS

STEREO

PIANO

GUITAR

Halloween

Directed by Rob Zombie. With Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif. After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.

A much deeper look into a non-supernatural Michael Myers, the first half of the movie is just setting up why he becomes such a horror to behold. I was expecting a shit show of a movie due to the director, I’ve never been a fan of Rob Zombie’s movie work, but this one didn’t turn out too bad. No ‘new’ famous faces for this movie, the only person I recognize is Danny Trejo, playing one of the only redeemable characters in the into movie. Maybe Malcolm McDowell, but not sure he’s as famous as I like to think he is.

It’s a shame that they didn’t keep with the original storylines though, I feel like there was plenty of room for Rob Zombie to do his thing within the confines of that universe instead of remaking the whole thing.

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better than norris

Halloween Resurrection

Directed by Rick Rosenthal. With Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Brad Loree, Bianca Kajlich. Three years after he last terrorized his sister, Michael Myers confronts her again, before traveling to Haddonfield to deal with the cast and crew of a reality show which is being broadcast from his old home.

haha, what a twist, he didn’t really die in the last film, but she did at the beginning of this one! OR DID SHE!? Maybe we’re talking about her resurrection and not his!? Nope, she’s really gone, sorry guys! However, we ARE back to the quaint city of Haddonfield, site of the original horrors of the franchise, all so we can get a cast of teens to spend the night in the horror house that Michael was originally raised in. I started to have some real nerd rage when they were talking about all the furniture like it was left there by the Myers family, because as anyone that’s seen the films recently can tell you, the last family that we knew lived there was the Realtor’s family. That rage subsided though when it turned out that the entire place was set up to be as scary as possible for internet ratings! In yet another showing of how powerful this franchise is with star power, Starbuck herself (Katee Sackhoff) stars along with Busta Rhymes, and a guest appearance of Jamie Lee Curtis, who I believe at this point was near the top of her popularity, not that she’s really faded all that much. There’s some aging here with the technology, palm pilots weigh heavily, but that can be looked past for the thrill of watching people trying to survive a horror house. From my little bit of research, this is the last of the main line Halloween films, up next is the Rob Zombie reboot, which I’m not really looking forward to, Rob Zombie has a reputation for being more about torture porn than suspense.

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CHUCK NORRIS

Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers 1995 – IMDb

Directed by Joe Chappelle. With Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Mitchell Ryan. Six years after Michael Myers last terrorized Haddonfield, he returns there in pursuit of his niece, Jamie Lloyd, who has escaped with her newborn child, for which Michael and a mysterious cult have sinister plans.

Paul Rudd’s first film? Ok, I didn’t see that coming, but I guess horror films are a good place for quality actors to get started, after all, Leonardo Dicaprio’s first role was in a Critters sequel.

They go hard on an occult aspect in this, the sixth film of the franchise, and only just barely have the suspense and terror that I loved so much in the previous film. I can see that they’re trying to balance action, adventures, suspense, and horror, but I’m not entirely sure this is the mix that I’m personally looking for.

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Bright Nights – Koop

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