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“Hellraiser III Hell on Earth” Review

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth: Directed by Anthony Hickox. With Kevin Bernhardt, Lawrence Mortorff, Terry Farrell, Ken Carpenter. An investigative reporter must send the newly unbound Pinhead and his legions back to Hell.

This wasn’t on Amazon Prime that I can see, had to find it on alternative streaming sites, so it was a cross between VHS and DVD in quality, which I think actually gave it more charm. Adding to that charm is something that I’ve noticed elsewhere: big stars getting roles in the 3rd or 4th part of a horror franchise, (Leonardo DiCaprio got his start in “Critters 3”!). In this case it’s Terry Farrell, who I know so well from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine! I don’t think she has any relation go Glenda Farrell, but it’s funny that last name keep popping up in my movies lately.

There’s a ton to unpack here in the third Hellraiser film, I honestly think this is the best of them so far, with all sorts of unintended humor, like when the heart monitor is flatlining at a hospital all dramatically… after a guy’s head exploded! Then right after that, Farrell’s character says “tight stories not tight skirts” then the next scene is her in a thin nearly see through shirt and skirt at the “boiler room” looking for the owner of the club.

It actually wasn’t until about 30 minutes into the film during a scene in which a street urchin is burning breakfast that I realized the reporter was played by Terry Farrell, I think that’s the first time she let her hair down and looked more like the woman I’m familiar with. If you’re a recovering smoker, this is not going to be a fun ride for you, as absolutely everyone is smoking through the film, I think there’s only a few scenes where someone isn’t lighting up a cigarette. I have nothing against smoking in movies, but it was just super obvious that absolutely no one was compensated at all to smoke all these smokes. Nope, definitely not.

I also enjoyed the ending of this one much more than the previous two. The puzzle box ends up buried under a building in it’s foundation and now the building is decorated like the cube! It’s a great way to suggest that there’s an opening for sequels and an obvious dig at corporate culture.

“Demons aren’t real, they’re parables, metaphors” … “Yeah? Then what the fuck is that?!?”

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The Batmen

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Risky business Some Capitol riot defendants forgo lawyers

Some of the defendants charged in the storming of the U.S. Capitol are turning away defense lawyers and electing to represent themselves, undeterred by their lack of legal training or repeated warnings from judges.

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Recent Comic Cover Updates For 2021-10-18

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Colin Powell has died of COVID-19 complications family says

WASHIINGTON (AP) — Colin Powell, who served Democratic and Republican presidents in war and peace but whose sterling reputation was forever stained when he went before the U.N. and made faulty claims to justify the U.S.

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Trumpist county clerk barred after leak of voting-system passwords to QAnon

Peters lied about “consultant” who copied data; deputy clerk had cameras disabled.

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Miami private school to require students getting COVID vaccine to stay home for 30 days after each dose

MIAMI (WSVN) – A Miami school that made headlines for saying it would penalize teachers who got the COVID-19 vaccine is now requiring students who…

“What happens 30 days after they get vaccinated? What kind of nonsense is this?” said Dr. Aileen Marty, an infectious disease expert at Florida International University. “Where did they get that? There’s nothing in the recommendations to that… they made that up. That’s science fiction, not even science fiction because it’s pure fiction.”

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JOAN JETT

Hellbound Hellraiser II

Hellbound: Hellraiser II: Directed by Tony Randel. With Clare Higgins, Ashley Laurence, Kenneth Cranham, Imogen Boorman. Kirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser (1987), where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.

They do a well done and quick recap of the first movie, then move on to the fact that the girl from the first film is now considered insane, which yeah, makes sense. There was a whole bunch of crazy stuff happening in that first film!

We find that one of her doctors is a bit too interested in tracking the demons for a while now and has taken the mattress that the original guy from the first movie tied on, then uses it to resurrect the girlfriend / hammer happy lady from first film. Naturally, she’s resurrected, but only partially, so they need to go on a murder spree! Before that happens though, they wrap her up like a mummy and make out for a while. It’s gross.

She eats like half a dozen people and reveals her own face, which is not how it worked in the first film, in the first one the guy ended up with the face of the last person that he ate, but in this one she gets to keep her own gorgeous face? Ok, it’s a break in continuity, but I’ll have to accept it. There’s some shenanigans in a hellscape and an autistic woman, but at the end of the day all the demons are killed.

There’s some new monster designs here, the doctor that was so enamored by the demons ends up as a head on the end of a giant tentacle, which is cool as hell, but I could never figure out where that tentacle went and what it was ultimately attached to.

“The Doctor is in”

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