7821 Search Results Found For: "star"

Uncle Pete…

WTF?!!?

My Uncle Pete comes over sometimes.

He lives with us every now and then. he is really kind to me – holding me, listening to me, and making me feel loved.

One night when he was holding me, he started touching my private parts. Over time, he taught me to touch and play with his. It felt very strange, scary and a little good too. He told me it was OK, that this means he really loves me. This went on for several months. He told me, “This is our special secret.”

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  • This Is Sparta

    spartaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    I haven’t seen it yet because I was banned from my cineplex. We had all lined up in front of the theater for about 30 minutes, and then they brought us in. I had to stand right beside these two fat, horse-faced lesbians eating each others tongues like they were making a political statement or something. So, like 30 minutes later, we end up shuffling in the theater and these fucking bitches start bitching about having to wait when the movie is about to start, mind you, it was 11 and it was a midnight showing. It turns out they were going to see that stupid Jim Carrey movie 23 and they were missing it. So, the ugliest of the two bitches just exclaims like no one’s there “This is the wrong fucking movie!” I just had to do what I did next. I shouted at the top of my lungs “This is SPARTA” and kicked her in the chest, causing her to fall down about 8 steps to the floor. Most were shocked, but about 80% of the theater started to cheer, and I was forcibly thrown out by 2 officers. Charges are going to be pressed against me apparently, but it was worth it.

    Square Cloud

    whatcha hiding down there?

    Better bust out the square umbrella if it starts to rain…

    Linky

    ZERG RUSH

    ZERG RUSH

    ZERG RUSH

    This is the true face of Starcraft

    Don’t Fight The Bears

    But he started it...

    Super Fat Friends

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    I’m going to start a cosplay website. Who’s with me?

    The Holy Pierogi

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    Apparently, some people believe that this pierogi shows the face of Jesus.
    To me, it vaguely resembles a skull smoking a cigar. What is it about people that they need to see the face
    of Jesus or Mary in every wall stain, piece of bark, or item of burnt food?

    Why don’t Buddhists see the face of Siddhartha Gautama staring back at them when they open
    up a new jar of peanut butter?

    Zoom Out

    universe

    Starts at Earth, ends at Universe

    Site News, Kinad

    Just got an e-mail from google, saying that they removed one of my sites from their adsense program due to policy violations.  I had a minor heart attack, and thought “oh shit, MCS just got kicked out, how am I going to pay the $500 hosting bill?!”

    Luckily they just kicked out www.dirtylimerick.com because of the ‘adult or mature content’, which I guess I should have seen coming.  So, now it’s exclusively Project Wonderful only for the time being…so if you have the desire to advertise on the site, head on over, there’s free spots still open, and even the ones that have bids are only at 1 or 2 cents.  That site doesn’t get nearly enough traffic.  I may start advertising it on PW or Fark or somewhere to give it the traffic it deserves.

    Also, does anyone know what the hell’s happened to Dirty Microbe?  it’s as if they’ve fallen off the face of the planet.  They aren’t returning any of my e-mails, and people are reporting ordered merchandise isn’t being shipped….

    FREAKIXY

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    Serious Case of Hat Hair

    Hat Hair!

    In case you were wondering why: www.jamaica-star.com/thestar/20051006/news/

    Obvious Exits Are:

    Obvious Exits Are:

    For the Homestar Runnner Fans

    Vader & Leia

    Vader And Leia

    Unintentional humor in coloring books = awesome.

    The Pioneer Plaque

    The Pioneer Plaque

    This plaque was included on the Pioneer 10 & 11 unmanned spacecraft, the first man-made objects to leave our solar system. It’s supposed to show the figures of a man and a woman along with several symbols that are designed to provide information about the origin of the spacecraft.

    I guess the first thing we want other alien species to know about us is that we walk around naked behind large shields to protect us from poorly drawn stars. Awesome.

    How Pi is Calculated

    Pi Unrolled

    A number line is marked off by a circle of unit diameter. Starting from zero, the circle “unrolls” its circumference. At one full turn, the unrolled circumference has extended to the point we call Ï€. This number is real but irrational, transcendental, and cannot be constructed with compass and straightedge.

    Benoit – “A True Family Man”

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    So I get home the other day and my roommate is watching a tribute program for this guy.  The announcers are gushing about how much he loved his family, and how proud they were of the way he raised his kids, and then they started crying into each other’s shoulder.

    Today I find out that that they omited the small fact that he had choked his wife to death, and then murdered his son, and not being able to man up to what he did, he took the cowards way out and hung himself with his own workout equipment.

    Yeah, family man.

    Cats: not that funny.

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    Dear new internet users,

    Please stop uploading and e-mailing photos of cats looking grumpy / cute / angry / fat / wet / sad or fixing your computer.

    It was funny in 1995 when civilization first started using the web, but it’s over now.

    Sincerely,

    The rest of us.


  • Letter Of the day

    Letter of the day
    So I ask you. Modern press for the win?

     Dear Miriam,

    Theother day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.

    I hadn’t gone a hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car juddered to a halt.  I walked back home to get my husband’s help.  When I got home I found him in the bedroom.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.
    I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been maried for 12 years.  WHen I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed up in my lingerie because couldn’t find any of his own underwear.  But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he had been wearing my cloths for six months.  I told him it had to stop, or I would leave him.
    He was made redundant from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.  I love him very much, but ever since I have him the ultimatum, he has become increasingly distant, and I dont’ feel I can get through to him any more.  Please can you help?

    –Mrs B, Essex

    Miriam says... A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults in the engine.  Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  If it is clearn, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.

    Khaaaaan Licence Plate

     

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    Stan Lee – Hero or Zero?

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    The man’s a legend in the comic book industry, but is it a legend of awesomeness or bastardness?

    Bucket Saga

    Fucking Cat

    I for one will kill this cat for the injustice done to Mr. Walrus! He was so happy!

    YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!

    See Here

    Dedicated Server Problems

    Those of you that were trying to access the site over the weekend might have noticed that there were a few minor problems. mainly that the entire site was unaccessible, and even when you did connect it was slow as fuck. This was a dedicated server from WestHost. After three days of their incompetent tech support bumbling about, I figured that enough was enough and moved everything back to hurricane electric.

    So here we are, back where we started, but at least you can get to the site, right?

    Heroes Wallpaper

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    So I just caught the season finale, and I was underwhelmed.   I think in part because nothing really happened. Seriously when it was over, I looked at the clock, and I thought “hmm, what happened in the last hour.” and my answer?  not a whole lot.  I dunno if I’m going to pick the series up again next year.  I’ll just start praying for a Global Frequency series to be picked up.

    Congress Has No E-Mail, and neither does Gov. Crist

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    A tale of woe after the cut:

    (more…)

    NBC Logo

    nbc-logo.jpg


    There’s nothing good on TV anymore, anyone have any suggestions?  I’m already watching:

    Battlestar Galactica

    Heroes

    House, M.D.

    Jericho

    Lost

    StarGate

    what else am I missing out on?

    Jay And Silent Bob Wallpaper (clerks 2)

     

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    I love this tubby bastard

    Unfinished Building

    unfinished-building.jpg

    Damn communists never finish what they start.

    [Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea]

    Iron Man Vs Captain America Wallpaper

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    Am I the only one that wonders what the fuck Marvel was thinking when they pitted these two against each other?  I mean, seriously, yeah, Captain America is a fucking awesome fighter, with muscles and tactical knowledge, and he’s a pretty smart dude, but could he seriously stand up against Tony Stark?  The dude has a power suit on for Christ’s sake.  And he’s a super genius.  AND an alcoholic to boot!  Iron Man’s got blasters, repulsers, magneto beams, super beams, hyper beams and jet boots.  Captain American has a shield.  And wings on his head.

    Publix Logo

    publix-logo.png

    True story, I used to work at a suuuuper market that some dudes were selling dope out the back door.  I bought some, but it ended up being oregano.  Bastards

    I’m Detecting Much Win In This Sector

    data-win.jpg
    DUDE, that’s Data from Star Trek

    Buffy The Vampire Slayer

    So I just watched 7 seasons straight of Buffy, and by golly, I’ll tell you something. I missed out by not watching this sooner. I’m now a weadonite, due to BtvS and Firefly.

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    047.jpg

    scoobies_s7.jpg

    Now I start on Angel. And then I watch Firefly again. And then I start Buffy again 😉

    Today’s NASA Image oF the Day

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    From NASA’s Image Of The Day

    About 1,600 light-years away, in a binary star system fondly known as J0806, two dense white dwarf stars orbit each other once every 321 seconds. Based on data from the Chandra X-Ray Observatory, astronomers believe that the stars’ already impressively short orbital period is steadily becoming shorter. Because of this, the two stars are destined to merge.

    Depicted in this artist’s vision, the death spiral of the remarkable J0806 system is a consequence of Einstein’s theory of General Relativity that predicts the white dwarf stars will lose their orbital energy by generating gravity waves. In fact, J0806 could be one of the brightest sources of gravitational waves in our galaxy, directly detectable by future space-based gravity wave instruments.

    So, not a ‘real’ picture, but still cool as shit anyways.

    Toaster = Bob Dylan

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    Battlestar Galactica spoilers in comments!

    Lovecraft Love Face

    lovecraft.jpg

    Lovecraft would make this face during sex.

    Staring as he thrusted.  Staring.  Just staring.

    Clippy Want / Do Not Want

    clippy-want.gif

    I figure I better post this, cause they just retired the little bastard.

    Spartans In MY Restaurant?

    300-spartans-in-my-restaraunt.jpg
    It’s more likely than you think!

    [edit: I need to mention 300 somewhere in the post so when people search the site for 300, they’ll get this one too. 300]

    Captain America Wallpaper

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    I’d like to thank CNN, NYT, and Wired.com for fucking comic book fans over EVERYWHERE by spoiling the end of one of the largest stories to ever come out of marvel’s bullpen.  Wired really gets a giant middle finger, cause this isn’t the first time they’ve fucked their loyal readers over.  This last week they spoiled the most recent episode of battlestar galactice in their RSS Feed title.  I mean seriously, how incompetent can you get?  Meh, I’ll just never go back to their site, and unsubscribe from their RSS feed.  I’d suggest you do the same.

    Tank Rush KEKEKE

    tank-rush-kekeke.jpg


    Fucking terrans.

    3p Webcomic

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    from Three Panel Soul

    [starwars, yuengling, beer, roommate]

    Ratcliff’s Obsession With BOOBS.

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    Dude, what the hell are you looking at there?  They don’t grow in until the NEXT movie.

    Jenna Jameson’s Gone Downhill

    Remember when Jenna looked like this? Sadly time goes by, and porn stars get plastic surgery, not all of it for the best :

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    From totalcrap

    (PS, click to see the boob wrinkles.  ugh)

    ROLF-MAO

    From the original page:

    Rolling On Floor Laughing My AOff

    But I won’t tell you what that A– stands for because I don’t use that kind of filthy language, you ass.

    BTW, just started as an affiliate with Dirty Microbe, so MCS will receive up to 25% of all sales that are generated by my posts, so feel free to buy their shit. I’ll make money off it, and you get to receive more of the funny.

    Ben Browder And Claudia Black

    ben-claudia1280.jpg

    Lemme admit here, that when Ben Bowder and Claudia Black came onto Stargate: SG1, I wasn’t too happy with the situation, and I didn’t really like them as actors. Then I watched Farscape, and gained a huge respect for their talents, so I’m going to assume that it’s simply the chemistry that hasn’t gelled yet on SG1. Sadly, I don’t think they’re going to get the time to get comfortable on the new set.

    SG1 was one of those good “bad” TV series, much like Atlantis or any other SciFi produced series. It was / is terribly good. (Unlike BSG, which is just GREAT)

    Doggy Stress

    stress.GIF


    You remember back when the internet first started, and it was all cool and shit?  yeah, this picture is older then that.

    THERE IS NO IMAGE MACRO FOR WHAT I AM FEELING

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    My GOD it’s full of stars.

    Venture Brothers 21 & 24 Wallpaper

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    I just started season 2 of Venture Bros last night, and the first couple episodes are by far much better then the entire first season. This scene in particular had me lmoa.

    Server is on fire!

    Great welcomes be upon to you! Apparently we were put up on Digg. And on Reddit. Oh, and Stumbled Upon just hit a new high for the site too. All during the same week I took out a Fark.com advert, and while I love Dreamhost, they’re a shared website environment, so things go a little weird when one site out of the hundreds on a server starts to have the obscene traffic that MCS has received in the last 48 hours. So, I’m looking around to see what options I have.

    Odds are good that I’m going to have to find a server for MCS, and leave my other twenty sites at Dreamhost. What other websites? I have a list prepared!

    There’s really only two or three that get any serious amount of traffic, comiccovers, comic-images and MCS. So, MCS is going to have to move eventually. Until I figure out what I’m going to do, the site is going to remain where it’s at, and will still update, so fret not! And while you’re not fretting, add my RSS feed to your feed reader.

    BTW, should I put bloglines in my htaccess so it doesn’t get watermarked?

    Admiral Locke

    admiral-locke.jpg

    Was this a real Star Trek TNG Episode?