743 Search Results Found For: "fail"
Here's the top MCS tags found for "fail"
Engine trouble
Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.â€
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, ‘One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry, we can fly just fine on two engines.â€
An hour later the captain announced, ‘One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don’t worry, we still have one engine left.â€
Sherry, a young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, ‘If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!â€
Stranded Fishermen
Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an engine failure. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, ‘Make the entire ocean into beer! The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: ‘Nice going idiot! Now we’re going to have to piss in the boat!
– DeadDog » DeadDog Archive » Stranded Fishermen
Breakfast Club flip
Tags:Humor, Movies, The Breakfast Club
An image I\’ve found useful on messageboards whenever someone says something so fuckin\’ loonytunes that words fail.
Site stability and new feature!
Ok, so the moment that I turned off the ratings, the server’s processor load went down nearly 90%. I hope you noticed that MCS has been much snappier lately!
The sidebar login apparently was failing a lot, so I’ve changed the code out for something that seems to be working better. For those of you that have submitted posts, you’ll find a link to your submission’s status page.
Now that everything is running oh so greatly, I’ve enabled the ‘related posts’ item that you’ll find directly above the comments on the single post page. This has been on MCS for a while, but I was only using it for 404 error help.
Enjoy!
(MCS just broke 18,000 posts, yay)
The seven lady godivas NSFW???
The Seven Lady Godivas: The True Facts Concerning History’s Barest Family is a picture book of the tale of Lady Godiva, written and illustrated by Dr. Seuss. One of Seuss’s few books written for adults, its original 1939 publication by Random House was a failure and was eventually remaindered. However, it later gained popularity as Seuss himself grew in fame, and was republished in 1987.
Plot overview
The book recounts the tale of not one, but seven Godiva sisters, all understandably nude. It opens with the sisters’ father, Lord Godiva, deciding to leave for the Battle of Hastings on horseback. This upsets the sisters, as horses are wild and untamed animals. Sure enough, before Lord Godiva manages to even leave the castle walls, he is flung from his horse and killed. As a tribute to their father’s fate, the Godiva sisters agree to never marry, despite the fact that each is courting one of seven brothers named Peeping, until they can warn their countrymen of the dangers of horses. The book then follows the sisters as they set out on individual quests for “horse truths”, which turn out to be well-known sayings involving horses.
Publication history
Seuss reportedly had misgivings about The Seven Lady Godivas before its publication; the drawing on the endpaper contains a small bucket of sap labeled “Bennett Cerf,” the name of Seuss’s publisher at Random House. Seuss, by calling Cerf a “sap”, was apparently implying that Cerf was being too nice in allowing the book to be published. The initial 1939 publishing had a print run of 10,000 copies, but only around 2,500 sold. Seuss himself called it his “greatest failure” and “a book that nobody bought”. The remaining copies were remaindered in the chain of Schulte’s Cigar Stores for twenty-five cents, though original editions now have been reported as selling at prices as high as $300.
The book’s initial failure has been attributed to several factors: at two dollars, it was priced relatively high for the Great Depression era. Also, the book’s depiction of nudity, though it was intended for adults, led to cold reception.
In 1974, Carolyn See wrote in Esquire that “America was feeling too blue to be cheered up by pictures of silly ladies”. Seuss said he tried to draw “the sexiest-looking women” he could, but they “came out just ridiculous”.
The failure of The Seven Lady Godivas, Seuss’s fourth book, may well have led to his subsequent immersion into the world of children’s literature. He stated that he would “rather write for kids”, who were more appreciative, and was no longer interested in writing for adults. Indeed, his general contempt for adults is evident in his oft-repeated quote: “Adults are obsolete children, and the hell with them.”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Lady_Godivas
Personal Note – I remember finding this in my dads collection, when I was 9, and wondering why it wasn’t with all of our Dr. Seuss books. Not a bad story!
Interesting Choice of Location for This Movie Poster
On 22 July 2005, Jean Charles de Menezes, a Brazilian electrician living in London, was shot dead by plain clothes police officers at Stockwell station. This incident came a day after the failed 21 July 2005 London bombings occurred on Tube trains and a bus in London, however it later emerged that it was a case of mistaken identity on the part of the police and that Menezes had nothing to do with the attacks.
November 1st Theme Day
After the resounding success utter failure of October 1st’s theme day, this next one is going to be a little easier for you guys to grok: Pets. Cat, dogs, lizards, snakes, birds, spiders, lemurs, ferrets, turtles, squirrels or anything else that you have enslaved for your own petty amusements.
When you post your picture of your perfect pet, please have the title formated in this fashion: “My Pet [animal type] – [animal name]”. So if I were to post my puppies, I’d have: “My Pet dogs – Abby and Zeus”.
Also, I’m thinking of giving out money for theme days in a 100% arbitrary fashion. Opinions?
Bucket Dog Likes The Bucket
Tags:Cute As Hell Animals, Humor
My buddy does repo, he saw this ugly bastard sitting in a bucket. He didn’t bark, he didn’t even move. He just sat there staring at him. The dog is fail.
View from atop Mt. Everest
Explanation: What would it be like to stand atop the tallest mountain on Earth? To see a full panoramic vista from there, scroll right. Visible are snow peaked mountains near and far, tremendous cliffs, distant plateaus, the tops of clouds, and a dark blue sky. Mt. Everest stands 8.85 kilometers above sea level, roughly the maximum height reached by international airplane flights, but much less than the 300 kilometers achieved by a space shuttle. Hundreds of people have tried and failed to climb the behemoth by foot, a feat first accomplished successfully in 1953. About 1000 people have now made it to the summit. Roddy Mackenzie, who climbed the mountain in 1989, captured the above image. Mt. Everest lies in the Himalaya mountains in the country of Nepal. In the native language of Nepal, the mountain’s name is “Sagarmatha” which means “forehead of the sky
Adobe’s Epic App
Not to sure what it does but… well apparently it must be epic.
(I got this error when opening up an adobe program on a PC)
Dragonball Z
Tags:Fail, Movies, Television, WTF
Prepare for Epic Fail next spring
George Carlin
Dead at 71.
Sux.
Washingtonpost.com is reporting that the legendary George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital Sunday, a spokesman said. He was was 71.
As I was going through the categories I noticed that I could use more than half of them to reference his material and his life. he was a fucking funny guy.
Anger Management
When they give you problems. Beat the living shit out of them. It feels much better.
The second one is the 12$ one I bought to replace the 100$ one a bludgeoned to death 2 months before. The “L” key stopped working so I gave it the 5 iron stress test. It failed.
The Real War Machine
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Humor, WTF
that other post is just….full of FAIL! (my 1st post yay )
Page shown when site went down
This page was shown now and then when the site went down.
Squirrel Fail.
He is AWESOME
he should name his son Starscream
and like when his son looses a baseball game hell say “you failed me for the last time”
Ted Nugent Ultimate Guitar
The ultimate guitar for the ultimate guitar God. I love Ted Nugent. I have this album on vinyl but I don’t have a record player. This equals epic fail I know. I googled this image in response to the guitar rifle.
Ted Nugent for President!
Redneck Mansion
At first I thought “Fail!”.
Then I came around to “… well… kinda cool.”.
Now I am fully into the “Win.” end of the spectrum.
Bret “the hitman” Hart
Tags:Sexy, Sports, Wallpaper
Didn’t this guy die from failing falling?
Toast
Strength – Joy – Nutrition
Have you eaten your toast today?
Issued by the TOAST Marketing Board in the interest of public safety and nutrition. Failure to meet mandatory toast-eating requirements is an offense.
I Mean It
Tags:Fantasy - Science Fiction, Humor
They always have to touch it.
[tiki says: from www.goobscomic.com, seems like a cool comic, but doesn’t have an RSS feed, so it fails.]
Site News / Lightening Strike
Ok, so I got home last night to find out that lightening had struck my house, killing both my computer’s mother board and my router. I’ve got both of them on order, but they won’t arrive at mi casa until next week. Unfortunately, MCS only has enough posts till the 19th.
All 900-15,000 images I had saved up were on my computer 🙁 I think I need to get myself one of those huge flash drives. But then I would forget to unplug it, and it would get fried too.
So please, upload some quality imagery, and we’ll keep the site live for another week or two till I can get to my hard drives and make sure everything’s ok on them!
Go Go Gadget Dick!
Tags:Comic Books, Dark Humor, Television
This comic is from Cascade Failure
Green Lantern Vs Rainbow Brite
Little known fact : GL no longer has the yellow problem. from passfailstudios
Chloroform Date Assistant
After failing miserably on match, okcupid, omgIneeddate.com, and various other shitty dating sites, I’ve found a system that just works.
There was a young man from Wales
There was a young man from Wales
Whose yachting technique never fails.
He dines on baked beans
And plenty of greens,
And his farts put the wind in the sails.
You Can Click, But You Can’t Hide
I’m desperately looking for the parody of this that says “You can sue, but you can’t stop everyone” or something to that effect….google images is failing me right now 🙁
Pyramid of Capitalist System
I have no idea where I picked this up from, but I liked it at the time, gives you some insight on why so many countries when with alternatives to capitalism for so long, and in the end, why capitalism may fail:
That being said, I love being filthy rich, so go on and keep it up you working class, and feed and work for me, bawahahahahah! (of course, I wouldn’t be blogging if I was too filthy rich, right?)
Going away, site changes, OMG PUT UP A PICTURE ALREADY,KK?
Because of real life, I’m forced to be pulled away from the site for the next couple days. But, I don’t want to leave you guys without any pictures to speak of, so I’ve made some small adjustments to the site that are hopefully for the best.
If you register for an account you will be able to upload any image, and put whatever text you want. I’ll be moderating them, and those of you that seem to have a grasp as to what’s funny (and what’s not) I’ll make moderators, just like me, but without the god-like ability to smite the undeserving. I can always be bribed too, so if you happen to have like 20 bucks sitting around, you can send me that too, kk?
Because it HAS to be said:
No kiddy porn, no dead animals, no beastiality, no furries (yet), no porn, no blatent rips offs from other sites, no pron, no watermarked material (unless it’s watermarked by the creator, so no college-humor marks, et al) if you do get it from someone else’s site, please be sure to send a link back to them, I’m sure they would appreciate the traffic, fandom, and server meltdown we can send them.
Also, please, no porn. NO PRON. Adult content melts servers faster then you would imagine possible. So, if I see it, it gets nuked, your account gets nuked, you get nuked, and no one ever knows that you even tried. There are no near misses, only fail.
Ok, I’m going back to my beer, someone IM me too, cause I’m bored : ICQ 5542507
Don’t Drive With Ted Kennedy
DANGER:
Do not accept ride from Ted Kennedy.
Why not? From the wikipedia article:
On July 18, 1969, after a party on Chappaquiddick Island near the island of Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, Kennedy, allegedly intoxicated, a claim which he denies, drove away with Mary Jo Kopechne as a passenger in his 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88. According to Kennedy, he made a wrong turn onto an unlit road that led to Dike Bridge (also spelled Dyke Bridge), a wooden bridge that was angled obliquely to the road, and drove over its side, which had no guardrail. The car plunged into tide-swept Poucha Pond (at that location a channel) and landed upside down under the water. Kopechne died, but as no autopsy was performed, precise cause of death is unknown. Kennedy claims he tried several times to swim down to reach her, then rested on the bank for several minutes before returning on foot to the Lawrence Cottage, where the party attended by Kopechne and other “boiler room girls” had occurred.
Joseph Gargan (Kennedy’s cousin) and party co-host Paul Markham then returned to the pond with Kennedy to try to rescue Kopechne. Though there was a telephone at the Lawrence Cottage, nobody called for help. When their efforts to rescue Kopechne failed, Kennedy decided to return to his hotel on the mainland. As the ferry had shut down for the night, Kennedy swam the short distance back to Edgartown.
Kennedy discussed the accident with several people, including his lawyer, before he contacted the police.
The next morning (July 19, 1969) the police recovered Kennedy’s car. Kopechne’s body was discovered by diver John Farrar, who observed that a large amount of air was released from the car when it was righted in the water, and that the trunk, when opened, was remarkably dry. These observations and others have led some to believe that Kopechne had not drowned, but suffocated in an air pocket within the car.
The incident quickly blossomed into a scandal. Kennedy was criticized for allegedly driving drunk, for failing to save Kopechne, for failing to summon help immediately and for contacting not the police but rather his lawyer first.
Kennedy entered a plea of guilty to a charge of leaving the scene of an accident after causing injury. He received a sentence of two months in jail, which was suspended. An Edgartown grand jury later reopened the investigation but did not return an indictment.
Kennedy’s critics and political opponents question whether justice was served in this case. The case resulted in much satire directed against Kennedy, including a National Lampoon page showing a floating Volkswagen Beetle with the remark that Kennedy would have been elected President had he been driving a Beetle that night; this satire allegedly resulted in legal action by Volkswagen complaining of unauthorized use of their trademark.
The Tech Support Caller Warning System
| Low Stupidity Condition | Signifies a caller offers little or no risk of causing the tech a cranial aneurysm. This is usually a calller who understand that most technical “secrets” are cleverly concealed in the mysterious things called “manuals.” Recommendation: Cherish these ones. |
| Suspicious Stupiditity Condition | Signifies a caller who is suspected of weapons-grade stupidity, without any real evidence. Recommendation: Send “inspectors.” |
| Elevated Stupidity Condition | Indicates a significant risk of stroke in the tech cause by a caller who insist that “there is no ‘any key’ on the keyboard” and that “there’s no way I can click on ‘you computer’ from over here.”Recommendation: Slow Breating exercisiese and a good punching bag. |
| High Stupidity Condition | Indicates a high risk of an apoplectic fit. callers insist that their operating system is “netscape,” their web browser is by “Logitech” and the specific application that blew up on them is “Microsoft.” (Heh) Recommendation: Join a Zen Monastery |
| Severe Stupidity Condition | Indicates the highest risk possible. Adrenaline overload and renal failure caused by callers who angrily state that they have a degree and are in fact very clever, and that the tech must “hop to it and fix things.” When asked to “open a window” they do in fact get up and open a window. Alas. Recommendation: a large bludgeoning instrument. For you or them, it’s really your choice. |
From our friends over at User Friendly
