Welcome To The Archive for "Text Jokes"! Yay!


word are funny, these might be among the funniest.



|



Imagine you’re a Bear
To be a cop they’re not willing
My wife tries to hide the bottle of ketchup from me but I can always spot it
Which Star Wars character would you never lend money
What do you call a deer with no eyes
When the nurses ask me how tall I am I tell them 510
Im desperately looking to make friends with someone called Moderation
I have a steroid addiction but there is one silver lining
If a man and woman need a marriage licence what do two women need
My grandfather is 85 and he still doesnt need glasses
How do you insult someone who is pledging a fraternity
A man goes into a job interview
A good joke is like a good fart
What do you call a guy standing next to a hole
I just realised its been years since I did the hokey pokey
What did the tall girl say to the short guy
My twin brother called me from prison
What do you call a disabled paedophile
Where do Police go on date night
What does T’challa put on his hot dog
My wife insists that I use the phrase make love instead of the f-word
I take viagra for my sunburn
In exchange for peace the US is offering North Korea a shipment of transparent rockets
What do you call a Jew who marries a Christian
A man in an interrogation room says Im not saying a word without my lawyer present
What do you call a modest insect
Koi fish will always travel in groups of four
I cant take my dog to the park anymore he keeps getting attached by ducks
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for 150 but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for 100
In my twenties I was known for two things Being single and my awful handwriting
Warm Suicide
My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction
What’s it called when a cowboy comes back to life
What’s least spoken language on earth
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe
Why did the little kid fall into the well
My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar
Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days
No Spoilers I don’t know why people are complaining Avengers Endgame was so long
Everyone thinks Thor is so great…
My first hooker
Does anyone know where I can go to hangout and meet people
How much room do you need to grow a fungus
Vending machines are kind of homophobic
My friend bought a dog from a blacksmith
Just got a job as senior director at Old McDonalds Farm
Why did the balloon go near the needle
I got tired of playing the triangle in my band
What is brown and rhymes with snoop
Procrastinators