This movie was the biggest disappointment of my life. I was so sad when this finished. I felt like somebody took a shit in chest and smothered all my hopes and dreams with their massive turd.
Not only would I never subject myself to the torture of watching this movie but Labeouf totally looks like a 1950’s greaser with a sword….Danny Zuko meets Robin Hood meets Hans Solo???
Not to ruin your childhoods or anything, but, yes, this movie sucked giant donkey balls on a pogo stick, but if you think the originals were any better, it’s just because you haven’t watched them in 20 years. (Same goes to Star Wars fans.)
What Lucas/Spielberg invented with Indiana Jones was the non-hero: the hero who doesn’t actually save the day, he just stands around while the day pretty much saves itself. Or in the case of Raiders, he does the incredibly heroic act of not looking while the deux ex machina (in this case, deux himself) saves the day for him.
Watch Raiders with the benefit of Rifftrax and believe me, Crystal Skull won’t look so bad in comparison.
@...Insanely Rational: You’re nuts if you think Raiders of the Lost Ark “sucked balls”. Its one of the most iconic, genre-defining movies of all time. Every single scene has been imitated, homaged and parodied a thousand times. Its an impressive work at every levels, like how the character of Indiana is completely defined by the end of the first scene with hardly any dialogue. Most films can’t pull off that kind of character development throughout the entire movie.
“the hero who doesn’t actually save the day, he just stands around while the day pretty much saves itself. ”
He doesn’t just stand around, he struggles, he fights, he risks his life. But ultimately he’s still just one man who’s part of a much larger scheme of the universe. That’s the point. Whether or not you agree with those philosophical implications, that’s hardly a flaw with the movie.
Gotta say – Labeouf ruins every movie I see him in.
He must take pipe from all the right Jews to ruin so many movies.
He better be on some kinda super-kosher, anal, birth control tablets is all I’m sayin’.
I liked Transformers,
I thought Shia LeBeouf played his character in that movie well.
I didn’t like Crystal Skull,
Shia LeBeouf contributed a disappointing performance to a movie that was disappointing on so many levels.
You’re kidding right? Transformers sucked! We don’t even see an Autobot until about an hour into the movie. The movie revolved around Shia LeDouche. If the movie was titled “Crappy Actor tries to bang girls light years out of his league”, then yes, it was a great movie, but I wanted to see some robots kicking ass.
Plus the fact that a 17-year old nerd kills Megatron is unforgivable.
I@...RedneckPanther:
I believe the writers said this was necessary buildup to the introduction of the robots. They then further built it up with just a few robots, then went en masse (ish). I think it makes sense, because while they were trying to pull in the existing fans of the franchise, they are also are trying to pull new viewers in, and sometimes that takes finesse to not leave a viewer confused. Bay said in some other interview that the first movie was about defining the Transformers and presenting their mythology and their war. Since it didn’t just pick up a G1 story, they had to make introductions.
I hope it is accurate when they say TF:RotF is more focused on the robots. I’m interested.
A point of note, that damn wheeled thing better not be The Fallen or I will fucking kill Bay and the fucking writers.
@...TrikYodz: I’m pretty sure he is holding it wrong. Looks like he’s got a finger around the blade; that piece is there to snag the other guy’s weapon.
Onward: It wasn’t so good, but I liked that it had every signature Lucas/Spielberg element in it possible, an amalgam of Indy, Star Wars and E.T. along with Biblical elements. Utter crap unto themselves, but mix them and it becomes so-bad-it’s-good.
@...dusturd: What he said… maybe we can also roast George Lucas on the resulting bonfire. Wait, we should do it the other way around; Lucas will burn longer.
because the movie wasn’t bad enough, and because even your personal computer should be an ad for something.
Way too much CGI – THANKS LUCAS!
Horrible Script
Mediocre Gags
Bad Jokes
Mutt Williams – Cool Character
Overall = A giant just under mediocre let down. I don’t blame Spielberg though, I blame Lucas.
How about no?
is he holding that wrong?
or is it just me?
@...Puulaahi:
Mutt was a cool character?
..
…
fuck you.
Proof positive that being drunk doesn’t make Shia LaBeauf a good actor or a useful part of any movie he is in.
Fuck Lucas, Fuck Spielberg for causing this raping of a good franchise.
@...tiki god: very much agreed
shitty actor, plus mundane character.
@...Puulaahi: Are you serious? The guy’s name is MUTT.
This movie was the biggest disappointment of my life. I was so sad when this finished. I felt like somebody took a shit in chest and smothered all my hopes and dreams with their massive turd.
I hated this movie so much, even after I was prepared to be disappointed.
Haha, something about Southpark and raping and Spielberg and Lucas making Dr. Jones squeal like a pig.
Not only would I never subject myself to the torture of watching this movie but Labeouf totally looks like a 1950’s greaser with a sword….Danny Zuko meets Robin Hood meets Hans Solo???
Not to ruin your childhoods or anything, but, yes, this movie sucked giant donkey balls on a pogo stick, but if you think the originals were any better, it’s just because you haven’t watched them in 20 years. (Same goes to Star Wars fans.)
What Lucas/Spielberg invented with Indiana Jones was the non-hero: the hero who doesn’t actually save the day, he just stands around while the day pretty much saves itself. Or in the case of Raiders, he does the incredibly heroic act of not looking while the deux ex machina (in this case, deux himself) saves the day for him.
Watch Raiders with the benefit of Rifftrax and believe me, Crystal Skull won’t look so bad in comparison.
Insert Lex Luthor “WRONG!!!”.
@lucky_crunchy: Fuck you. Danny Zuko is awesome.
I’m not dissing on D Zuke. I’m dissing on Labeouf and his entirely lame careers moves……and outfits.
@...Insanely Rational: Just watched Last Crusade last night, still remains one of my favorite movies of all time.
And for the record, MST3K is funny. The guys who made it are funny. They can chop anything to pieces, especially action movies. Get over yourself.
@Insanely Rational: By “inventing the non hero”, don’t you mean “using the Pulp Hero format”.
@...Insanely Rational: You’re nuts if you think Raiders of the Lost Ark “sucked balls”. Its one of the most iconic, genre-defining movies of all time. Every single scene has been imitated, homaged and parodied a thousand times. Its an impressive work at every levels, like how the character of Indiana is completely defined by the end of the first scene with hardly any dialogue. Most films can’t pull off that kind of character development throughout the entire movie.
“the hero who doesn’t actually save the day, he just stands around while the day pretty much saves itself. ”
He doesn’t just stand around, he struggles, he fights, he risks his life. But ultimately he’s still just one man who’s part of a much larger scheme of the universe. That’s the point. Whether or not you agree with those philosophical implications, that’s hardly a flaw with the movie.
Gotta say – Labeouf ruins every movie I see him in.
He must take pipe from all the right Jews to ruin so many movies.
He better be on some kinda super-kosher, anal, birth control tablets is all I’m sayin’.
Man, Shia LeBeouf is such an incredible douche.
I liked Transformers,
I thought Shia LeBeouf played his character in that movie well.
I didn’t like Crystal Skull,
Shia LeBeouf contributed a disappointing performance to a movie that was disappointing on so many levels.
Kill Shia LaDouche with fire
@jediadept
You’re kidding right? Transformers sucked! We don’t even see an Autobot until about an hour into the movie. The movie revolved around Shia LeDouche. If the movie was titled “Crappy Actor tries to bang girls light years out of his league”, then yes, it was a great movie, but I wanted to see some robots kicking ass.
Plus the fact that a 17-year old nerd kills Megatron is unforgivable.
I@...RedneckPanther:
I believe the writers said this was necessary buildup to the introduction of the robots. They then further built it up with just a few robots, then went en masse (ish). I think it makes sense, because while they were trying to pull in the existing fans of the franchise, they are also are trying to pull new viewers in, and sometimes that takes finesse to not leave a viewer confused. Bay said in some other interview that the first movie was about defining the Transformers and presenting their mythology and their war. Since it didn’t just pick up a G1 story, they had to make introductions.
I hope it is accurate when they say TF:RotF is more focused on the robots. I’m interested.
A point of note, that damn wheeled thing better not be The Fallen or I will fucking kill Bay and the fucking writers.
Oh, and while I enjoyed watching Indiana have another movie, it did kinda suck.
@...TrikYodz: I’m pretty sure he is holding it wrong. Looks like he’s got a finger around the blade; that piece is there to snag the other guy’s weapon.
Onward: It wasn’t so good, but I liked that it had every signature Lucas/Spielberg element in it possible, an amalgam of Indy, Star Wars and E.T. along with Biblical elements. Utter crap unto themselves, but mix them and it becomes so-bad-it’s-good.
@...dusturd: What he said… maybe we can also roast George Lucas on the resulting bonfire. Wait, we should do it the other way around; Lucas will burn longer.
Fencing: Ur doin it rong.
What should’ve happened to Lucas.