“Hi! My name’s Sarah. I don’t really know what Mr. McCain wants me to do, but what I DO know is that I hate women having the right to decide what goes on inside their own bodies; I know I want stone-age religious mythology force-fed to kids in schools; I know I think it’s wrong to teach kids about sex so that even more kids will end up like my own darling daughter who’s such a teenage-mother role model for the rest of America’s youth and I know that that ‘global warming’ thing the tree-huggers talk about is just a fantasy caused by having pieces of broken-off ice-shelf cooling down their brains as it floats south to melt.

So…thank God I’m cute! Cos then you’ll spend the election campaign coming up with stuff like ‘VPILF’ and telling yourselves I’m just a harmless soccer mum at heart; until one day you wake up with me in office. And then you can kiss your rights, your environment and your fucking asses goodbye.”