We all know that could never happen because animals can never truly give their consent. Sure, we kill, hunt for fun, neuter, breed for food, experiment upon, and do innumerable other things to animals without even pretending to think about asking for their consent, but we have to draw the line somewhere, right?

And don’t come here saying that in cases when it’s a female human with a male animal, it’s pretty damn easy to tell if there’s consent or not. That’s just… THERE ARE NO WOMEN ZOOPHILES GODDAMMIT! That’s our truth and we’re sticking to it.

And definitively don’t come with your anti-humanist nonsense that higher animals like great apes and dolphins are more than capable of learning human language, understand the concept of marriage, and deciding, of their own will, to take part of it either with members of their own species or with humans. MARRIAGE IS JUST FOR GODDAMN HUMANS TO MARRY OTHER HUMANS AND THAT’S IT, YOU HEAR THAT, YOU FREAK!!!