Ugh, this fucker. When tracking him down, I was under police orders to essentially hide in my house. They finally got the fucker the next town over, after he’d run over his own brother to escape.

AND THEN TEENAGE GIRLS DECIDED HE WAS INNOCENT BECAUSE HE WAS “HOT.” THE SAME TEENAGE GIRLS WE HAVE (FOR SOME REASON) DECIDED TO ALLOW RE-WRITING THE ENTIRE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SO THAT THE WORD “LITERALLY” NOW MEANS THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

And we had to go and sentence him to death. Because making him a martyr was TOTES not what he wanted all along.