You know what all Christians should do? Kill their own children. And I’m not being mean, I’m just using logic+christian ideology to conclude that it is the smartest thing (for a Christian) to do.

Here’s the thing: children are exempt from moral judgment. If a child dies, he’ll go to heaven no matter what he did in his/her short life (according to Christians). So killing a child is the same as giving him an automatic ticket to heaven. If you allow a child to live too long, you’re risking him becoming “evil” and ending up suffering for an eternity in hell, so the kindest, more morally correct, most rational thing a believing Christian can do is to kill all children.

And I know what you’re thinking: “sure, the child will invariably go to heaven, but what about ME?” First, let me congratulate you on your selfishness. And then let me remind you that you can just ask for forgiveness afterwards, and since all you were trying to do was a morally pure act with no evil or selfishness in your heart (ie, sending children to heaven even at the risk of going to hell yourself), I’m sure your god will instantly forgive you.

But since there’s no god or heaven, then all that reasoning is automatically invalid, and killing children is a bad thing.