Pun 1:
There was a pun competition. I submitted 10 puns but the first one didn’t win, nor the second. In fact no pun in ten did.

Pun 2:
A pacific island chief used to visit all the tribes he controlled on a regular basis, and each of these tribes used to try and out do each other with gifts given to the chief. One of the tribes one day gave the chief a throne, which he really liked. Word soon spread that he liked the throne, so each tribe gave him a bigger and better throne. He had so many thrones he had to build a mezzanine floor in his grass hut. One night while he was sleeping the upper floor collapsed from the weight and crushed and killed the chief sleeping below it. The moral of the story is that people in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

This is not a pun, just a joke.

A man walks into a bar, looks at the bartender and says, “I want a drink, but I have no money.”
The bartender says, “I’ll make you a deal. I have a donkey out back. If you can make him laugh I will get you a drink on the house.”
The man walks out back, whispers in the donkeys ear and the donkey starts laughing. He walks back in and the bartender says, “I don’t know how you did that, but here is a drink.”
Some time goes by and the man has finished his drink. He asks the bartender for another round.
The bartender says, “Alright, if you can make my donkey cry, I will buy you another drink.”
The man walks back outside and stands in front of the donkey. All of the sudden the donkey starts crying.
When the man walks back into the bar the bartender says, “Alright man, you gotta tell me your secret.”
The man says to the bartender, “Well, when you wanted me to make the donkey laugh, I told him that I had a bigger penis than him. When you wanted me to make him cry, I proved it to him.”