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“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
Richard Feynman

“Dammit… Don’t you dare ask God to help me.”
Joan Crawford. This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.

“I see black light.”
Victor Hugo

“I really need a therapist.”
Christopher Grace, an actor who killed himself during a matinee performance of Greece

“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”
Oscar Wilde

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.”
General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying it

“Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”
George Bernard Shaw

“Get these fucking nuns away from me.”
Norman Douglas