“A” I’m in agreement with. She looks like she may be legitimately retarded, and while there’s nothing wrong with that in a strict “Would I stick my dick in it?” sense, not being able to prove consent is a turn-off, so “A” is out.

“B” looks like a screamer, which is always good providing you can prove the aforementioned consent, so she’s in.

CDE look like the girls everyone figured where fucking everyone left right & center, but in truth don’t lose their virginity until they’re 24. While not renowned for being terribly skilled, or even lively, in the sack, if anything goes awkwardly and seriously embarrassingly wrong (which is often does), they’re the only ones who will believe “No, it’s totally normal” as an excuse. So they are so very in.

“F” was the one who was fucking everyone in high school, and likely gargles semen instead of Listerine in the morning. Nothing special in the sack, but expects you to act like she’s the freakiest sex kitten you’ve ever been with, and when you can’t pretend that her lying there like a wet towel is something out of the Karma Sutra: Unrated Edition, the inevitable drama just isn’t worth it. So “F” is out.

“G” will give you the dirtiest, most depraved sex you could ever imagine, and you will wind up crying in the shower afterwards, desperately trying to get clean, while both abjectly terrified and insanely aroused over the thought that she might call again. So “G” is in.

“H” will bite. And scratch. And make you bleed. While “G” will crush your soul and shatter your manhood, “H” won’t be satisfied until she breaks your body. While that whole “pleasure=pain” think is mostly for freaks and weirdos, the agony “H” will inflict upon you will also drive you to the highest reaches of ecstasy, so she’s in.

I have found, after extensive and exhaustive research, that chicks who are wearing baggy plaid shirts tend to wicked bodies, low self-esteem, and are the most vicious kind of demon in the sack. So “I” is in.

I’m not sure what to think about “J”. If she’s standing normally, something is fucked up right there. If she’s semi-squatting like she’s trying to take a shit, she might be pretty decent, when she’s standing normally. That does beg the question of why she’s posing for a picture like she needs to shit. If she has some latent “shit = sexy” thing going on, that can go fucking wrong, fucking fast, and risking that sort of thing isn’t worth it for a chick who can’t even look sexy while taking a shit. “J” is out.

TL;DR: AF & J are out. I think up crazy shit while high.