This may seem like the most asinine thing to complain about, but why most movie/game/etc creators torment us by announcing things so far in advance? I understand wanting to make sure the hype train leaves its station on time, but really a month-long blitz should be just as effective as a multi-month grueling campaign, no? The worst offender I can remember is the Simpsons movie. I saw the poster for it when I was at the theater, went, “Dude! Sweet!” and then saw that the release date was FOURTEEN FUCKING MONTHS LATER!

Now take this movie. It looks quite entertaining. It’s not out for another 3.5 months. Three and a half months of waiting for something feels like fucking forever, and once it does finally come out, it’ll never live up to your built up expectations. So the best thing is to forget about it until closer to the release date. Problem is, I’ll likely wind up forgetting about it until sometime in April when someone says, “Hey have you seen Battle: LA yet?” Then I’ll be like, “Yet? It’s out now? What the fuck?”

Also, fuck that little watermark in the corner that says “Coming Soon”. There are very few situations where 14 weeks constitutes “soon”, and a movie release is not one of them.

Personally, I think movies should be announced with great fanfare the day before they come out. All of a sudden this trailer will pop out of nowhere and be like, “HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THIS AWESOME SHIT YOU CAN GO LOOK AT!” and people will be like “HOLY CRAP THAT IS AWESOME SHIT I WANT TO LOOK AT WHEN CAN I LOOK AT IT?!” and the trailer will be like “FUCKING TOMORROW!” and people will be like “FUCKING YES!!!”

Three months from now, my current excitement will likely have dwindled to the point where I’ll just end up waiting for a decent torrent and watching it at home.