Casedad sweated nervously in his stall; his own private nirvana-the one place where he could find solace from his familial prison. He had taken to utilizing new and uncharted public restrooms in his quest to escape… him.

Casedad had been forced out of his comfort zone:

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Growing up, he had never had much problem making use of his home lavatory. But in the past few years, he had developed an uneasy feeling in his home bathroom; something he could not place his finger on, but some unholy spirit seemed to have abruptly taken up residence in his bathroom. He felt it had something to do with the mirror, but he could find no evidence of foul play. Only something dark and vain which lurked at him from the magical depths of the mirror’s soul.

Being a handyman, he decided the logical course of action would be to simply replace the mirror, and so he installed new glass in the bathroom, and dug a trench in his backyard. in this trench he lowered the mirror, and covered it with a foot of concrete, then put the dirt back in the hole.

His efforts seemed to work. Casedad found he could take a shit in peace in his own house again. But as time rolled on, his daily constitutional got progressively more and more unsettling, until one day he found himself sitting there, trying to enjoy a good dump, and the darkness called to him from the mirror. Yes, it was definitely the mirror, he thought to himself.

And so, he repeated his process of installing a new mirror, and burying the old. when he would dig the hole to put the mirror in, he could feel the evil wafting up through the earth and the concrete. What could be causing such evil to concentrate in his bathroom mirror?

After months of this, Casedad realized that he would have to take a different approach. It was getting so he could not shit in his own house. And so, he decided the answer would be to add another bathroom to his home. His remodeling skills were up to it, and so he set out to complete his task. Eureka! Weeks of hard work finally paid off, and he was able to shit in peace. Casedad was glad he had sprung for an king sized commode.

But then one day… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was there. He could feel it. There had to be a solution to this problem. Suddenly, it came to him: he would just use public restrooms. This definitely had it’s drawbacks, but not much is worse than not being able to shit.

So began a new chapter in Casedad’s adventure. Everyday, he would stop at a coffee shop or a gas station or a mcdonalds, and take a painful dump. then he would go about his day. Sadly, he was never fully comfortable in these bathrooms, and felt twinges of the evil presence even there. Department store bathrooms were the worst. He couldn’t even enter a TJ MAxx or a Ross.

His dilemma was profound. “What was causing such evil to populate the bathrooms of San Jose”, he thought, as he sat there, forcing a very awkward turd out. It splashed water up onto his left ass cheek. And then he had an epiphany: he would travel out of town to take his shits.

OMG this worked. No matter which restroom he found himself in, there was no trace of the evil presence as long as he went out of town to do his business!! Life was finally looking up for Casedad…

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And so we return to our hero, nervously shitting in his stall. What could cause this? Why would the evil show up here, in this place, at this time? He felt the presence getting stronger, growing and getting closer. He heard the doorknob to the restroom jiggle, then turn, then the creeeeeeaaaaak of the door as it opened.

A wave of pure faggotry overtook him. YES, this was the source. It had found him. Fear began to send it’s tendrils through his heart, and its grip was tight. As he trembled, he peeked out through the crack in the stall’s door… and there he saw a man he knew! The boy he had raised alone, motherless, unloved… Stood there before the mirror in the bathroom. What was he doing here? And then he saw his son take something out of his pocket and fiddle with it. what could it be? All that was visible to him through the crack was his son’s back. Suddenly Casedad saw his boy raise his hand and… *pa-chik* *pa-chik* wirr *Pa-chik*

“Pictures? He’s taking pictures of himself in a public bathroom?”, Casedad thought to himself as his anus sealed itself shut…