It’s been a few days no, and it looks… different.
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I’m so sorry. Burns are the only kind of wounds that terrify me no matter at what stage they are. I have a very small scar from a burn on the back of one hand (no it wasn’t Tyler) and the way I got it scared me for life.
Do go on.
It’s not a nice story. I was visiting a friend in a neighbour town, she is the only person I know from there but it’s fairly small so I wasn’t afraid of going alone even though I knew most of the people my age were Nazis. We ended up drinking and I forgot about the time so I missed the last train. Because I had to be home before midnight I decided to walk home in the dark, it’s about 6km. Long story short, I was ambushed by a wild pack of Nazis. None of them did anything actually, only one girl who was tremendously obese grabbed me, normally I could have easily outrun them but obese people are strong, especially when they take you by surprise. I’m sure all she knew about me was my Hebrew name and that was apparently enough to do what she did, she was smoking and burned my hand with her cigarette after she beat me up. I ran like hell once she let go of me and I was mostly numb so it didn’t hurt that much, in the beginning. On my way I threw up a lot but once the alcohol wore off, it hurt so much I swear I wanted to just cut my hand off. I think it’s because she burned it for so long on the same spot and it was really deep. But the surprise of feeling the pain so suddenly out of nowhere was brutal. As a result of this I’m afraid of ironing clothes and cooking with oil, anything where you can get burned. My only regret is that I didn’t yell at her what I was thinking. I wanted to say, you’re no Übermensch, you’re an Übercow! Damn staircase wit.
*internet hug* That sounds scary as hell. Fat bitch deserves a beating of her own… several actually.
Lamb, you are closest, go find this gargantuan bitch.
Do nothing, but let us know where she lives. Over the coming months and years we will deploy several psychological attacks to slowly chip away any self-respect she has, leaving her frightened and pathetic. We will turn her friends against her and make her doubt her own worth. Then, when she is at her lowest we will get her to apologize to dieA and denounce her evil ways.
Then we will drop a piano on her.
Or we can just kick that bitch in the balls.
My plan took longer to write, and is therefore a better plan.
natedog reporting in. WE MUST DESTROY THE THREAT
Nate, you will be in charge of psychological attack #1. Daily delivered pictures of casemods with forged love letters from our favourite little whipping boy.
Depending on her mental strength, there may be no need for psychological attack #2, so we can skip straight to the apology-piano.
ColombianMonkey (HitmanMonkey) Reporting in. What are your orders captain?
Monkey, you will be in charge of procurement of a piano. This may seem trivial, but the entire plan rests on it. Anything from the Steinway Grande piano collection will do.
he’s not a captain, he’s a colonel
amateur concussive arsonist reporting in.
orders?
I don’t know what a concussive arsonist is, so I’m gonna order you to get provisions. We will need:
* 18 pounds or Semtex
* Road flares
* Walkie-talkies
* Enough baked beans to last 8 men for a month (try to get the ones with the little Frankfurters in them)
* 2 ply toilet paper
* Copious amounts of alcohol
* One of those goats that pass out when you frighten them
* Eye-bleach.
The last one is particularity important for Nate, as he is going to have to see many pictures of casemods while executing psychological attack #1
any combined application of “concussion” and “arson” is within my area of expertise.
However, many of these ingredients are key to my art, so I shall simply
double up on my already copious supply.
(my Eye Bleach stock is low, as many of my performance pieces culminate in pasty bureaucrats running away, mostly nude.)
Sir, I i request some bacon bits in my beans sir?
Monkey, the enemy is somehow preventing direct reply to your message, but I will grant your request for bacon bits if you can get things moving on the apology-piano of wrath.
I remember you telling me about this but not in such detail. You should invest in these i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb8/djrhymez/gunshow_9a.jpg.
I remember getting burned by a cigarette by my aunt on my neck by accident. Luckily it was only for a second.
That’s horrible dieA!
I vote we do a number 7 on her. And no, you probably don’t want to know what it is, but I can guarantee that it will hurt alot more than the burn. Would say a number 13, but that one is cruelty to animals.
How the fuck did you manage that?
Oh, and “ouch”.
Set fire to myself expecting another result.
First picture where my skin looks melted… it was, I’m still pealing it off, one week after the fire… fuck.
Wow! The tattoos are all gone!
Didn’t have any on my forearm, luckily.
i told you my load was hot, Lamb. SUPER HOT. but no, you didnt believe me
i see that you wear the same type of toeless socks that i do.
toeless sock you say , this has peaked my intrest.
nevermind I use to wear that style aswell .
proceed to explain your story Mr.Lamb, I’m definitely intrigued.
I’ll share my burn story also.
I was around 16 years old and on a wonderful new years eve i was on the porch with my father and my brother shooting some roman candle fireworks. Usually the ball shoots out of the front but, one ball decided to backfire…
Luckily the ball itself never hit my stomach but the sparks burned my stomach completely, my dad rushed me too the hospital only to realize they were out of certain supplies to treat the burn lol..
just rub cocaine on it next time.
Put rubbing alcohol on a shirt and set fire to it. To my dismay it went down my sleeve and the shirt caught fire, instead of just the rubbing alcohol.
I ripped my shirt off and no one was the wiser if it was part of the act or I actually burned myself. Except people that went to the bath room and saw me cursing my own stupidity.
Yup, hundreds of people and nobody could tell I actually screwed myself over.
Maybe I’ll post some follow up pictures of how they healed on the forum is anybody cares.
fire bad, FIRE BAD!
I honestly could not care less about this.
Why post a comment? Here, have a “no homo” internet hug: [no homo internet hug]
did you try to deep fry a frozen turkey?
That would have been stupid, no I set fire to myself intentionally. Duh.
I pop that shit, rather have a scar than a bulbous growth on my arm
I did, the next morning.
Oh why did I click this.
That’s called a 2nd-degree burn. There’s probably some cream junk from the pharmacy you can get, otherwise just let them heal. I’ve had them before, and since they aren’t big it’s probably no big deal.
Damn, lamb. This is a perfect visual for the Public Service Announcement “Use the Correct Lubricant for the Job at Hand”
Maybe you should lance that thing.
roast lamb coming up 😀
I burned my hand working in a blacksmiths last year. Shockingly enough, black hot metal looks the same as cold metal. Still have the tool-shaped scar too… =S
A medication, that I was taking a while back, made me extremely sensitive to sunlight; I learned this by mowing the lawn shirtless.
I had first and second degree burns all over my back and shoulders; I still have some some of the scars.
My (sorta) Burn Story
I was 13 and it was my job to cook dinner. We had one of those old stoves; you had to turn on the gas and then light it w/ a match. I turned on the gas and there was a knock at the door. I answered the door, completely forgetting about the gas. It was my friend; I invited her in. We walked in to the kitchen and I proceeded to turn on the gas that was already on. I opened up the drawer under the oven and KABOOM!!!! I was thrown hard into the back wall, wind knocked out of me and no longer had any eyebrows, eyelashes and my bangs were gone. Damn that hurt.
Hubby’s story is worse, his was a chemical burn that landed him in the Cornell Burn Center for weeks.
omg srsly? you blew your kitchen up? that’s pretty badass
Not really. The stove was fine, it was just a big fireball that slammed me far enough away that I really only had minor burn damage.
Just enough to make an awesome funny story, but not enough to be terrible. 🙂
‘Zactly. I’ve also been it by a city bus. You know, this topic would make a good forum topic. I’ll start one if no one else has; I haven’t been to the forums in a while and have…*checks google reader*…896 unread forum comments.
Fucking bite down on some shit and pop all those damn blisters. Everyone around you doesn’t want to see that shit.
Also, I hate burns. I’m a total bitch when I get one. Yeah, I talk bit but I’m a fucker, so go figure.
Anyways, pop that shit. Pop it good.
Popping blisters does not hurt at all. Hurts after, but right when you do it all you feel is the warm liquid getting out from under your skin.
It hurts less if you go in through skin that is ok and drain through there. Closes quicker too.
How can something hurt less if it doesn’t hurt at all? *rubs chin*
Oh yeah, my arm if ok now. Gonna have a few scars and some discoloured skin, but hey. Stupid is what stupid does.