I often wonder if his dad is like ‘I wonder what my douchey son is up too…’
–

These days, Casedad was unnerved. Thoughts lingered in his mind as to what to do to the ‘man’ that lived down that hallway. He gently drummed his fingers on the IKEA table his son picked up at a garage sale three weeks ago, each finger making its own distinct thump.

The sounds of the camera and fake plastic gun had ended long ago, which only meant that his son was using their dial-up internet connection to post his pictures to some poor unfortunate site.

But what site was it? Casedad never bothered to ask. He only hoped that it wasn’t a gay porn site, or even worse: A craiglist ad for prostitution.

Curiosity got the better of him, so he rose from his chair and took a puff off of one of his carefully rolled Marijuana cigarettes. He slowly stalked down the hall, stopping at the door and gently turning the knob.

He poked his head inside, seeing that his son had his back to him, eyes fixated on the computer screen. Casedad looked to the screen and saw that it was a picture of his son on some site with what appeared to be lots of comments.

Were they negative? Were they positive?

They had to be positive, he thought. Why else would he post so many pictures of himself? They must be praising him to make him post more. Surely he wouldn’t post tons of pictures of himself if they were telling him he was a moron, or that he was a self loving asshole, or that the things he bought so often were indeed cheap and tasteless.

Thoughts swirled, but the reality of it all came to an end when Casedad noticed that Casemods was moving his wrist and shoulder up and down in a rhythmic motion. He held his breath, disgust sinking in. His son was whacking off to pictures of himself!

But then the sound of dice hit the table. Casedad then realized what was happening. Casemods wasn’t spanking his monkey, he was rolling dice!

‘Thank you, Lord’ Casedad whispered to himself. He squinted his eyes to see the dice rolling, then noticed something peculiar.

‘Odd, those two dice keep landing on 7 or 11 every time. Why, those are loaded dice! And not even good ones! I must tell my son what a tool he is for wasting his money on such trash!’

Or at least he should. Thats when the Marijuana kicked in, and Casedad no longer gave a fuck. He walked back to his chair and turned on the tv. Dukes of Hazard was on, and he was not going to miss one second of it.