A sandwich walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please” he says. To which the barman replies “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food”.
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A Times New Roman walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please” he says. To which the barman replies “Sorry sir, we don’t serve your type”.
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A man with a pick axe and shovel walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please” he says. To which the barman replies “Sorry sir, we don’t serve miners”.
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A man walks into a bar with a goat. “Pint of your finest please,” he says. To which the barman replies, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve kids.”
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A room-temperature superconductor walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please.” To which the barman replies “Sorry, we don’t serve room-temperature superconductors.” So the room-temperature superconductor left with no resistance.
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NASCAR walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please.” To which the barman replies “Sorry, we don’t serve your race here.”
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Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar… and doesn’t.
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An unending sequence of numbers walks into a bar. One of them exclaims “c is 1 today! Drinks to celebrate”. The bartender serves an infinite number of drinks and says, “Okay, you guys are set”.
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The bartender asks “What would you like?”
A tachyon walks into a bar.
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A mushroom walks into a bar. “Pint of your finest please,” he says. To which the barman replies, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve your kind.” The mushroom replies, “Why not? I’m a fun-guy!”
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Robot walks into a bar. Orders a drink, lays down a bill. Bartender says, “Hey we don’t serve robots.” And the robot says, “No, but someday you will.”
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A gold atom walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and yells.
“Aye, You! Get out of here!”
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A Helium atom walks into a bar, and the bartender says to him
“I’m sorry, we don’t serve Helium here.”
But the Helium doesn’t react.
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Two neutrinos go through a bar…
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A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender angrily says “We don’t serve strings here!”
String: “But all I want is a drink!”
Bartender: “I said no strings!”
Dejectedly, the string goes outside. Thinking for a moment, the string then ruffles up his hair and around his feet. He then convulses and wraps himself around all crazy like. He then walks back into the bar.
The bartender is aghast. “Aren’t you the same string I just kicked out of here?”
“No, sir. I’m a frayed knot.”
reposted from www.tikiwebgroup.com
A neutron walks into a bar and says, “How much for a drink?”. Bartender says, “For you: no charge.”
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop
A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve viruses here.” The virus replaces the virus, and says, “Now you do.”
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A rabbi, a preacher, a priest, and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender syas, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
Tiki walks into a bar and orders a bottle of rum and a coke.
Some of the funniest stuff I’d read in a while.