I’m sure no one will believe me, so I don’t know why I’m even posting this, but I fucked her.
It was almost exactly a year ago. I was visiting a friend who goes to moose hunting school in Wasilla. We went out to a Eskimo dance club (which is one of the few hillbilly things I do well). After dancing a bit, she told me her name and there was a pause, like I should be impressed, and she said, “You know, I’m the one with the special needs child that I just thank Jesus for every day and also I’m the one who ran with the guy for that office which is where the President is in Washington and really power is fungible so you see my executive experience and things of that nature of running a town and being governor and other similar things in places like that are why I’m running for the thing we were talking about earlier and I just feel so blessed by Jesus to have this opportunity and did I mention my precious gift from god my little retarded baby and my other children Bandage, Croupier, Slingbox, Pants, and Gubbins who are also gifts from god and things of that nature and such forth and so on…†And was I was like, “Jesus Fucking Christ, don’t you ever shut your mouth you stupid cunt?†And she laughed and started flapping her jaw again. So I ended up giving her some roofies and dragging her out to the alley, and well…
Anyway, I didn’t realize who she was because I tuned her out while she was babbling, until I got home and tried to look-up her number on-line. I think I’ve still got some picture on my old cell phone. I’ll check when I get home.
Nice twist, but nothing will be as epic as the first time. So long ago and ripped off so many times, can’t even remember who it was? mAgnUS?
Howie Feltersnatch (#262)
15 years ago
@...Xp: Nope. No clue who it was what picture it was attached to, only that whoever started it took a lot of shit in the subsequent comments. A shiny new quarter for anyone who can find the first occurrence of “I don’t know why I’m post this, but I fucked her” on M[c]S!
@...pantsoffdanceoff: No. No I wouldn’t. I’ve had a few older ladies in my time, but I only hate fuck people who I whom I’m kinda pissed at, not want to see taken off the face of the Earth.
@...dieAntagonista: Because he didn’t “prove” it true because it wouldn’t be right. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of it wouldn’t be right to do so w/out her permission.
@...nyokki: Haha no he didn’t say that. Howie Feltersnatch linked the post. He was going to post the pictures but everyone was being stupid so he didn’t.:p
Anyway, I’ve got the pics, but now that I’ve thought it through, I don’t want to start some Vanessa Hudgens type controversy. If someone can come up with a 100% way that I could post them without them without ending up all over 4chan in 24 hours,I’ll do it.
Perhaps I’m misinterpreting it; I don’t know who Vanessa Hudgens is or what the controversy was, but it looked to me like he was being a gentleman and a good human being to me.
“The only one where she’s looking right at the camera, she’s just wearing her bra and there’s some “peakageâ€. I could maybe crop it or something.
Even if I did post pics, you could just say it was a ’shop.”
That’s the reason why he didn’t post them. Hey he’s definitely a good human being, I’d think he’s a good human being even if he had posted the pictures.
But it was all just about, “I fucked her” and proving it.
I can see your chins from mine.
I’m sure no one will believe me, so I don’t know why I’m even posting this, but I fucked her.
It was almost exactly a year ago. I was visiting a friend who goes to moose hunting school in Wasilla. We went out to a Eskimo dance club (which is one of the few hillbilly things I do well). After dancing a bit, she told me her name and there was a pause, like I should be impressed, and she said, “You know, I’m the one with the special needs child that I just thank Jesus for every day and also I’m the one who ran with the guy for that office which is where the President is in Washington and really power is fungible so you see my executive experience and things of that nature of running a town and being governor and other similar things in places like that are why I’m running for the thing we were talking about earlier and I just feel so blessed by Jesus to have this opportunity and did I mention my precious gift from god my little retarded baby and my other children Bandage, Croupier, Slingbox, Pants, and Gubbins who are also gifts from god and things of that nature and such forth and so on…†And was I was like, “Jesus Fucking Christ, don’t you ever shut your mouth you stupid cunt?†And she laughed and started flapping her jaw again. So I ended up giving her some roofies and dragging her out to the alley, and well…
Anyway, I didn’t realize who she was because I tuned her out while she was babbling, until I got home and tried to look-up her number on-line. I think I’ve still got some picture on my old cell phone. I’ll check when I get home.
Did she earn those beads by showing her tits?
everyone makes fun of her, but when it comes down to it you would still fuck her…I know I would and I would let her kids watch.
I hope a Pyroclastic density current takes her out…
@...Howie Feltersnatch: Tagged with awesome and copied for future plagiarism.
@...Howie Feltersnatch:
Once again, Howie creates an unstoppable mass of epic win.
@...Howie Feltersnatch:
Nice twist, but nothing will be as epic as the first time. So long ago and ripped off so many times, can’t even remember who it was? mAgnUS?
@...Xp: Nope. No clue who it was what picture it was attached to, only that whoever started it took a lot of shit in the subsequent comments. A shiny new quarter for anyone who can find the first occurrence of “I don’t know why I’m post this, but I fucked her” on M[c]S!
@...Xp: reboot i believe and the girl from the oc.
Are those Southern Comfort beads? I have the same ones.
@...asdf: Was it this one:
www.myconfinedspace.com/2008/08/11/rachel-bilson-nsfw/
If so, shiny quarter for you!
reboot is made entirely of fail for that comment, by the way. Megafail.
@...pantsoffdanceoff: No. No I wouldn’t. I’ve had a few older ladies in my time, but I only hate fuck people who I whom I’m kinda pissed at, not want to see taken off the face of the Earth.
I’d prefer to fuck her daughters.
Ok, maybe not the youngest one.
Could we please just never see this woman ever again? Please, pretty please?
@...Howie Feltersnatch:
Wrong. reboot is made of win. He’s almost like some kind of legend. The very first MCS meme, come on you’re just jealous.
Bloody heathen.
@...dieAntagonista: I believe reboot and it showed that he’s a good guy.
@...nyokki: I believe him too, but I’m not sure how it showed that he’s a good guy haha. Maybe that he must be good in bed.
@...dieAntagonista: Because he didn’t “prove” it true because it wouldn’t be right. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of it wouldn’t be right to do so w/out her permission.
@...nyokki: Haha no he didn’t say that. Howie Feltersnatch linked the post. He was going to post the pictures but everyone was being stupid so he didn’t.:p
reboot’s a pimp yo.
@...dieAntagonista:
Perhaps I’m misinterpreting it; I don’t know who Vanessa Hudgens is or what the controversy was, but it looked to me like he was being a gentleman and a good human being to me.
@...nyokki:
Yeah but then:
“The only one where she’s looking right at the camera, she’s just wearing her bra and there’s some “peakageâ€. I could maybe crop it or something.
Even if I did post pics, you could just say it was a ’shop.”
That’s the reason why he didn’t post them. Hey he’s definitely a good human being, I’d think he’s a good human being even if he had posted the pictures.
But it was all just about, “I fucked her” and proving it.