Or:
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@dieAntagonista: The simple answer to the insults question is that your a masochist. I can elaborate if you’d like.
As for the strange urge to bury your face in perfume scented boobs… did you have any relatives, or any family friends who wore particularly strong scents growing up? Did you meet anyone who fit that description? (If you can remember, chances are it probably impacted you in some way. I’m guessing an aunt or grandma who had a bad habit of hugging you a little to hard.)
And surprisingly enough, that type of thinking is pretty normal.
And as for the physical stuff… hmmm. Ok, well…
You have low blood pressure, most likely the result of poor circulation. (Actually pretty common in women.) There are a whole lot of strange holistic ways to increase blood pressure. Really, the problem is the temperature of your showers. Low blood pressure usually correlates with low body heat(and bad circulation). The problem with your ridiculously hot showers is simply that you are rapidly increasing your body heat, and therefore your blood pressure. You aren’t used to it, so your heart rate increases, and you start to feel a weird ambiguous pain. So decrease your shower temperature, look into meditation, or start a high-red meats diet.
@...Dr.Devine: she’s veggi
@...dieAntagonista: And in the meantime, a good shower buddy. One that will always be ready with a loofah. I’m sure Luke and the good Dr. Dick Devine agent double ooooooooooohh Nine will be more than willing to handle that until a permanent solution to your problem has been found.
@...ColombianMonkey: Shhh. I got him VERY drunk….he doesn’t know I’m NOT an underage bisexual girl. Or that I freelance for the USDJ SW area cybersexcrimes unit….
Poor Devine….Not soo devine anymore
RULE 6: DOCTOR DEVINE IS ALWAYS THE DEVINEIEST HE CAN BE.
And alright, so rule out the red meat.
@...Dr.Devine: who said you can make rules? i couldn’t even appeal.
When I talk in all caps lock, I’m makin rules.
RULE 7: CAPS LOCK IS CODE FOR RULE DECLARATION. RULES MAY NOT BE CONTESTED, UNLESS NUMBER ISSUES COME UP. NEWFAGS MAY NOT MAKE RULES.
There, all better.
@...Dr.Devine: Your Rule #7 is in violation of the rules of the internet (Rule #39). remove any relation with Caps or a lawsuit will be filed against you.
@...dieAntagonista: Hm. Man, I’m probably going to regret this, but here goes….
“Atheist are closed minded and have no heart to follow or believe in something greater then themselves. IF you want to be a monkey’s uncle go ahead.”
I stand here before you, an atheistic agnostic. Allow me to explain. I don’t really believe that there’s a universal consciousness out there watching over us and taking care of us. There is no evidence to support my belief in such a being. The gods described by the major religions are internally contradictory in nature, and thus makes their existence even less likely. That is NOT to say I don’t believe there is nothing greater than me. The universe is FILLED with things greater than me. There are wonders and mysteries enough to fill ten thousand lifetimes, and ten thousand more! Infinite space, infinite time, infinite variation! Imagining the possibilities out there makes me feel positively insignificant, and indeed I am. You would say I have no heart! You would call people like me closed minded because I don’t believe that there is an omnipotent, omniscient being out there who is willing to keep a special eye out JUST FOR ME….I consider that belief to be arrogant and self-important.
Oh, and for the record, that joke is poorly done and anyone with half an ounce of knowledge in simian taxonomy knows the fallacy. If anything, I’M A GORILLAS UNCLE!
you shouldn’t feel bad, to hold back in something you believe.
@...wookie_x: That is NOT to say I don’t believe there is nothing greater than me.
Damn. Poor phrasing there. It should read “That is not to say I don’t believe in anything greater than me.”
Hm, still fairly awkward, but I suppose I’ll have to let it go for now. I’m too tired to be thinking right now.
@...wookie_x: Aw wookie, if it were someone else I would have made fun of them probably, but since it’s you – dude that isn’t my quote. You missed the original Moldy Bible. There was a post before, with this picture, and some guy appeared and said all those silly things.
This is a joke. I just copied his comments and posted them here, again on the same picture.
I’m a deist by the way. I don’t want to ever be part of any kind of religion, nor do I believe in hell, heaven, any other kind of afterlife, or sin. Everything else is left to interpretation.
I feel kind of insulted that you actually thought that I wrote that.
And now lemme reply to mister Devine.
@...ColombianMonkey: And I am so glad that you immediately made sure that wookie knows that’s not my quote. You’re a great friend.
@...dieAntagonista: My apologies. In my defense, I can only say that I’ve been up for over 24 hours straight now, and I’m not thinking clearly. I did miss out on that from the original thread. SumoSnipe informed me of my error, but not before I’d made the post. I suppose now I’ll have to beg forgiveness and bribe you with promises of gourmet cooking and sparkling conversation, but first let me get a few hours sleep?
.
.
***but, do I get points for making such an argument while half-asleep?***
@...Dr.Devine:
Man that’s crazy. I’m a masochist! Just like that? It’s really hard for me to just accept this. You see, I enjoy getting insulted only by people that I know don’t like me in the first place. If my best friend were to tell me that I write shitty poetry, I’d take offence. Why yes, it wouldn’t feel good at all. Also, I’m pretty sure I don’t enjoy pain. Or I guess that needs more experimenting but I got beat up once, it’s not cool. Or is it just subtle masochism? Does it work like that, you gotta explain.
And wow yeah, you were right. I was surrounded by women like that from when I was 12 to 15 or so. They did hug me a lot. I didn’t think that that could have started it all, I thought I’ve just always been into burying my face in perfume scented boobs.
So yeah thanks, I guess that leaves me with no other option than to change my showering habits. Bummer. It’s the best part of the day, minus the fainting. And I suppose I’ll have to convert to Buddhism or some shit. I was really hoping I’d never have to get into this whole artsy-fartsy-look how I’m one with the planet-meditating thing.
I have more questions though, do you have time for the psychology questions of a self righteous woman or should I go away.
@...wookie_x: You get at least 64 points. You’re pretty awesome by default, you’re into zombies aren’t you. I love anything that has to do with zombie apocalypses. Seen countless movies etc. but yeah go to bed wookie.
I’ll keep the gourmet cooking and sparkling conversation thing in mind though. Your fate is sealed.
@...wookie_x: see wookie your fate got sealed awesome, i got condemned badly lol. Obviously DieA enjoys torturing me somehow… i dunno how but she manage. Damn masochist these days *eye roll* lol.
whats a guy like me to do…
@...ColombianMonkey: Things are looking up for you, what are you complaining about. She has just been professionally declared a masochist, and who wrote the most up to date how to book on spanking?
You did.
2+2= do i have to spell it out for you?
@...dieAntagonista: Sorry. After wookie showed me what he wrote, I spent a few minutes on the floor snorting the rug in an attempt to breathe between the gales of laughter. I then told him of the original RDD, and of how folks went to town on him. boy is his face red now.
But. Your fate may be the one sealed. I have had his cooking. You will become addicted.
@...SumoSnipe: shhhhh you provide no goodness. I knew before she was masochist. and teh spanking *happy sigh* yeaaa.
anyhow. you and wookie are neighbours? if so that is really awesome.
@...ColombianMonkey: SumoSnipe and I are neighbors in the sense that we live under the same roof, and eat the same cooking. Ok, more of housemates, really.
@...ColombianMonkey: yeah had to get all the permits and stuff to keep a wookie on the property in city limits.
@...wookie_x: @...SumoSnipe: holy shit that’s insane awesome. soooo who has the pc? both share or both have there own. lan parties? beer? ninjas? *tear*
@...ColombianMonkey: Ok her is the set up. I own the house. He has the real Computer, as I have stated in the past I have an ancient salvage wreck held together with dustbunnies and duct tape. He does the cooking as he is the superior chef. The wookie is also responsible for zombie control, general security, motorcycle salvage, and all things related to computers. I take care of anything needed to be pounded on with a sledgehammer, or set on fire. Beer? Oh yes. I made a bar for my living room. no stools. if you cannot stand at the bar and reach your drink, you are too drunk, or too young to drink. Ninjas? not that I’ve noticed, but we get a lot of pirates around at times.
All these Know it Alls and no one has yet identified what fungus that is, or if it is edible.Come on you brainiacs! I want to know if we can eat this thing!
Um. I have no frakking clue how I just did that……
@...SumoSnipe: Subtle! I like it!
@...dieAntagonista: I suggest you stay away from saunas unless you have someone w/ you. Do you know if you’re anemic? I have to be especially careful, in fact I never shower if I’m the only one home. As a diabetic, my circulatory system is compromised and having degenerative arthritis I love the heat, but it definitely makes me woozy and have actually passed out more than once. I passed out at Shea Stadium once, that was embarrassing. It was over 90`, w/ 90+% humidity and I was standing in line for food. I felt it coming. I was thinking “Oh shit, this time I’m goin’ down.”, and down I went. The heat combined w/ humidity and low blood sugar knocked my ass right out. I remember sort of waking up and hearing someone say “That’s what drugs will do to you.” I wanted to explain, but then I passed out again.
@...Dr.Devine: Look I made a chiasmus too!
Did someone say edible come?
@...Ando: Yup. All over that Bible.
Gals and Guys. I’m not taking this one all the way to 1782 by myself. Get busy here!
I hate Jesus.
@...SumoSnipe: Ahahaha. I wish I could have seen wookie’s face. And if that’s really true, about his gourmet cooking, man that’s amazing.
It’s pretty cool that you live in the same house too.
@...nyokki:
Yeah I have been to a sauna one time, for like 3 minutes. I thought I was going to die. Which is sad, Austrians are really big on saunas and the like.
Yeah my doctor said I have anaemic tendencies but that I’m not actually anaemic.
“I remember sort of waking up and hearing someone say “That’s what drugs will do to you.†I wanted to explain, but then I passed out again.”
That’s fucking funny.
The only time I have been to an optician, I think last summer or so, it was incredibly hot. And I passed out in the waiting room. I actually fell on the floor and hit my head so I must have lied there for a while ’cause I was the only one there. Later on some guy came and put me on a chair. So I wake up all confused and the first thing he asks me, “Are you on drugs?”
Asshole.
Also, Jesus is my favourite Christian.
@...dieAntagonista: Atleast his observation was 50% correct, soft drugs would be the correct answer lol
You are all over-posting asshats.
$0.02
Bwuhaha
Ok I just saw a UID of over 10800. and no word from tiki about hitting over 9000. Either he is too sober or too drunk, but damn dude how could you not crow about these numbers?
@...Putridity: and this asshat is looking for a new head to try on. Hold still. last one was to pointy of a pinhead.
@...dieAntagonista: I’m not saying Jesus isn’t fucking awesome. Raising the dead, flight, prophecy, power over fish…. these are all superpowers I can use.
But Jesus once tried to shoot me. With a GUN.
And that’s just not cool.
@...LukeV1-5: What did you do to piss her off? Tell her that joke from the Crow?
@...SumoSnipe: Dude…what.
Come on guys!
NNNGRRRRAAAAAAAUUUGGGGHH!
More EFFORT!
@...LukeV1-5:
Sweet
are you paying us for this service?! i’m already in the hall of fame for the first moldy bible.
“Hall of Fame”?
There is no “Hall of Fame”.
There is now, this very moment, at this very place, or there is anonymity.
Kissing doesn’t last.
@...LukeV1-5: just proves that you’re not in the hall of fame for the first 1. by all means feel free to elect this potential topic in a hall of fame topic. do as you please 😉
@...LukeV1-5: I usually reserve that kind of effort for when I’m constipated. Not that you guys want to hear about that. But I’m sharing. I’m a sharing kind of guy.
I thought that was Hall of Flame.
@...LukeV1-5: “Jesus Christ walks up to an innkeeper, hands him three nails and asks ‘Can you put me up for the night?'”
@...SumoSnipe: lmao
I lol’d hard.
@...LukeV1-5: “power over fish”
Made me laugh real fucking hard.
Well in that case, I would have to like him even less than you do.
Jesus shot my dog.
No really. I found them both in my backyard once. They were growling at each other. All of the sudden, Jesus pulls out a revolver. Out of his diaper. So I yelled, hey Jesus what the hell are you doing. And he goes, you’ve got one seriously ugly dog.
Now I tried to insist that there’s enough space for ugly dogs on this planet. No chance.
Poor Kim.
Also, I’m killing zombies on urbandead.com
My name is Antagonista. Someone come help me and give me stuff for free. Please.
@...dieAntagonista: I’m in Hollomstown at the Huggins ave fire station. where you at? Oh yeah watch out for ColumbiaMonkey, He was already been turned into a zombie.
So I started playing again, because you people reminded me.
But then I forgot how.
So now I’m asleep, on the street, outside.
Hurraaaaay.
@...SumoSnipe: lol i like to bite, is that bad of me?!
Dear Jesus.
Please bring a a pony, a dollhouse and an RPG.
DieA, Jesus didn’t kill your dog because it was ugly, he killed it for stem cells.
It is a little known fact that Jesus derives all his immortality from animal stem cells. He would use feotus stem cells but his dad forbids it.
Luke V-1, The reason that he took a few shots at you is that he attains his superpowers by draining the souls of mortals.
Jesus is the necromancer son of god.
Awesome huh?
@...Putridity: no no no man, let me inform you. As a book-keeper of all known data of the all powerful Jesus. dieAntagonista is the new world order Jesus aka the anti-christ. Me? I’m one of her chosen disciples. how much she has? she has 3,14159265 disciples. How does she have 0,14159265 as a disciple? last person who kept asking her so much questions got liquid into nitrogen Dookie dust.if you seek to know more information contact me instead I’m a coolkat. But now i’m off to do one of my duties. everyday at 2:43AM I have to hand feed her grapes & kiwi’s.
“I’m one of her chosen disciples. how much she has? she has 3,14159265 disciples. How does she have 0,14159265 as a disciple? last person who kept asking her so much questions got liquid into nitrogen”
Best fucking thing I have heard in quite a while.
Good boy.
@...ColombianMonkey: So she killed her own dog and tried to shoot Luke V1-5?
Okay. I can roll with that. But how do you explain what colonol mustard was doing to professor plum with the candlestick?
Jesus power your way out of this one DieA!
@...Putridity: Um that was not Col. Mustard, that was me. If you want to call riverdaledragon Prof. Plum, ok, but I used a magnum of champagne, not a candlestick.
No Jesus power involved, just steam, spit and hooch. Ok maybe a little Loki power involved.
@...ColombianMonkey: Forcibly wrapping riverdaledragon around your Highcalibre man-machine meat was your feat that I enjoyed the most. The poor little fellow had no chance against a ballistic phallus of that proportional megatonne. The seismic thrusting would have registered on Jehovah’s personal Richter scale. The fallout from that Genesis rivaling sphinctorial rampage would have made Jesus’s Geiger-counter melt.
You are an anal ninja sir! No doubt.
Gar. that was meant for SumoSnipe.
@...Putridity: Why thank you sir.
@...Putridity: i supose that was meant towards sumo lol. i just book keep data and do some special extracurricular activities jesus wants. but don’t we all want to know about it.
NO
no wut
@...ColombianMonkey: Don’t wanna know the ‘facts’. Just let me continue with my fantasies, blissfully ignorant of the harsh reality.
What an ignominious end to the Bible’s glorious revenge.
It hasn’t ended yet. I hope you’re wearing diapers, ’cause shit’s just getting started.
Well of course I am
Wait, what.
Ok, ok, ok.
We need some kind of trigger comment.
Ok.
Guns are stupidand anyone who has an interest in guns has a fixation with phallic objects usually related with homosexual males.
Duscuss.
@...LukeV1-5: No, sorry. A gun is a tool. My Phallic Object Fixation is well satisfied by my sword collection, which I orgasmicly enjoy sticking into random deserving religious fundy asses and roar:
” First Amendment, Fucker! BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BULL GOD!”
Guns and religion are what bitter people cling to.
Bitter? No just highly amused at the screeching and squawking when someone strikes back. BTW when do you think would be a good day for the ceremony? Gotta have a little lead time. Build a boat, brew a couple barrels of mead, gather wood and sacrifices for the bonfire, get the guest lists together.
@...LukeV1-5: DOH! “….need some kind of trigger comment…” wow, now I see what you did there. I say. Good show, jolly good show! my brain must have gone way out on vacation.
Jesus
Fucking
Christ
I thought I knew how much fail a single person could be.
But you, your fail has broken my fail sensors.
Calan Haf, of course.
@...LukeV1-5: Sometimes a truly epic bad pun with cause complete meltdown in parts of the brain. mine just took awhile to recognize the damage, then find what caused it.
Will gladly send my gremlin minions to repair your sensors.
@...SumoSnipe: Don’t bother, man. I’m thinking of transcending this state of existence, you know, becoming a creature of pure energy, omniscient, omnipotent. I won’t need my sensors anymore.
@...nyokki: What
@...LukeV1-5: SumoSnipe said:
I answered:
Last time I held one of those at my house, the manager of Castle Superstore here ended up with second degree burns to his right palm. And not in a good way. Hell just last month was cleaning out the fire pit and found a knife that had been lost. This was 5 years ago….nope not all the warrants have expired yet.
@...SumoSnipe: heheh
I bet. 😉 You know promiscuity is something to be celebrate during Calan Haf. 😉
I would post the pictures from that party, but then I would lose a lot of income……
2:55
I know Captain that you’ve done this work before,
We’ve got a problem you can help us I am suu-uure.
The colonel’s gone rogue and his methods are unsound,
You’ll take a PBR upriver, track him doooown
There’s a conflict, in every human heart
And the temptation is to take it all too faaar,
In this war, things get so confused,
But there are some things that cannot be excuuuuuused.
He’s acting like a god, an insane lunatic
Your mission, terminate, with EXtreme prejudi-ice.
The road is dangerous and your progress may be slow,
Here’s the file, and it’s all you need to knooooooow
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO dooden doo
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO DOO
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO dooden doo
Doodun doodun doo
Doodun doodun doo
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO dooden doo
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO DOO
Doodun doodun doodun doo DOO dooden doo
Doodun doodun doo
Doodun doodun doo
doodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoo
Dewndoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoo
Braumdoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoo
Dewndoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoodleoo
DEWN deh neh neh neh, Neh neh neh neh neh, Neeewn
Neh neewwwn
And then the solo gets a little complicated.
Just thought I’d share Edge of Darkness, from 02:55 onwards.
Good night, sweet prince.
@...LukeV1-5: FUCK YOU, YOU V1-5 Pansy. Nothing is dying!
Uh oh, my interest is vacillating.
@...ColombianMonkey: APPARENTLY REPOAST’D BIBBLE IS DYING
I POSTED FUCKING IRON MAIDEN, A WHOLE FUCKING SONG, WITH EVEN THE FUCKING GUITAR SOLO, AND STILL COULDN’T GET A RESPONSE FROM YOU FUCKERS
What the hell do you want from me?!
Grrrraaauauauuauagh
Seriously, you know how much effort that took? Deciding on the right way to spell the sounds?
maybe nobody liked the song. see if you was putting some aqua – barbie girl you’d see the hits go up so fast lolol
I’m glaring at my screen SO HARD right now.
Either my eyes or the screen will explode.
@...LukeV1-5: see you comment more, i shit you not people like to post to shit and say shit.
btw take a pencil and jam it in your eye
Iron Maiden sucks donkey farts.
@...ColombianMonkey:
Stop stealing my expressions and making them shitty.
Telling people to take a pencil and jam it in their eye is not funny.
You’re supposed to say, “you make me want to jam a pencil in my eye.”
Also, stop telling Luke what to do. I watched the video and I liked it.
You still suck. And so does yer ma.
@...nyokki: How would you know they suck donkey farts unless you had met the band yourself while you were out on a donkey fart-sniffing sojourn, you donkey fart sniffer you.
@...ColombianMonkey: I do not understand this sentence. Parlez-vouz francais, @...LukeV1-5: peut-etre?
While we are here, you’re stupid.
“DJ Rhymez”, I ask you.
@...dieAntagonista: It’s only fair game, honey.
If you’d care to look up here.
The practices are alarmingly similar, or so I imagine.
How did that random link get in there?
Curiouser and curiouser.
Also, no sticking plaster will stick to my skin, what’s up with that.
@...LukeV1-5:
No, I used that expression just recently a couple of times. Word for word. He keeps imitating me. He’s probably not even aware. Or you know how his English is poor, and then all of the sudden he has one line in there that sounds super sophisticated and shit. Well, he got it from me, most of the time. Also, I’d make fun of him anyway. For the lulz.
And how come you can speak French. I don’t even know anything about you. This saddens me. So you can speak at least 3 languages. I’m currently teaching my self French, but it’s hard. Harder than Japanese.
@...LukeV1-5: ‘Zactly. O know my donkey farts.
Also 200!