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God made me an ethist.
@...nobody knows:
An ethist? You’re someone who rigidly follows ethics?
@...Sticky: If god made him/her that way then who are we to question?
free will makes that argument even more hilarious
@...Sticky:
God made you a fucking gramer nazi.
Too much of Athiesm, and all that Dawkins is about is people QQing about all the sand in their vaginas over christianity or other monotheistic “book” religions.
I know its hard to believe, but there are faiths out there that dont fall into one the “big three” religions.
None the less, I find this comic fucking awesome. Its not so much that I find any of christianity offensive as much as I think that christianity has very little to do with the teachings of Joshua of Nazereth. Who basically said dont be a douchebag, be cool to other people, and the divine will love you.
Hail Eris
Well duh. Of course the bible is far superior to The God Delusion.
I mean I wouldn’t live my life according to either of them, but fuck. Made up or not, the bible is one of the greatest stories ever written. Sheesh.
But of course I wouldn’t expect many people to be objective enough to see what I see so flame away.
FSM FTW.
FSM?
Serious question, Why do athiests tend to be bigger assholes than evangelical christians? Seems like a different color stick up both of their asses.
@...Nimbo: It’s prolly because atheists usually decide to become atheists and they see most religious folk as naive (at best)and needing religion as a ‘crutch’. It’s hard for most people to direct their intelligence to scrutinizing themselves w/ the same enthusiasm that they do others.
@...nobody knows:
It’s “grammar.” “Grammar.”
@...Nimbo:
Flying Spaghetti Monster
@...Nimbo: not all atheist are fat lil German kids who play ut2004
As im currently FULLY in my cups (read: R U M) I will say that the Pastafarian movement has much to offer this world.
as to nyokki, I get it, douchebags failing to recognize that even though that others are douchebags (which they point out correctly), that they themselves are douchebags. In short the world has no lacking of douchebags or douchebaggery.
The Bible is a horrible story. Poorly written, way too long, inconsistent to the point you can argue it negates itself, wicked bad translation, and the ending sucks.
I’m a little tired of the FSM myself. These days I’m all about the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
@...angrymatt: Perhaps pink elephants? I think you may get Nimbo to join.
@...angrymatt:
I like how you point out why it seems inconsistent and all that to you.
Of course it’s a wicked bad translation. Which is WHY it’s inconsistent. King James and all them other fucks, changed things, mistranslated and misinterpreted as they saw fit.
The original Old Testament in Hebrew happens to be pretty flawless.
Besides, don’t tell me you can’t enjoy a good story even with a few plot holes. Pfffft.
I don’t think there exist that many people who can look at the bible as objective as I do. I mean yeah, it’s a little difficult since it’s the very reason for so many crimes.
But I doubt you watch films like Silence of the Lambs and you can’t enjoy it because you think of the real psychopaths out there who murder people.
Rational and objective atheists my ass.
@...nyokki: That’d also explain why, in my experience, born-again Christians also seem to be bigger assholes than those who were raised with it all their lives.
@...nobody knows: Grammar has nothing to do with your inability to spell.
@...Kishi: Very true.
There is only one solution: stone the non believers. It’s in the bible. So it has to be true. Forget that the bible has many authors and many versions. Just forget that and find the biggest stone and throw it.
@...dieAntagonista: We don’t know each other, but I love you so much that if I had a womb I would probably spontaneously procreate if I ever met you.
The Torah is effectively the first 5 books of the Christian bible; albeit lucid, rational and logical with few of the holes of the later latin translations from Hebrew (see: Catholicism) and a whole lot more violence and shame.
@...asrainox:
Right on. Hey, I have a womb! You assumed I’m a man, didn’t you.
It’s nice to know that there are indeed people who agree with me. Haven’t had too much of that lately.
I always LOL when christians argue about which is the better translation when none of them read Hewbrew, Aramaic, or Greek.
At least the Torah is generally presented with lots of glosses from various scholars, and often glosses for the gloss.
I always LOL when wiseguys assume only Christians who can’t read Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek would discuss the bible.
Surprise! I’m not a Christian. And yea, I’m working on my Hebrew, but my father can read Hebrew so I do know what I’m talking about because we studied it together.
So what now, Nimbo.
@...dieAntagonista: *bows*
The only bible I have was my dad’s. I discovered it while going through all his papers. I didn’t discover he was Catholic til after he died. It was prolly that that caused me to take several (undergrad) courses on “Bible as Literature”, “Comparative Religion” and some philosophy classes regarding religion. So my dad’s bible is now well written upon and I cherish it. I don’t think I will ever be religious, but I think I do understand why people are. While I have little patience for any kind of evangelism and fundamentalism, most of the people I know are religious and we get along just fine, even when we argue. As far as I can tell, and I claim no scholarship, it is only the fundamentalists/evangelical types that believe that their holy book is absolutely true as written (by the hand of God) and there is no need for interpretation. How they get past the reality of translation is something I don’t understand.
@...Phyreblade:
No way. Did you bow in agreement? If so, yeah well that’s not surprising. You, nyokki and outofocus are probably the most objective people I have ever come across. You people are unreal. If I could have a custom brain, I would want it to be a combination of all three of your brains. kthxbai.
@...nyokki:
Yeah I love your story. It’s very romantic, in a way. You know it’s funny though. I don’t consider myself religious at all. On the other hand I could never imagine being an atheist. Although I have been, and I change my mind every day so even that statement is probably absurd.
But I agree with you absolutely. For anyone to claim that they know the absolute truth, and even to go as far to claim that one single book contains it is outrageous. It’s a lose/ lose situation. On one side you have the fundamentalist who take it all literally because it’s exactly what they want to be true. On the other you have the New Testament followers who interpret everything as they see fit.
@...dieAntagonista: Good point.
@...dieAntagonista: Nono, I knew you were a lady. You’d still impregnate me with the level of awesome you would exude in my direction. It would be like a phallic phantasm. Or something.
@...asrainox: I like that. It’s sexy. And P is my favourite letter.
I’ve consistently told people the Bible can be seen as just a book and still respected as an influential piece of literature. You know, like Mein Kampf or Don Quixote.
Seriously though. If you treat it like any other piece of fiction and mythos, it’s always going to be better in the original language, and it will have to be held in the context of the time period in which it was written to “make sense” to a modern audience. Lest we have numbskulls calling all Christians mysogynists.
my take is that people Diefy the bible and make it some holy powerful magical book with powers to read your mind and shit. and of course, one of the things the bible discourages is idolizing things.
most people think the bible was written as a book, and people view it as a book, but that’s not really accurate.
the bible has about 40 separate authors who wrote it over the span of about 1800 years.
there is a 400 year gap between the old testament and the new testament.
most of the new testament is a collection of letters.
it was written in 3 languages on 3 continents. Because of this fact, and also because most people cannot read Hebrew, Aramaic, or Greek, there is a need to translate the collection of works we collectively know as the bible into the language of the reader. so ANY bible is going to cross 4 different languages.
in 1611, King James commissioned 100 scholars to translate the 3 languages into english. this was where the KJV came about.
anyways, it is a very remarkable whether you believe in the god of abraham, issac, and jacob or not. in b4 JEWS DID 9/11
andangrymatt, i don’t think the ending sucks…
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
I believe god exists, and was made by the flying spaghetti monster.
@...natedog:
Revelation, and some parts of the old testament, I would love to read again. I haven’t looked at a bible in about two years. I think I should, but I’m afraid I might find God and start trying to smite you all.
@...nyokki: That is also one of my basic issues with Religious fundamentalists. They don’t seem to understand that religious documents, in general, are often *highly* metaphorical, and are thus subject to gross misinterpretation if taken literally…
@...dieAntagonista: Yes wai. Good points. If a little adversarial.. 🙂
But you certainly don’t need my brains. Mine has issues. But if you ever figure out how to merge brains, I’m sure Nyokki and Outofocus have plenty to spare… 😀
But yours are plenty good. And more importantly, you use them. That’s all you need. They’re only gonna get better…
@...Phyreblade:
Brains with issues are the best brains. If it doesn’t have issues it’s a sign that it’s dysfunctional. Non thinking. Thinking = issue creating. So what I’m trying to say is my brain has issues too and I’m very proud of them.
You know just today I was pondering about brains while I starred at some atoms floating through the air. And I came to the conclusion that your brain is the only thing you really own. (the you is hypothetical) Anything material you ‘own’, can be taken away from you any moment for numerous reasons you can’t even imagine. One could say you own your body, but your body can be put into jail, or someone could chop off your limbs and sell them on the black market to limbless rich mafioso gangster people. But your brain? Sure, they could brainwash you and make it dysfunctional or mess with it in other ways – but they can’t take it away. I mean obviously the mind, not the actual brain here.
Hm, maybe I should smoke less weed. Or more. Who knows.
And I don’t know about mine getting better in time. I value objectivity more than anything, but I have way too much fun being an aggressive asshole.
@...natedog:
Truly. But in my eyes, the bible will always be the most epic and beautiful story I have ever read. And I have read countless books for my age.
@...dieAntagonista: Indeed… brains with issues has a flavor… But some flavors are better than others. 🙂
And I agree, any part of our physical bodies can be removed, however I don’t think it is necessarily true that we, as humans, actually own anything that can *never* be taken away from us.
I think it is an illusion. If we are brainwashed, or mentally broken, our minds are no longer our own. It will be controlled by whatever broke it.
Even if we believe that our essence is something that resides in the body, but is not of it, it still means that it is not ours, but belongs to God, the earth, the universe, ect, depending on what you believe. We are merely the temporary groundskeepers for our bodies, minds and spirits.
What is most important is what you do with your “property” while it is still in your possession… 🙂
LIES!!!!!!
@...traptin85: All Lies?