21 second refresh!
And I’m back! With slash wounds from yetis, kickass new meditation techniques, and one extremely battered little black book.

And did I really miss out on the shaving your privates part of the thread? FUUUUUCK!

@nyokki@SumoSnipe
Just a little bit. And you kids seem to have talked about pubic hair removal methods and penis chopping while I was gone.
And I just finished looking at some of the latest pic links I missed….the horror, the horror… minus the aptly named “flower”. 😀
@Phyreblade:Now that I’m back, I expect you to give me back YOUR copy of my little black book. Stop trying to steal my clients, damn it.

I propose a bomb of some kind.
Vehicle preparation:
Step one, tie twine to collar of dog, then to collar of cat.
Step two, tie cat and dog together.
Step three, tie cat/dog to wheelbarrow.
Bomb prep.
Step 1, empty cutlery, FUBAR, rock hammer, terrible screwdriver, and field knife in to the bed of the wheelbarrow.
Step 2, take nail polish remover, and check the label. Is it acetone?
If yes, mix with hydrogen peroxide, and let stand for about four hours. Don’t bump it, breath it in, or look at it funny. After four hours, it will have reacted, forming acetone peroxide. Which is what they put in suicide bomber belts. It’s extremely unstable, so don’t fucking drop it, or bump it. Unless you have something against having arms. Obtain a glass or plastic bottle, and fill it halfway with the dish soap. Use a spatula or a knife to scrape it out of whatever you mixed it in, and use the knife to make a whole through the newly formed explosive. ( If it’s still liquid… don’t touch it, you did it wrong, take it out back and pour it on a patch of ground you don’t want anything growing on.) Douse a length of twine about two feet in length in a basic incenidary of your choosing (gasoline, whatever, Just has to be liquid.) Then, push the twine through the hole, and wrap it around a few times. Slide the explosive SLOWLY into the dish soap in the plastic bottle. Tape over the top, with some of the fuse still hanging out.
Step 3, put it in the wheelbarrow.
Step 4, cut the holocaust cloak into a doggy flame proof suit, then put it on your dog. Fuck the cat, it can burn.
Step 5, drive to a place of your choosing (empty field, playground, school, shopping mall, whatever. Its your project man.) with the wheelbarrow. Set up a digital camera to tape the explosion. (for posting on youtube, of course.) Ignite the fuse. Then toss a steak to where you wish the explosive to go off, and run. FAST. Then post the vid, and post a link to the vid. If you’re attached to your pets… just leave them out. still run though.

If it’s not acetone… don’t make a bomb. Just put on the holocaust cloak, douse yourself in gasoline, setup a video camera, and set yourself ablaze. Then post pics/vid.

….I just kille LukeV1-5, stole his time machine, went back in time, shot him, stole his gun and laser pen, and went back in time and had sex with every single woman in 1600s EUROPE. I GOT MY SHOTS before I went though. And packed a few million condoms.
@elcarzothepale: With dishsoap, your cat, and the FUbar? Kinky.
@Phyreblade: I’m not personally worried about it. My Pimp is a different story. I recommend you give it back to me, or she’ll break you in several, unpleasant ways.

@ColombianMonkey: Its the book I write down names and numbers in, if you get what I’m driving at. Lately I’ve been switching over to a number system, so its easier to keep track.
As for my pimp, her name is Gretchen.
Here’s her picture: www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Random/buff-chick.jpg
And yes, she has a penis. That comes off next Monday though.

Now she’s Gretchen, our 195 lb. pimp.

@Phyrebalde: Wel,, that the way homie gonna play it….She’ll be over at your place around…. 7? Does that work for you?
@ColombianMonkey: With the risk of sounding like a total noob, can you link the forum you want the pic posted on? Kthanks.

Alright, really? No one else suggested this?….
BIBLE FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!