TERROR ALERT * FREEDOM ON THE MARCH * TERROR ALERT

as many of you know, I (sometimes) attend class at Florida State University, which is located here in sunny Tallahassee, Florida. As such, I’m on the “Emergency Alert Broadcast” list. Here’s the first one that I got today:

04/03/2008 – Suspicious Package in parking garage #1- Woodward Ave. Building evacuated. Officials are on scene investigating. Avoid the area.

I’m at work, which is a few miles away. So unless they’ve found a nuke, I think I’ll be ok. Then I get a second one:

04/03/2008 12:35PM – At 11:40 a.m., an FSU parking attendant reported to FSU police that he had spotted a car with a suspicious package on the fourth floor of Parking Garage No. 1 on Woodward Avenue. FSU police responded immediately and found a white Izuzu car in the southeast corner of the fourth floor with a briefcase that displayed a message about a destructive device. FSU police set up a command post nearby, cordoned off the parking garage and the street, and evacuated the building. They also initiated the university’s Alert notification system. The Tallahassee Fire Department and the bomb squad are on scene. The bomb squad is currently assessing the briefcase.

Oh goodness! That sure does sound seriously. Although…since when do terrorists label their bombs? The answer comes in the third and fourth abuse of the message system:

040/03/2008 1:40PM – ALL CLEAR – The suspicious package in Parking Garage 1 – Woodward Avenue has been determined to be harmless. The area will reopen shortly.

04/03/2008 1:45PM – At 1:30 p.m., the FSU Police Department issued an “all clear” and said they had resolved the incident at Parking Garage No. 1. A local 17-year-old high school student returned to his car and accompanied police as they searched the briefcase that had aroused suspicion. There was nothing inside. He told them that a message that seemed to suggest a destructive device was inside was actually his nickname, “A-Bomb.” Officers allowed those who work in the building to return to their offices and held traffic so that drivers parked in the garage could quickly exit. Surrounding streets were cleared, and the campus returned to normal status.

Now, for the kicker:

Here’s a map of the campus. Around C5 you’ll see the Number “20” and the number “70”. 70 refers to the affected parking garage. The 20? That refers to a FSU PD substation. So why were they setting up a command post nearby? Haven’t used up their command tent quota for the month? Also, “A-Bomb”? lol what a nick name. Bet his new nick is gonna be something like “dumbass” or “gitmo boy”.